The killer who destroys a child's life is not a game, not fun, but ......

Let the world have more love, and let children do less harm.

Parents have an absolute gift for language when it comes to destroying their children.

Li Meijin, an education expert, once conducted a survey on 1,000 minors. The results showed that children who are often scolded by their parents at home have the highest probability of personality defects, with 25.7% of them being "inferior and depressed", 22.1% being "cold" and 56.5% being "irritable".

Jimmy said, "A child would rather be stabbed by a cactus than hear the cynicism of an adult."

Because the scars on the surface are visible, while the inner injuries are invisible.

The killer who destroys a child's life is not a game, not a playful one, but the "language violence" of his parents.

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01

Language violence is the pain of a child's life

Foucault once said in Madness and Civilization that under the constraints of various social regulations, most people have abandoned physical violence, thus choosing a more civilized violence-language violence, and continuing to invade others in this way.

Compared with physical violence, verbal violence is more harmful!

Some experts have pointed out that 68% of parents in China have hurt their children verbally.

And language violence will become a lifelong pain for children.

Safekids, a global child safety organization, once published such a poster.

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The first child was holding a 30-point test paper. The whole person looked timid and nervous. His body was engraved with what his parents said to him:

"Do you let pigs eat your brain? Do you still have the face to go home when you are tested like this? "

The second child just finished a good football match with his friends, and the mud stains on his body are still there, so he angered his parents: "I have never seen such a dirty child, did you pick it up from the garbage dump?"

The third child is holding a broken vase in his hand, looking at you helplessly, his eyes are empty, as if waiting for his parents to scold him at any time.

The words engraved on his body are: "Every day, you are a troublemaker in your previous life." It's really bad to have you at home! "

These words on the poster are not only engraved on children, but also deeply engraved on children's hearts.

Children who have been hurt by verbal violence have a very high probability of excesses.

Recently, such a video was circulated on the Internet:

In a foreign supermarket, my son is playing games, and my father is very angry that his son is not doing his job properly.

He immediately said to his son, "Don't live if you dare," and took a loaded pistol and put it on the counter.

My father never imagined that his son would pull the trigger on his head at the moment when he turned around, and chose to commit suicide.

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No one knows what young people experienced during their lifetime. They may have been despised by their fathers for countless times, or they may be desperate for themselves. It happened at that node, and the father's sentence "Don't live if you dare" broke through all the defenses in his heart, just beside it was the deadliest weapon.

So a fresh life is over ......

MoMo's language is a kind of violence, an invisible weapon that kills people. There is no blood or trace, but it is enough to destroy a person.

02

How do we use language violence to destroy our children

When children are young, parents are the gods in their hearts, and children believe everything they say to their parents.

As a professor said in the book Poisoned Parents: "Children can't distinguish between facts and jokes, they will believe what their parents say about themselves and turn them into their own ideas."

If parents always say something vicious to their children, there is a high probability of committing crimes when they grow up.

Language Violence, the silver prize work of the 57th Cannes International Creative Festival, is a proof.

Director Xie Yong made a survey on six juvenile delinquents in Shenyang Juvenile Care Center, and found that they all suffered violent verbal attacks from their parents when they were young!

"Shame", "pig brain", "waste", "why don't you die" ......

These stinging words pushed these children into endless darkness, which eventually led to a big mistake.

In the video, there is a 12-year-old boy whose parents separated when he was very young. Obviously it wasn't his fault, but his mother often scolded him: let him die and say he was a waste.

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Perhaps their parents never thought that these words would push their children to commit crimes.

In particular, parents should know that all language violence has not played a role in education. Because, in essence, parents just vent their anger and grievances.

After searching on the Internet, we can find that there are many cases in which children commit suicide because of their parents' language violence.

At about 10: 00 pm on April 17, 2019, a 17-year-old child had a dispute with his parents while passing through Lupu Bridge. The child immediately got off the bus and jumped off the bridge, and his fresh life was lost within 5 seconds.

On January 27th, 2017, which happened to be the New Year's Eve, a 15-year-old child in Zhenxiong, Yunnan Province, could not stand his father's aggressiveness and chose to take pesticides to commit suicide.

The suicide note is full of hatred for my father and disappointment with the world.

In 2016, Xiao Si, a senior high school student in Quxian County, Dazhou, Sichuan Province, disappeared on the third day after the college entrance examination because he was abused by his father. His body was found in Qujiang three days later.

On the night before suicide, he published more than a dozen remarks in qq space, writing: "He wants to get the love of his parents, but he will never get it."

Xiao Ying, a 14-year-old girl from Chengdu, was madly criticized by her parents because she came home too late. Later, the girl jumped from the 6th floor and died after being rescued.

Most of the time, we think that our children can beat and scold at will. In fact, their hearts are not so strong, and they can't digest their parents' cruel humiliation and trampling on their personality.

Long-term unequal treatment will lead children to two paths: one is to vent hatred inward, self-harm or commit suicide, the other is to vent hatred outward, beat people or kill people.

If you love children, please stop verbal violence, because it is the number one killer who destroys the relationship between each other.

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The most perfect education is to accept children's imperfections

There is a perfect child in every parent's heart. We try to educate our child according to this standard, and let him live and grow up as he thinks.

As everyone knows, every child is different. Just like there are no two identical leaves in the world, they will be imperfect, and it is even more impossible for them to fully grow into what their parents want.

Educator helvetius said:

"People are just born the same. Just because of the difference in environment and education, some people may become geniuses, while others become ordinary people and even fools.

Even ordinary children will become extraordinary people as long as their education methods are proper. "

We should protect children's pure hearts as carefully as dew on lotus leaves.

Don't ask children to be perfect, it is irrational and impossible.

You must treat him as a "person" and treat him equally, instead of conquering him as a "weak person".

Edison was kicked out of school when he was eight years old, because the teacher thought Edison was an "imbecile".

The mother didn't think so, and said to Edison:

"The teacher said you are an imbecile, I don't agree with him, you don't go to school from tomorrow.

I swore in front of my teacher today that I would educate you well at home. I have made up my mind that you will become the first-class person in the world no matter what. Do you have the confidence? "

Edison said: "Mom, I am willing to swear that I will do something great, which will make the teacher who said that I am retarded chilling."

Later, Edison succeeded. When he mentioned his mother, he said, "I am especially grateful to my mother for defending my teacher. Since then, I have decided not to live up to my mother's expectations!"

Every child in the world has a positive heart, depending on how their parents guide them. They all come to the world with a mission.

We should accept our children's shortcomings as we accept our imperfect self!

Let the children grow up in their own time zone in a leisurely manner. If the children are comfortable, you will be happy.

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There is a good saying in Ephesians: "You can't export a dirty language."

A child is the world or a blank sheet of paper. When you speak ill words, he will absorb them all and give them to others.

The goal of parents to educate their children is to make their children become healthy people.

I believe that when you treat your child with gentleness and love, he will feel the least harm, the most kindness, the strongest self-confidence and the most adequate sense of security in this world!

Please stop verbal violence, from now on!

When you finish reading this article, I hope you can share it, so that more parents can learn from it, so that there is more love in the world and less harm to children!