The Box

The Box

Death. Dying. Die. Dead. I was thinking of all the ways you can use the word die as I walked around this rather bleak church that we occasionally visited if my grandmother guilt trip my parents to come. It was so easy to say, so easy to think about. Death. Dying. Dead. My mother and father are dead. My mother and father have died. My mother and father have experienced death. My English teacher, Miss. Rowley, would be so proud of all the ways I could use die in somewhat complete and captivating sentences.

I wasn’t sure if I was angry at God, for obvious reasons, he took my two best friends away from me, without my permission. Or if I was more annoyed with myself because the days leading up to their, rather unexpected death, I was a complete butthole to them both. Isn’t that everyone’s biggest fear, having regrets for something you couldn’t get another chance to change. Oh, how I would tell them how much I loved them and how much I needed them still, to talk to me like an adult to get to the bottom of our problems. Or when they help me with the chores because it’s a family’s mess not just one person. The way they included me in adult conversations about classical art or the stocks, that made no sense to me, but the inclusion made me feel vital.

Now, I was excluded, even if the conversations revolved around the death of my parents. The once inclusive talks, hushed as I walked into the backroom where the reception was to take place. They instead replaced the somber chats with grievances and tight, uncomfortable smiles. I hated funerals, especially when the people in the caskets were crucial to your future. Did I even have a future anymore? Well, of course I did but would I be able to go through with it. Was I not supposed to get a game plan of how all this was to go down? Did I not deserve a warning to hug my parents a little tighter the last time I saw them, instead of rushing to go to my friend Emily’s house because I was too annoyed to be bothered with them. Regrets tortured me. Thinking of all the things I could’ve done better brought tears to my eyes, but I wouldn’t let them see me cry, I couldn’t, or else they’d swarm around me like moths to a flame.

“Are you Talitha?” Someone grabbed my arm, and in my dazed and overly critical state, I turned to see a woman wearing bulky dark sunglasses in the middle of fall and an oversized hat hanging off her head. She was much taller than me, and quite thin disregarding a furry animal resting on her shoulders. Was she here for the funeral or photoshoot? I simply nodded my head, not sure who or where this eccentric woman came from, but my brain still beckoning for me to wallow in my many regrets. “Come with me. I know the timing is pretty shit to be taking you away from something so… important, but you must come with me. I promise it’s for your better.” she said hesitantly. Did she not think the death of my parents was “important?” And how would this lady know what’s better for me?

Before I could object, she was dragging me out of the sad reception, walking past the disheartening scene of the two closed caskets, and down the aisles of the unkept pews.

“Wait!” We both came to an abrupt stop, right at the double doors, I was hoping someone was noticing I was being kidnapped. I peeped from behind the tall lady, who was hauling me along, to see my grandmother, eyes pouring down tears. She been crying the past few days, wailing and moaning, maybe she knew I was going to get kidnapped today too. She pushed the lady aside in front of me and attacked me with a rigid hug, almost snatching the air from my lungs.

“I love you so much! You are going to achieve great, great things Talitha. Your parents are going to be so proud of you, my angel!” She said all this, through sobs and half breaths. I hugged her back even tighter, I felt like I was being shipped off to some asylum for kids with no parents, but I wasn’t going to have any more regrets.

“I love you even more grandma.” I stated, kissing her cheeks like my mom did when she would hug her.

“Alright Mom, I understand the situation, but we have to go. She’s not leaving you forever.” The tall woman declared, in a rather cold way. Mom? I wasn’t sure if my never-ending regrets were rising to the surface again or did this tall woman, say mom…? Meaning my grandma had another daughter, my mom had a sister? My mind went into overload as thoughts swarmed my already depleted brain.

Grandma unhinged her tight grip on me, and I was being dragged, once again, out of the church into an equally depressing day outside. The clouds camouflaged the sky in concrete grey blankets and the snow fell in heavier deposits. I gripped the lady’s hand a little tighter now, seeing how she had some estranged connection with my mom, and I was desperate for any closure, even if from a stranger. A bald gentleman in a suit opened the door to a perfectly lavish car, sleeked and shiny, glazed with thin layer of snow. It stuck out like a sore thumb compared to the barely functioning cars in lining the sidewalk. His smile was grand and slightly creepy, but welcoming and good hearted, nonetheless. I had no choice but smile back. I hopped in the backseat and the door closed on me. The tall lady and the man were chatting outside the car, and I took the time to examine my rather costly kidnapping.

The car was exceptionally clean, with a dark interior, even had a new car smell. The door opened and the tall lady settled in the car next to me, she didn’t have the poor animal weighing on her shoulders anymore. She was like a model, and her all black attire only made her look thinner and alluring. She snatched the ridiculous hat and silly glasses off so now I was able to fully appreciate her beauty. It was as if she realized who she was and that I was in the car with her, a soft smile played on her lips. The car started and we were driving away from the shabby church.

“I am Jal, your mother’s younger and only sister. She refused to let me have any connection with you while she was alive, because of the rather annoying expectations you are to withhold in this lifetime." She stated, I wasnt sure if this was a joke that tied into the funeral or if she was actually serious. And was my grandma aware of all this taken place in this kidnapping? Obviously Jal wasnt playing around because a line drew right across her lips. "Your parent’s death was no accident, which deeply saddens me to say, but we are blessed to still have you. The offspring of pure intelligence to change the world.” Jal confirmed, a small smile crept on the side of her lips, as she pulled out a small brown box from inside her way-too-big hat and handing it to me.

I took it and opened it slowly, somewhat nervous, revealing a blue transparent pill nesting cozy inside the box. A kidnapping that would turn into me being drugged, laying on the side of the road. The possibility of leaving this doomed Earth and going with my parents to Neverland tempted me, there was no need for her to say more. I was convinced.

“Regardless of what you choose, I have taken the responsibility of your well-being and future upon myself. That pill has been created in a lab, it will bring no harm to you, but it has been genetically engineered to erase specific memories of your parents, so you will know nothing of the numbing pains or regrets of their death. My husband and I will fulfill the role of your parents, allowing you a clean slate for a new life. Or you could retain your memory of this event and use it as fuel to avenge your parents, which you are more than capable of doing with some extended training." My biggest fear, having the choice and not making the right one, I already had so many regrets to dig through and now I would have to decide wether to turn into some bloodhungry savage or live a fairytale life with my newfound aunt.

"Talitha, this is no fairytale," Jal continue, clearly unaware of the many disturbing thoughts invading my mind. "And I fully apologize for the rush on things, but we do not have much time, so I hope you are understanding. You have full control and choice, as a God given right, to your future. Please choose wisely.”