The Divine Feminine

Almost every girl grows up hoping she’ll one day bare children. We even used to play a life game called “M.A.S.H” to predict how we wanted things to be. I’ll admit, I didn’t think adult life would be this overwhelming. To think of being a mother can be even more overwhelming. Like I barely can keep up with myself, let alone me and a smaller version of me – YIKES. I am glad to have come across a few articles that educated me on a few attributes they agreed a mother should possess. I enjoyed what I read and found a lot of it intriguing, especially how we’re deeply affected by the absence of our mother. I’ll start by going over some qualities the American Training Institute International shared on their opinion of the role of a mother in a household.

The ATII is an organization that provides training to parents, the training is based on teaching the children how they can be strong in their spirit or existence. The organization suggested that the mother be a great listener. With her being a great listener, she is more capable of hearing or observing her surroundings better. They clarified the different roles of man and woman in marriage. The ATII mentioned that men are the head of the marriage, while the wife is the heart, meaning they do handle everything for the family, but they share the responsibility with the wife, through communication. I was a bit surprised to know that a woman is supposed to communicate what they feel or see with their husband. I, personally, had been doing this wrong with my partner. I would expect him to communicate what he’s feeling even though I could feel the energy. Lastly, I understood my life a bit better when they described mothers as teachers and learners.

I then went into another article that spoke further on the role mothers play in their child’s development. There were ten actions it outlined, and I feel like everything is rooted in the emotional bond a mother builds with her child. The ATII stated that a mother is more likely to win her child over by listening to the child compared to trying to understand, or trust is built based on the level of authenticity one feels with another. I found it interesting that this article classified the mother as the backbone to the family, which means she holds the responsibility of teaching the children what family means. So basically, the mother is the foundation, when she’s being compared to the heart and spine. She’s also responsible for making sure her children understand balance between work and play, knowing that you can work hard but it should be something you’re passionate about. My favorite role was defined as “Role of routine and discipline in life” and this is the mother reassuring her offspring that things flow in order, even in hard times. That’s my favorite because my grandmother, she raised me, was a woman of routine and I feel like I fight this aspect of my being.

To be thoughtful and sensitive must be the most nurturing thing you could do as a mother. One is thoughtful in how they listen, and one is sensitive in how they respond to your expressions. When your child sees you maintaining or working toward a positive attitude, they take note of that, and it has potential to be reflected in their actions. A mother is also known for observing her children’s behavior at the hint of any nonverbal communication from her child. All these factors go into the mother creating a safe environment for her child to thrive. There are certain situations where the mother leaves the children, whether that be with other family or at a government institution. I want to speak on the effects of an absent mother, in which I heavily relate.

There was researcher by the name of Grace O’Sullivan who ran test on rats to see how they react to the presence of their mother and they found that isolation was a big response mechanism. The study was focused on nociceptive responses, which is internal pain caused by external factors and a bliss hormone in the frontal lobe called, cortical anandamide. During the study, a group of rats would be away from home or their mother for about an hour before they were tested, these rats showed higher rates of isolation and lower rates of the bliss hormone. All in all, the research exposed that the presence of the mother or “dam” did have an effect on the cortical levels and isolation was a response they found in the rats during testing.

Mothers are the giver of life, that’s why there’s no way to believe we came from the rib of a man. Women have been described as the “backbone” and “heart” of relationships that lead to family. They have been given the job to nurture everything through their gentle communication. I learned valuable information about who I am as a woman. I certainly feel like I can stop trying to be a woman, because I am her already.

Bibliography

*, N. (2016, August 22). Five basic functions of a mother. Advanced Training Institute International. Retrieved October 1, 2021, from https://atii.org/five-basic-functions-mother/.

10 important roles of a mother in child development. Indiaparenting.com. (n.d.). Retrieved October 2, 2021, from https://www.indiaparenting.com/child-development/262_6626/10-important-roles-of-a-mother-in-child-development.html.

O’Sullivan, G., Humphrey, R. M., Thornton, A. M., Kerr, D. M., McGuire, B. E., Caes, L., & Roche, M. (2020, May 30). Maternal presence or absence alters nociceptive responding and cortical anandamide levels in juvenile female rats. Behavioural Brain Research. Retrieved October 2, 2021, from https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0166432820304113.