The Canvas Bag Battle

I walked into the store not wanting to spend an arm and a leg. The week before, I was eying beautiful purses ranging in colors like pink, yellow, and bright blue. I would look at the price and see that even though they’re affordable, I knew they weren't functional for my stage of life. Or it would be the opposite, maybe I loved a bag but the price would be too much. My first diaper bag was a 40-dollar bag from Target. It looked beautiful with many pockets. Yeah… it lasted about a year. Then the pockets ripped open and as my baby got older into toddlerhood, she needed less of the diaper bag. However, I still I needed a bag that would fit a diaper, deodorant, coloring crayons, a board book, and my planner without being extremely bulky. Oh! I also needed it to be comfortable to carry, like a crossbody bag. Pretty much an impossible goal. I needed it to last. I was at my wits end switching purses, having receipts, and diapers fall out.

As I walk into Hobby Lobby, knowing the section I needed to go to, the voices began filling my thoughts: "this is rock bottom, you're a 25 year old woman, you can't possibly be shopping for purses here." I tune the voices out and head down towards the isle that I know might solve all of my problems. They had a few, a big sturdy tote bag and canvasing purses. I remember from high school, canvasing bags were popular amongst people who loved painting and drawing. Even though I wasn't an artist, I was a mother that also is having a second baby. I needed something to last me through the baby and toddler years. Those bags, I knew from one glance were perfect. Lots of pockets, space and they can be carried in multiple ways. The thought of never having to switch bags again filled my mind. The idea that I could work with a blank and simple slate and just make it what I wanted it to be was far too tempting. Even though… style wasn’t really in the picture anymore.

Don’t get me wrong. I love having cute purses, I love having them match certain outfits and all that. Sometimes though, as adults we gotta be okay that life has phases. It’s okay for us to have to categorize things and work with that. The reality is I can’t have it all. I can’t have it be super fashionable, affordable, while meeting all of my mommy priorities. Life just isn’t that way. It’s okay that I breakout the cute purses on special occasions even though most of my days I’m carrying something functional fitting my current phase of life.

As I walked out with an order for the tote bag and a new canvas bag in tow, I knew, at the very least, the tote was gonna get a few looks. It's not a standard diaper bag. However, it's not bulky, enormous, or stressful. Both bags are meant to last because they were built for people who needed it TO last. The canvas bag is meant to carry big pads, books and paint. Those are bulky, heavy things. Well...so is mom life. Mom life is bulky, weighty, and in desperate need for sturdiness.

It's been weeks since I've purchased both bags. I use them daily. Have I gotten compliments on them? Nope. Will I? Probably not. But that's not what matters. What matters is less bags on the hook to choose from, less tears and holes in the so called classic "diaper bag". My life is full. My brain space is full. I've gotten rid of some decision fatigue in making this durable investment. I suppose that's what a mom and an artist have in common, the need for things to be held together... well.