The daughter you made

There are so many things in life that seem a little... overwhelming, to say the least. Life is kind of uncomfortable to get through and it's not always the easiest journey to embark upon, but during those bumpy roads, I am so glad that I have the mom that I do. Well, all of my parents (I have 3 in total) really, but this one is just for my mama.

I have to give a lot of thanks to the person I've become because my mother really did help shape this woman before you all. I love all of her lessons and advice, even though her ways can be misunderstood by many. I could always relate to her. Well, for the most part, anyway.

~Hate is a bad word!~

In our household, growing up, hate was considered a bad word. There was just so much ugly energy attached to it that my mama didn't want to hear it coming out of our mouths. I'm actually grateful about this now because I don't have such an ugly word listed in my vocabulary.

~Love is always the answer~

Now, this was a big one! Anytime someone really got to me and made me bothered or angry, it always came back to love. Whether it was a boss, an ex, a sibling, or anyone else (even a complete stranger), my mama always taught me that everyone on this planet holds beauty and when we get really upset by others, that's when you need to seek it out the most. Love those around you and treat them how you want to be treated. That is the best way to get through those uncomfortable feelings! I was always taught to be loving toward everyone.

~If you make a mess, clean up after yourself.~

This one is something that I think most moms instill within their young. If you live with others, that's uncomfortable to do to someone else, but it's a good habit to get into, even if you live by yourself. Critters are only sometimes cute on TV. You don't want them on your countertop!

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The other side of this coin is just in life. We all make mistakes sometimes and at other times we can hurt people, whether that was our intention at the time or not. It's always best to take responsibility for my actions and make things right when I needed to. Even if I had a big ol' mess that I needed to clean up, my mom wasn't too far away. She was always ready to help me when she could.

~Everyone is beautiful!~

I know that I already mentioned this earlier, but it was such a big thing to understand in my household that I think it deserves a little extra attention. No matter where we were or what we were doing, my mom would always do these silly exercises with me. Sometimes, we'd point out people's beautiful traits to each other and sometimes we'd imagine every person sitting in traffic next to us, in their own respective vehicles was a facet of us during some other time. She always had a way of making me feel like everyone is me and I am everyone. Looking at it in that way really does make it hard to be judgemental or harsh to my fellow humans.

~Laughter is Key!~

We lived in a noisy household with laughter bellowing out of all of us very often. Keeping the laughter alive was always one of my favorite things to do. He who laughs, well, lasts. And, my goodness, my mother is hilarious! I mean, you have to be prepared for her humor because sometimes it's a little out there. You wouldn't always suspect a mom would come up with half the stuff that comes out of her head.

~Musical Life? Oh, yes, quite possible, indeed!~

My mother and I, we've shared many good moments with each other. Throughout my life, we've literally sung our conversations together. It could've been something simple, like a normal question. It could've been something strange we experienced that day. It could've been a love song to one another. Whatever it was, she was always an amazing duet partner to have. I will always cherish those moments with her. Even though we live in different states now, I still talk to her all the time on the phone and, to this day, we'll still sing to each other sometimes. It's the best! But, honestly, what's even better than that is that I now have a similar relationship with my own child (he's almost four) where he will sing his words back to me sometimes.

Also, as a side note I just have to mention here, the other day when I was making dinner he was dancing in the kitchen (to no music) while looking at his reflection in the oven door and singing to himself, pointing at his reflection, "I can't believe this, I can't believe this, I love you, I love you, I love you!" He was singing at the top of his lungs while I was cutting vegetables. He's the absolute cutest little human I've ever encountered. (I'm aware that there are a ton of adorable children in the world, but this mom can't help, but gush from time to time.)

-Love yourself always. It's the only way that you can really love others.~

This was always something I did my best to pay attention to. Even when I was a teenager or a young adult and putting myself down a lot, I would always try loving myself.

In general, I'm a very loving person. Whether it was family, a partner, a friend, or even a complete stranger, passing out care and kindness was always important to me. I think everyone deserves that energy in their lives. People deserve good friends, they deserve to be in a good relationship, they deserve caring and sweet children, or parents, and so, I always wanted to give it my fullest efforts to make others aware of how much they deserve it, how easy it is for me to do and that I think they're all so amazing. I want this to be common knowledge. I want them to feel comforted by knowing that someone will always have their back.

But I can't love anyone if I don't love myself? A little mind-blowing, right?

So, even in times where I was really low, I wanted to get better so that I can love everyone fully. I know that sounds silly, but it worked. It got me on the track to loving myself and I'm so glad it did.

Because truth be told, I'm pretty awesome :)

~Jealousy doesn't equal love.~

Another great lesson taught by my amazing mom. Jealousy comes from a darker place filled with harmful thoughts (even if it's just you that you're hurting) and love is bright, joyous energy.

I'm not really religious, but it even says so in the bible, which my mother showed me the exact spot (I don't remember what page it was on though). It literally describes what love is and, even though I don't stand behind Christianity's entire belief system, I do agree with this point.

Some people have gotten it into their heads that 'if he/ she cares about me, they'll get mad that so and so talked to me or looked my way', etc. That's not really how it is. Love is pure, not vengeful or angry.

The moment this was taught to me was the moment I stopped allowing myself to get jealous. I never worried if there was another girl present or if someone told me that my boyfriend at the time was good-looking. In fact, I took it as a compliment. She sees exactly what I see. We think alike and, you know what? That is a totally okay thing to happen. I don't want people to be repulsed by my partner or think badly of him. I mean, who would?

I will, however, mention that it does bother me when someone is aware of my relationship and she still tries to get him or steal him from me. That's just dirty and disrespectful. I mean, I have faith in my partner to not lean in toward it (and if he were to, I would take that as a sign), but it's just a mean thing for a woman to do to another woman, you know? Like we should all just respect and support each other.

But she doesn't make me jealous. haha

~Lastly, there is nothing quite like a mother's love~

This one is my favorite! My mother was always and still is so special to me. Her love has always comforted me. She's always been there to hold me, to laugh with me, to give me hope and optimism. I am currently 31 years old and I can proudly still call her mom to this day (even through my rowdy teenage years). She's given me light, love, and she taught me to believe in myself. Every single day, I am so grateful to be able to call her mom. She's the one that can get me out of my funk and help me feel grounded again.

The conversations with her have been heartfelt, silly, and deep. She is the perfect mom for me. I fully believe that I chose her because life would not be the same without her here. She sends positive, good-vibe energy my way on the daily. I am this amazing person that I thoroughly enjoy being because of her. I mean, I am my own person, too, but her guidance and parenting definitely helped shape me.

Now, I am a mom, myself and I see the other side of things. I understand how she was able to flow me so much love even though she had four other kids. I understand how easy it was for her to lift me up when I felt too weak to even try. Being a mom, you know how amazing your children are and that there really is nothing that they can't no, there is no barrier too great for them to overcome, there will never be a monster big enough that can keep them down because they are all the best parts of you and so much more.

{There is, of course, more lessons in which she taught me, but I'd be writing for a looooooooooong time, I was to try to get it all down. haha.}

So, thank you, Mom, for shaping me into a kickass person and the mother that my child needs. I am so grateful that I was able to grow up, having you for a role model. You're absolutely, stunningly beautiful in so many ways. I love you with all my heart.

Thank you, everyone, so much for reading this. If you enjoyed my writings all about my mama and me, please, consider hearting my story, and (though never required) tipping is also always greatly appreciated.