The Last Time I Smiled Was When I Saw There Was No More

I left my parents' home when I was 12 years old, to go live in the capital with my older brother. My brother needed someone to take care of his younger children while he and his wife (my sister-in-law) went to work. My father granted the first son's request and sent me to the capital to take care of my older brother.

It was the worst decision my parents ever made, to send me to live with my older brother.

What Happened to Me?

"In order to understand the story better, I need to tell you a little bit about African stories."

Each country in Africa has its own culture, habits, and customs. I was born in Angola, a country full of natural beauty and natural resources; a patient and happy people despite being governed by a totalitarian party (government) that has been in power for more than 47 years. In my country it is common to find family homes with more than 10 families living together, and, when a family is smaller and needs help to take care of some things like housework, childcare, or doing anything that requires a contractual intermediary; they invite someone from the family, who is not doing much of value in life and put him as if he were a domestic servant, a butler, a nanny or anything that serves of value to them. "That's what they did to me!"

I became a slave for 9 years and it totally changed my way of looking at people. It froze 90% of the love I feel in my heart, I stayed away from my closest family, I walked away from people who just wanted to be friends, I closed my friend list, I went to live in another city, and I was cured.

"Now let's get started to better understand what happened to me."

What Happened to Me?

After I left the city where I lived with my parents, about 200 kilometers from the capital, I thought that everything in my life would change for the better. After all, I lived in a country town where things were limited and knowledge was almost not advanced at all, I thought that by moving to the capital I would grow a lot mentally, make great friends, be seen differently, and be very, very happy indeed. This is not what happened!

I remember it was 7:30 pm on December 23, 2005, and I was very happy to finally arrive in the capital. It was not my first time in the city, but it was the first time that I was convinced that I would live in the capital. The most coveted city in central South Africa, the most popular market in the country. Who wouldn't be happy! After all, it was a chance for me to meet new people, make new friends, see amazing places, and see many screaming airplanes at the airport since we were near the international airport.

I was received with great expectation at home, my sister-in-law seemed happy, my still small nephew in his quiet place.

Have you ever heard that bad places always have an amazing commercial?

Angola is not only known for having great natural riches, but also for killing its people with misery. So, in the neighborhood where my brother lived, there was no piped drinking water, there was no regular electricity, and in order for you to get water, you had to walk 3, 5 to 9 kilometers to get water. And the capital of Angola is known for having very severe water shortages for the people who need it the most.

As far as I knew, I was going to the capital to take care of my youngest nephew, because I had no one to stay with during the day while my brother and my sister-in-law went to work. My brother left home at 4 a.m. and came back at 7 p.m., and my sister-in-law left home at 5 a.m. and came back at 6 p.m. I was only 12 years old when I went to the capital to take care of my youngest nephew.

At only 12 years of age, I was responsible daily for waking up early, cleaning the house, washing the dishes, making breakfast, waking my nephew, bathing him, changing his diapers, giving him milk, taking him to daycare. I would then run after the water, carrying 20-liter bottles in wheelbarrows and when I got back, it was time to go to school, to pick up my niece from daycare, change clothes, feed her, change diapers, make lunch, prepare the house so that dinner could be found ready to be made, make the baby shut up while crying. I did this for two years. In the second year and a half, my sister-in-law became pregnant again and there was one more task for me coming up. A relative of my sister-in-law decided to send two children to live in the same house with us. Seeing this, I then became excited because I thought I would be relieved of the tasks that were too much for me.

The Battle of 14 Begins

I was turning 14 years old and the worst battle of my life began. The mixture of adolescence together with the too many chores that I was doing without support from others made me angry. I asked my sister-in-law that now that there were three young people living in the house, we should divide up the chores so that the service would flow and we would keep more balance for each other. My sister-in-law took this as a challenge of authority, a total disrespect. She put me on her black list, told the neighborhood that I had no respect for what she was doing for me, that I was ungrateful for everything I had experienced in the last two years, and many other offensive things that are not worth writing here.

From then on a tremendous hatred began on the part of my sister-in-law. The chores got tighter and tighter, I had to carry water every day of my life without being able to disagree even if I had water in the house. As long as I was under her roof, I had to obey everything (she said). And my brother, where was he? He was on her side, supporting her like a supporter clamoring for his team. For the two people who came to live in the house, the least they did was to get the 20-liter bottles each, to pour into the water barrels. I carried kilometers and they would wait at home watching TV and eating, to pour the water. It was like this for a long seven years!

If a light bulb broke in the house it was my fault, if the gas ran out at night it was my fault, if the food ran out it was my fault, if the water was missing in the house it was my fault. Everything that was to be done I had to be involved, all the heavy work, I had to be the executor. In the years 2009 to 2010, I had a physical deformation in my chest, caused by the excessive weights that I carried to collect drinking water from kilometers away. I manifested that I was sick, they said I was faking myself not to do the housework.

"I suffered moral offenses, bodily offenses, and was beaten up."

Where were my parents with all this happening to their youngest son?

My parents doubted it, thinking I was pretentious because of my adolescent phase until one day they witnessed my brother and sister-in-law bullying me in front of them. It was like a bucket of cold water for my father. Immediately my father met with the family at home and questioned them saying: Is this how you treat your son? This boy here is my son, and he came here as a child, a 12-year-old child, now that he is 15 years old, I consider him as your son, because he grew up here. How dare you mistreat him like that, as if he were not a family member?

My father was like a buffalo snorting through his nostrils. He immediately asked me to go back to the country town with him. My brother, ashamed, asked my forgiveness and asked that I stay because I was already attending an advanced school class and couldn't simply cancel the school year and start another. My father understood this side of things and oriented me to divide the chores among the kids at home. My father's request lasted only days, the bullying returned, the bullying was more intense, things started to get worse every day and I didn't understand where so much hatred came from.

The Last Time I Smiled Was When I Saw That It Was No More

"That's right, that's exactly what you ended up reading. The last time I smiled was when I realized I couldn't do it anymore."

During the 9 years that I lived in the capital, I was always patient, did things politely, never dared to answer back to my elders, always put up with all the insults coming from all sides. As a result, some friends became worried about me, thinking that, after being mistreated so much by my own family, I would rebel against them and commit a big murder. I made my friends calm down, that I was not making a ragout of committing a murder, I was simply making a ragout of escaping. I was anticipating how I was going to leave that house and never come back, not even for a second.

I told my friends, "Write this down and don't forget, when I leave this house, you will never see me again, the only place you will see me is on social media. Of course, they didn't believe me. But today they are more convinced than ever.

That's what I did.

At the end of 2013 I graduated from high school, with that I got my diploma and what little clothing I had, I said I'm going to the countryside for vacation. I was released to stay only two weeks. "I'm now doing 8 years that I haven't been back there."

I left the capital happy because I was getting rid of 9 years of what I call slavery. I arrived in the interior I went to live with my uncle and started looking for a job and in March 2014 I got my first job. I earned about $62.50 a month, this was good for me because I was starting my new life.

Another problem starts

My brother called my uncle questioning why he was receiving me at his house, knowing that I fired him just saying I was going on vacation and I'm not coming back. My uncle explained by saying that I was looking for work so I did not return more to the capital, my brother was upset and held a big grudge about me because I did not return more to the capital.

In 2015, one fine day I was coming home from work happy and met my brother at my aunt and uncle's house. I had nothing against him, the only thing I wanted was to forget everything that happened while I lived in his house. He began to offend me in front of my uncle and my cousin, saying that I was ungrateful, I grew up in his house and in his care and today I decided to go live somewhere else, now he hated me and that I could no longer step in his house and that if he one day saw me go to his house would not receive me. He said that even if he died I would be forbidden to touch his coffin and that I would not be allowed to go to his death. There were so many things he said that drove me out of my mind.

On the second day, I left home upset and went to my work, called my leader, and asked for my accounts because I wanted to disappear. My brother had spoken very harsh words to me, and I had done nothing wrong to him. My boss sat me down and told me to talk to my parents to solve the problem. I went to my parents, my parents were not believing that my brother had said such harsh words to me. My parents sent for all my brothers and my uncle and the problem was solved. I packed my things and traveled to Brazil, stayed there for a while, then went to the United States. When I came back to Angola, I found another problem. My brother was upset because I had traveled to America, yelled at my uncles and my parents questioning why I traveled if he being the oldest could never travel outside of Africa. My father explained that I had paid for my entire trip by myself, that he had not intervened behind everything and there were so many things.

Today I live happily in another city

To get away from problems with my brother, I decided to go and live in another city away from all the family. There I started my life, I became a freelance influencer, I got a job that pays me well, I live in a great place, I became an investor, I am happy. My brother and sister-in-law, eight years later are still talking about me around, but the important thing is that today I can finally feel like a different person. If I hadn't left the capital, I wouldn't have the vision that I have today and I wouldn't be where I am today.

Today I am the biggest financial education influencer in the country. I have thousands of students being educated monthly through social media channels. I am about to make my first $100K as a pioneer investor and I have never felt better than I do now.

That phase of my life is dead to me.