The Gift of True Love

I stared at the piece of plastic in my hand. 'Pregnant,' it read. I had barely turned 16 and was hiding in the bathroom I shared with my two younger brothers. I was feeling a myriad of emotions--fear, happiness, love, uncertainty--were the main ones. How was I going to tell my family? my friends? the father of my baby? How would I finish school? What would my life be like now? A few weeks after this moment I was sexually assaulted and I felt like I wanted to die. But I will never forget what happened that night. My son came to see me in my dreams. He told me how much he loved me. He told me I was brave to become a mom, when so many would not approve. He thanked me for giving him a chance. And with that, I found the strength I needed. I found the one thing in life I had been needing so desperately--I found true love--in the form of an innocent child asking to be born, to bring me a life of joy. I found a best friend who shared my sense of humor, a tiny person who gave me a purpose in life. With it, we braved many dragons and monsters, both real and unreal. We fought side by side, always protecting each other, loving with all our heart and escaping to a world all our own. A world no one could enter, for it was built in our hearts and our soul. It is a world that is encircled with such a strong barricade, no weapon can pierce it or destroy it. As time goes by, our adventures increase--finding music artists we both love, experimenting with new recipes, even struggling with the same Eating Disorder, or helping each other through life's heartbreaking moments--and with each one our world only becomes stronger. My son is about to be 16 and I can hardly believe so much time has passed and that one small moment changed my life beyond anything I ever could have imagined. When he was 8 years old, our world was torn, and he was given to an unfit father who was abusive and jealous of our world. Although we have remained separated with a physical distance between us, we still escape to our world. We have still stood side by side together in the battle to survive- a daily battle of abuse, trauma and pain. We are connected through our soul—a connection, a link—that is unbreakable and cannot be severed. Instead, with each attempt to break it, to rip us apart, and annihilate our safe space within each other, this bond has only strengthened with every day we are apart. The love cannot be broken- it is one that is created in a mother’s heart from the very beginning and is so strong that she is willing to go to war for her child. He is my son, my best friend in the whole world, my confidant. Withstanding war for almost a decade now, we still fight. You cannot break us. You cannot shatter us. Because in the very small moment, when I was hiding and secretly panicking that my life would forever be changed, little did I know but my son was placing comforting thoughts in my heart even then. He has been my savior many times, more than anyone knows, because he is the only one who could save me. I am filled with so much gratitude at the many moments we have shared and the millions I know we still will. I am truly honored to have a child who showed me a world of love and peace. And I cannot wait until he is able to come back to me.