The Good, The Brad, The Ugly

How many of us take the time to consciously ponder upon the lives of our ancestors?

I'd say I spend a lot more time thinking about this subject than the average person. I'm fascinated by the way that our DNA holds tangible memories of the experiences of those who have come before us. Their blood, wisdom, talents, & pain literally run through our blood. I feel incredibly blessed by the fact that I come from a lineage infused with gifts of healing, mediumship, & craftsmanship. That being said, my lineage also bears the weight of anger, suppression of voice, & worthiness issues.

When I look at my father, Brad, I see a man of strength, creativity, & a list of skills that goes on & on. I also see the roots of anger that have been passed down from great grandfather to grandfather to father to daughter. During my teenage years, this anger was very hard to navigate on both of our parts. Nobody had ever showed us how to feel our anger in a healthy way, so we would suppress it until it built up & spilled over in angry outbursts. As I moved out into the world on my own away from my father for the first time, something began to shift within both of us. We simultaneously started experiencing various levels of spiritual awakening symptoms which led to an opening of our hearts. Suddenly we were examining the ways in which we communicated with ourselves, each other, & the world at large. I find it really beautiful that despite walking our own paths at this time, we still went through some of the same experiences as we continued to grow individually & together.

Over the years since our spiritual awakenings began, my father & I have done quite a few ceremonies together in the name of transformation. One of these ceremonies took place in my childhood home, where many traumatic anger-fueled experiences had occurred in our pre-awakening years. We found ourselves at a pivotal point between ending an old chapter & starting a new chapter as my father prepared to sell this home. We sat cross legged on the floor of the house weeks before it was to be put on the market, knees touching, creating a circuit of energy between us. We set up an altar & lit candles in honor of the occasion. We opened with prayers, then followed up with heartfelt words that gave acknowledgement of the painful chapters we had experienced in this house, putting them to rest with forgiveness before stating intentions for the upcoming chapters of our lives. This moment shared between father & daughter was incredibly sacred & vulnerable. I felt a deepening of trust as my inner child opened her heart in safety of the man her father was continuing to grow into.

One of the most special ceremonies my father & I experienced together was an ancestral healing ceremony I facilitated for a group in Phoenix, Arizona. This marked a significant moment for both of us. I watched as my father, the man who is afraid of heights & has a hard time accepting help from others, climbed a ladder & allowed himself to fall backwards into the waiting arms of those below. This was the very first step in opening the door to going past our comfort zones, leaning into trust of the unknown. My first step was showing up to facilitate this ceremony in the first place. As I mentioned before, I come from a long line of ancestors who walked the path that was expected of them by their families & communities. Coming out as a witch & facilitating ceremonies for the public was not something that most of my heavily religious family supported. To offer this ancestral healing ceremony as my very first public ceremony was a huge step for me & my lineage as I overcame the initial fears of being seen & using my voice in a big way. Knowing that my father was there to witness this moment & experience it for himself added to the sense of empowerment for both of us. I watched as 22 people from all different walks of life gathered in a circle around the altar I had created with the intention of honoring the elements for their alchemical magick. 15,000 ancestors gathered in a circle around us. We each lit the candle of the person next to us using our own flame, symbolizing the way that our own light can be an activating force for others that unites us all as one. We wrote sacred declarations on paper: “I now break the cycle of _____ in my lineage. (Addiction, abuse, sexual suppression, guilt, poverty, etc.). I honor my ancestors; their pain ends with me. I now rewrite the story through ______.” We went around the circle & spoke our declarations aloud, honoring the element of air. One by one, each person stood, walked around the circle, entered the medicine wheel & stood before the altar. I watched as they went from the fire bowl, burning their declaration; to the air bowl, cleansing their hands with smoking herbs; to the water bowl, washing their hands clean of the burdens of their ancestors; to the earth bowl, where they grabbed a crystal to represent this newly made promise to themselves. I slipped into a trance like state as each person went through their process. I felt my ancestors singing through me as a friend echoed with her own ancestral drumming & singing. The space transformed from a simple room to an active portal as thousands of ancestors gathered in celebration of this literal rewriting of ancestral pain passed down through the lineages. The impact was tangible. I looked across at the tear stained face of my father & felt the sacredness of this powerful moment we were sharing.

We can't always look to our fathers to teach us about some of the necessary things in life such as how to feel our emotions in a healthy way, because their fathers never taught them how.

The power really comes in when we can join as father & daughter & embark on a journey of learning together.

When I think about the journey my father & I have walked together in this lifetime, my heart swells with love & pride. I'm so incredibly proud of the people we have grown into, learning more about ourselves & leaning into discomfort in honor of transformation. I recognize the privilege of having such a close relationship to my father, one where we can share moments of sacredness, silliness, & celebration together. I celebrate the power of emotional intelligence that comes from intentional conversations, declarations, & acknowledgement. I know our ancestors celebrate this as well, for when we heal, so does our lineage & the future generations to come.

Bless your lineage.