The child has these signs that he is having a psychological breakdown. (communication method attached)

Do you have such a friend around you?

After being aggrieved, you may be so angry that you want to scold others, but they seem to have nothing wrong.

I feel like I have a good temper.

Do these good-tempered people really have no temper?

We often encounter such children who dare not cry in front of their parents and always live cautiously.

He is often praised for being obedient, obedient and good-tempered.

It is really a good thing to have a child with a good character.

But there are also many children who show that their behavior is not what they really want.

If children have such a "good temper", parents should be careful.

I once saw a case of psychological counseling.

A boy who had just graduated from college felt as if he was depressed and found a counselor.

He said that every time he cried, he felt very bad.

Because in his impression, crying is a very bad thing, parents are not allowed to cry.

As soon as he cried, his father would stare at him and say, "Don't cry!" Stop right now, or I'll hit you! "

In order to avoid further infuriating his father, he had no choice but to wipe away his tears and stop.

Although the mother will not be so angry, but she is afraid that her father will lose her temper, so she will quickly pull away her son and persuade her not to cry.

Every time I heard my father murmur, "what's the use of crying? I don't know who I'm like."

In order to make parents more satisfied with themselves, perhaps because they are afraid of their father, they dare not cry every time they get angry.

I couldn't help but hide alone and quietly remove the toy, or I was depressed all the time and unhappy for several days.

Later, when I was in high school, I went home less often, so I tried not to go home.

But inside, I want to be close to my parents.

When I got to college, I thought I would be better, so I didn't have to look at my parents' faces.

But I found that I especially care about the eyes of my classmates.

Always afraid of being unpopular, and even go out of his way to please his roommate.

But the end result is that I don't have a heart-to-heart friend, and I feel like I'm a failure.

Slowly, I became a loner and didn't want to associate with others.

If children are careful to hide their emotions in front of you, they must pay attention to them.

In a healthy family environment, children should be able to express their emotions easily.

Be able to speak freely with your parents, express your ideas freely and share your experiences.

If the child shuts up and hides his emotions.

Then they are prone to "self-attack".

If a person's emotions cannot be recognized or released, he will deny himself.

Psychology points out that if a child is prone to depression, it often stems from the fact that the child's emotions cannot be conveyed to the outside world and can only attack himself.

Why can't children express themselves to the outside?

Because I'm afraid, because I can't get a response, I can't even find someone to express, and I don't know who to talk to.

Too many of our children report the good news but not the bad news and dare not express their negative feelings to their parents.

I will often chat with Xiaoyu while walking, and often talk to him about school life, so that I can get to know him better and help him.

Once he said that some students in the class answered questions in an open class, and the teacher praised them, but some other students whispered that the students who answered the questions were too flamboyant, what a big deal.

I said to him, "in fact, you are all making a small fuss now, and you are not sensible yet." When you come to middle school, you will find that some students will be squeezed and bullied by some children who do not like reading because of their good grades and good performance. "

"then I won't study when I get to high school, and my grades won't be good." I didn't expect him to say this to me, which surprised me a little.

"you can't give up your dream just because of other people's eyes, just because you don't want to go to a good high school and a good university," I said.

"I know you're afraid of such a situation, but there's nothing to be afraid of."

"in fact, even if something like this happens to you in the future, you can tell me that Dad will help you figure out a way, even if Dad can't do it, you can still find a way." I added.

Hearing me say this, he nodded and took my hand, feeling full of sense of security.

In fact, listening to some children sometimes sounds a little childish, but we can hear their thoughts and feel their emotions.

Only when we really go into the heart of the child, can we better guide the child.

If you hear your child say that he will not study hard in middle school in the future.

He hurriedly taught him a lesson, scolded him, and warned him to study hard.

If you do this, maybe the child will no longer tell you what's on his mind.

Because the result they get is blame, not understanding.

Instead of getting sense of security and how to deal with it, it was a sermon.

So, usually talk to your children more often.

Let them speak their hearts and express their true feelings.

And we should take an attitude of understanding and tolerance.

Of course, we can't let our children lose their temper.

Instead, children should be guided to express their emotions and manage them.

If there are emotional problems, we can calm down first.

Try to communicate with your child in the following three sentences.

1. I know how you feel. You are angry now. Let's calm down and have a good talk.

If we talk to our children for a long time, they won't listen and even lose their temper at you angrily.

It's easy to infuriate your parents, and if you lose your temper at this time, things will only get worse.

In a rage, it is easy to hurt people.

If you can calm down for a while, and then communicate, the effect will be better.

So when parents can take the initiative to tell their children, when I can understand your feelings, the children will often let go of the confrontation and be willing to listen to you.

And then we'll have a chance to talk.

two。 You are very angry, you can lose your temper, but you can't hurt anyone. You should be prudent in what you do and say.

When the child is angry, tell the child that if you are angry, let it out.

If you're sad, cry, it's okay.

You can also take a few strokes at the pillow or stomp your feet.

Because when the children's emotions are released, they will become relaxed and recover.

But also tell the child not to hurt others, to be measured.

Sometimes children punch and kick adults as soon as they get angry, which must be guided as soon as possible.

If someone in the family spoils the child like this, it will only hurt him.

It has become a habit to hit people because they are angry. When they leave the house and go outside or at school, it is easy for children to fight because of disputes.

In the class where a friend teaches, there is a boy who often fights with his classmates because of disputes, and every time he roars, loses his temper, and scratches his classmates' faces several times.

When communicating with the parents of both sides, she will find it difficult for the boy's mother to communicate. She always feels that her child has been beaten and bullied by other children, and there is no need to apologize.

And he was so emotional that it was almost impossible to continue to communicate.

The root of the problem with this child lies in the mother.

Because she didn't tell the child how to communicate with her classmates in case of an argument, instead of losing her temper and fighting.

3. You tell me what you think. I'd like to hear it. I can discuss it even if I disagree.

Children often feel that their parents cannot hear their own words and do not respect their own opinions, so they simply do everything against them.

If you tell him, I am willing to listen, when you talk about it, they will