The Death of My Mother

My mother went through hell and back and just wish all that pain and suffering that the Lord didn’t have to take her so early. I miss her every day.

I wish she could have seen me getting married. I wish she could have watched her grandkids grow up. I feel like she missed out on so much, but she at least has my dad up there with her now and she is not lonely.

My mother had me when she was 25. Then after having me she was diagnosed with breast cancer. This was back in around 1975 or the early ‘80s’. During that time they had no idea of the dangers of the older breast implants they were using. My mother had to have both her breasts removed from cancer. Imagine being in your late 20’s or early 30’s and having no breasts. Don’t think she felt much like a woman with that happening.

I was of course too young to know when she exactly got the breast implants put in but I do know all the issues they had caused her. In her mid 30’s she had to have a hysterectomy. Then from what I heard she had a few more surgeries after that. 11 surgeries in all. I do not know all sorry, I was young and by the time I should have really asked and gotten to know what could be a part of my history too, it was too late. She did beat breast cancer though.

I know the breast implants leaked into her body. Causing her to be put on oxygen because it went into her lungs. So that was another surgery to have both the implants to be removed.

So she still wanted some way to feel like a woman. So another surgery to take some of the fat from her stomach and add it up where her breast should be. Made it look like she had something there. They just couldn’t add the nipple. (sorry men, and whomever this may be too much for).

She was getting sicker and sicker and then at 45, she gets a huge needle that took fluids from her lower back to her spine to test it. She screamed and cried during this procedure. I had to watch them do this to her and no matter what I said they claim this is how it is done, and she will feel it. ( the second time she had to get it done it didn’t hurt at all, they did something wrong that first time)

She had been positive for another cancer, bone marrow cancer. This one she could not overcome like breast cancer. In and out of the hospital. Went into a coma-like state where she was not there. I lived out of town and drove every time she ended up in these coma-like states.

46 was all her body could take on this earth. Her body went through so much and that was it. My father had to be without her for many years before he finally passed. Around 10 years. But they are back together again.

This was one death that was I think a little easier to deal with than any others even my father’s. I hated seeing her go through so much pain. So many hospitals stays, needles, meds. Of course, I miss her, wish I had my mother here to talk to when things go wrong. But I am happy she is finally out of pain. No more cancer for her. No more hospitals. No more meds to take. Pain-free watching over her family.

The only thing that scares me in life now… besides my deteriorating back, I am very healthy, but I just turned 46.