The Failures of Modern Parenting

Having been someone who had worked professionally in a child care setting for more than a decade and someone who is still working indirectly with the industry now, I’ve seen a lot over the years. This includes some of the trends in parenting. And to be quite honest, they aren’t good.

Of course, some parents are very good at the job. They work with their children on learning and social skills, manners, proper behavior and more. But sadly, quite a lot of parents really, really fall short of what they need to be doing to raise well-adjusted children to become well-adjusted adults.

One thing I’ve noticed is that this is often the case with first-time parents. And I’m not just talking about young people. It seems to be a trend regardless of age. There is frequently a tendency for the parent to want to be more like a friend to their child than an authority figure. This can manifest itself in resorting to bargaining with the child or pleading with them and offering bribes of sorts. For example, if you set a time to leave from the park and the child acts out asking for 10 more minutes and you return by saying, “OK, you can have 5,” you are already on the wrong path. Or if they are refusing to behave in a grocery store and you offer to buy them an ice cream cone if they are a good boy or girl, you are sending the wrong message.

Many parents, regardless of whether they are first-time parents or not, simply either ignore the need for discipline or flat out refuse to provide it. They may even think that raising their voice with child is overacting or going too far. Guess what, it isn’t. In fact, it’s quite necessary at times. And then you have the crowd that is completely opposed to any type of physical discipline. While nobody should ever physically abuse a child (i.e. kick, punch) there is nothing wrong or harmful about a firm but not brutal spanking. If you think there is, chances are, you are part of the problem here.

I personally know children who are younger than school age and basically have no consistent bed time. It’s simple scientific and health fact that kids need more sleep than adults. You shouldn’t have a kindergartener still up at 10 or 10:30 at night, that’s insane.

This constant caving-in to children’s wants and tantrums and not wanting to be the “bad guy” along with such intense degrees of coddling has already had a major negative impact on society. While the impact is yet to be seen as it relates to children at this current time, it is pretty obvious how it has influenced people in their late teens and twenties. And with that being the case, there is no reason to expect it will be any better unless people shape up.

Just look at our high schools and college campuses and you’ll find that a large portion of this generation is self-absorbed, unwilling to accept anyone else’s viewpoint or opinion and unable to deal with criticism in a healthy and productive way. This portion of this generation feels entitled and as if things should simply be given to them with little or no needed effort on their part. They are the young people who quit jobs because a boss legitimately reprimanded them for their mistakes or feel they need to post their every move on social media to gain validation.

I have no doubt that all of this is the direct result of poor parenting. And that’s something we as a society have to address sooner rather than later.