The divorce lawyer concluded: the biggest killer in marriage is not cheating or money, but this little thing.

One of the divorce lawyers said:

"there are not many divorces because of domestic violence, serious illness, and marriage fraud, which account for up to 10% of the total number of divorces."

Another lawyer who has handled 309 divorce cases also confessed:

"the peak period of divorce is between the ages of 30 and 35, in which women are twice as likely to divorce as men, but the main reason for divorce is not money or cheating, but the small matter of 'loneliness'."

The sweet lover was lucky enough to walk into the marriage hall. I thought that from this, my husband would sing along with his wife and bring the case to the eyebrows.

As a result, unexpectedly, the two people who should be most close to each other, with the passage of time, trivial things gradually become strange, speechless.

Women are naturally sensitive and need to talk, listen and accompany.

When her expectations are disappointed and neglected, the feeling of loneliness breeds in her heart, which often destroys her expectations for marriage.

And this will only push the marriage and the family to the brink of fragmentation.

All the discouraged

It's all accumulated over time.

One couple went to the "gold medal mediation", which was caused by the divorce of the woman.

The husband is puzzled. After nearly 30 years of marriage, he has always been loyal and responsible to his family. All the money he has earned over the years has been handed over to the family. Why does his wife suffer so much and just want a divorce?.

After a communication with the mediator on the spot, I knew:

The wife does not have a change of heart, nor does she disregard the marriage.

Instead, the husband works out of town all the year round and seldom comes home, unable to share family affairs together, not to mention the care and upbringing of the children.

In the eyes of others, she has children and a husband who can make money.

However, in her heart, she has a man like a man:

Her son was persuaded to quit by the school, so she had to come forward.

The son was hurt in the mouth by a yo-yo and had to be operated on. The husband thought it was no big deal and left it all to her.

Now that the children have grown up, they have left home one after another. she is alone in an empty house, sometimes she is not feeling well, and no one around her can pass a piece of hot water to ask for warmth.

Tell her husband how difficult it is, the husband's "you are at home" let her mood fell to the bottom of the moment, often think of is a burst of heart-wrenching pain.

Not only that, the two of them, who have been separated for a long time, live less and less on the same topic.

Even if they chatted occasionally, the desire for communication was soon extinguished by "Don't say these useless things" and "I'm not interested".

The husband's absence and thoughtlessness is like a thick wall between them.

The accumulated disappointment finally discouraged her and gave up any hope for her marriage.

Watching the wife burst into tears, I couldn't help thinking of what he Jiong said in the late Night Canteen:?

"in a relationship, the most important thing is not appearance, not bread, not even loyalty, but sharing."

How many wives and mothers just want to have sleeplessness in the middle of the night when there is someone around them who can listen to themselves and relieve the pressure in their hearts.

Or if you encounter difficulties and challenges in life, work, and raising children, your teammates can lend a hand and have some spiritual comfort.

If every time there is a need, the other half is not present, or there is no communication and sharing, how is that different from being single or divorced?

It is better to have their own peace, each chic, less expectation and less unrealistic dependence.

An unhappy mother

There is a good chance that the next generation will not be able to support happiness.

Some people may say that my mother's loneliness is enough for a person, and patience will eventually pass.

As a matter of fact, it is very difficult for a mother who is immersed in the absence of her husband and unable to communicate with her to have a cheerful and positive attitude.

Once she falls into a sad mood and unconsciously complains and complains, the children around her will certainly be infected and it will be difficult for her to be happy.

My friend A Xin has witnessed the discord between mother and father since childhood.

Father is a seaman, introverted thick lines, sometimes a sea disconnection for more than two months, never take the initiative to call home.

At that time, he was weak and sick. in order to take better care of him, his mother even quit his job as a librarian and worried about him day and night.

Although his mother accompanied him wholeheartedly, she couldn't help complaining in front of him that she had married the wrong person and didn't even have a helper around her.

Even if my father seldom came back, my mother was used to putting on a smelly face, and the two quarreled after a few words.

Over time, my father was even more reluctant to stay at home, leaving his mother to lose her temper all day, and he felt more and more that he had no father, loved no mother, was born a burden to the family, and wanted to give up on himself several times.

Now my friends are getting to understand where my mother's grievances come from.

But living in such a negative energy home, seeing his mother's loneliness and gloom, he always had a strong sense of guilt, and he dared not easily get close to others, let alone talk about his partner.

As a netizen with similar experience said:

"mothers really have too much influence on their children. emotions and attitudes have a direct impact on the child's psychological state of mind, whether they are happy or not, and how to adjust their emotions to view things. Some things cannot be measured by money and price."

It must be difficult for a mother who is full of loneliness to be happy.

Because she is always disappointed, sad, sad, angry, lack of self-worth, over time, all negative emotions will seep into the child's heart and mind.

Even if she didn't mean to do it, the child has long become an emotional receiver, and it is inevitable that she will not dare to be happy and find it difficult to be happy.

No one understands himself.

Mom wants to be her own interpreter.

A mother once asked for help online:

"as a pessimistic, negative and emotional mother, I really want to know what her child wants her mother to do."

The highly praised answer is: the mother has to grow up on her own, otherwise it will be more difficult for the child to get out of the mother's influence.

In the final analysis, life is born independent, whether it is to become a wife, mother, or in the end, only you can accompany yourself.

Instead of putting all your emotional needs in marriage and family, you should focus on yourself, love yourself, and run your own small family.

1. To yourself: care more and give up less.

Li ailing, a writer, once shared her understanding and understanding of marriage. She found that both husband and wife would go through an unspeakable sad journey after entering marriage.

Many times, two people who share the same bed are alone in their own loneliness.

What can be done at this time is not to be full of resentment, but to firmly believe:

"A man should have the strength to pull himself out of the mud by his hair."

In fact, loneliness can become a kind of self-reflection, let yourself look at yourself in silence, try to talk to yourself, and accompany yourself.

External can not give their own, then self-care, enrich their own time, learn to be kind to themselves, so as to constantly strengthen their own inner.

2. For children: more positive energy and less emotional catharsis.

Psychologist teacher Wu Zhihong said that the mother's influence on her children is great, especially the emotional influence, which will accompany her for the res