The change was fast.

COVID-19 has provided me with the opportunity to reflect in my life to see where I am now, why I am where I am. Quarantine helps me to think about what I can do now to put myself in a better position. I reflect on why I do things the way I did, what was working and what was not working. While I reflect, I look at one of the largest life events that has changed my life forever. One of the biggest life events was my mother's death when I was aged 13. Just after I woke up on a Monday morning in Belize City, I showered and did my everyday routine and got ready for school. I brushed my teeth, ironed my uniform, and then dressed while my brother took a shower as well.

After showering my brother put on his clothes and went to help my father give my mother a bath because she was paralyzed. My mother was disable after a stroke and a C section of my premature 6-month sister. As my brother and father walked to the bathroom, my mother passed out and had the first attempt of death. On the floor she stops breathing and I hear my brother and father calling her name trying to bring her back. I ran outside and witnessed my mother pass out. Five minutes later she revived and saw me crying with my uniform on; she said, “go get your bag and go to school and take care of you and Viony”. Viony is my mother's younger sister's name, but I do know she was very confused with her premature newborn name Lovely with Viony all the time. I suppose she was referring to my younger sister Lovely. That was the last word my mother said to me, the last time she saw me cry and know she raised a strong woman. While she told me her last word, she looked into my eyes in ways she never did before, and it was like she knew I would be fine. I found out she died while in school after she made me go to school, after seeing her pass out, and the story went like this; I had been at school for two hours when my teacher Miss Bank said to me, “ Come out.” I walked outside and the principal looked at me and said, “ You’ve got to go home.” they never said why, I got curious and asked why, they just told me my father and brother needs me. I walked home and arrived home with my brother and father crying. They directed me to my mother’s bed, and I saw her with her eyes open but pass. They allow me to see my mother the way she passes before they change her clothes and close her eyes. I did not know what is next, what I will be getting into and the responsibility behind it. I did not like to cook or do a certain home chore at home. I was just shocked, went blank for a while, then started thinking and wondering what is next. I can go on and on about what I was thinking. But what was more important to me was to focus on the now, the changes and the future. My life changed into being an adult doing adult work while looking like a child and having a child age. I was in the position to grow fast with no choice. Although I had support, I got to still do some teenage and young people activities.

The Future of Lucnalie

The life changing had shaped me into the person I am today. It also shaped what choices I made from the last 10 years, and more new choices to take. This is the reason I went to Umass. It is the reason it takes me a little bit longer to finish school than some students. Lastly, the reason I’m a speaker. to book click this link and book now. This is still affecting me today because my mother passed away 2 months after having a C section with my younger sister. A C section was the only way to save my younger sister Lovely who is now 10 years old. My sister is my biggest motivation whether I have access to her or not. My younger brother is also one of my reasons for being whether I have access to him or not. I know that you can influence anything and anybody anywhere, it does not have to be direct, it can be both direct and indirect. You also never know who is watching and who you are helping. Therefore, I am thankful for where I came from and where I am going. Taking the time to reflect during COVID-19 not only benefits me but also inspires others.

I hope this reflection can influence and encourage someone today. While it also influences me to become a more responsible and self-motivated person. In addition, this reflection helped me stand for myself and others. Every time I think about giving up on education, I remember the last sentence my mother said before her death. Despite all the struggle and tragedy, I realize my mother was raising a leader regardless if she was alive to see the result or not. My mother would make sure we have a strong base and understanding life which I do. This strong base is the reason I am not doing what I grew up seeing in my neighborhood in Brockton Massachusetts. It also helps me to become this person that I am today and the wise young lady that you will get to know on this platform. My mother’s death also led me to become a foster child one year later after lending to America with all my siblings from Belize.

Story will continue. I invite you to come back to learn more. Thank you once again.

By, Lucnalie Jironvil