The Boss of all Mums

History of ass kickery

History is full of badass mums and some you may never have heard of. From Angela Cavello: The Supermum who lifted a 3500lb car off her son after the jack gave way and collapsed on him, to Ann Jarvis: The mum that inspired Mothers Day during the Cival War, with her kind heart and ability to care for both sides when they were wounded. And, not all badass mums are human either. Sai Mai, was a Bengal Tigress from Thailand who swapped her fierce hunting instinct for a mothers instinct when she suckled and cared for 6 piglets and many other 'cubs' over the course of her time at Sriracha Tiger Zoo.

All of these mums have earned the title 'Badass Mum' in one way or another and in a way, we all have a story to tell that makes us a badass mum too or someone we know. My story could start several generations back, with my Great Nan: Vera Grazier. A strong minded and soft hearted woman with a passion for caring for her family and a mouth to equally stick up for what was right. She lived her life, be it hard at time, with poise, elegance and honesty. She never swore, she rarely (if ever) physically disciplined her children and she was a saviour to her grandchildren in times of hardship. Vera Grazier set an example to mums in my family to always be and do better. From wash days that lead to cracking hands to daily walks with her beloved dog, no matter the state of her feet. She showed willpower, love and kindness and did so until the end. Unfortunately, I never got the chance to meet this magnificent woman. She died on April 1st 1991: 2 months before I was born. My nan was angry, my mum was angry. A mother and a grandmother taken too soon. And so the beginning of ass kickery begins in my family history.

My Nan

It's no secret in our family, my nan is not like any other nan. She wears 'trendy' clothes (many of which I 'stole' as a child), drove a soft top MG in her 50's, still frequently puts bright colours in her hair and is never afraid to get up and make a fool of herself for a room of laughs. Her early years of mother hood were far from easy and often tested her. She (as many of us can be) was at times, a stickler for punishment after staying with a man for several years who cheated his way through their early marriage, (All is well now, they 'made up' and moved on). After another blow to the marriage and my grandfather leaving my nan for another woman, she became alone with two children. One was a kind, honest young girl that had to grow up way too fast and the other was a lost, naughty younger boy who never had his dad around long enough to teach him wrong from right. It's safe to say my nan was not the most switched on to the 'activities' her children participated in and/or she didn't know how to stop them.

As the years went by and my nans children turned into mums and dads themselves, my nan changed. She became stronger, very loyal and a mum that my mum wouldn't be able to live without. I had a very strong relationship with my nan as a child and I would spend most weekends and holidays with her. She is a very loyal mum and will put herself out to help you with anything you need. She has been a saviour to my mum in recent years and will no doubt continue to be until the very end.

And she gave me the boss of all mum bosses. My Mum.

My Mum: The Boss of all badass mums

I don't even know where to begin with my mum. She was a boss even before she became a mum and a person whom all young girls should look up to. She suffered the unwanted attention of (to put it politely) a real piece of shit when she was only a young girl, she then received beatings from a boyfriend in her late teens, followed by mental abuse from another when she had me. After all of this she still managed to get out, she didn't stay because she was strong and we moved into a refuge. Of course, at the time I was just a baby so I don't remember these times. But, I always listened to the stories as I wanted to know how my mum was so strong.

As the years went by, after being moved into a little house in a busy council estate, my mum was finally free of the 'suppression' men had tried to put on her and became the fierce and often fearsome boss woman she is today. Never again did a man raise his hand and very rarely even his voice to her again. She became my idol and reason for why I too today am a 'badass mum'.

AS

After several years of suppression and fear over her life and mentality, my mums freedom was no doubt a blessing to see from anyone that knew her. Of course, I need to take this moment to point out she was never a mouse. She always stood up for herself and she didn't back down. No matter how hard she got hit or how much she got put down. But, the freedom was welcomed and celebrated by all.

But then, just as my mum starts to get the life she deserved, another spiteful bastard came knocking; knocking in the form of AS: Ankylosing Spondylitis, a type of arthritis in which there is a long-term inflammation of the joints of the spine. Typically the joints where the spine joins the pelvis are also affected. Occasionally other joints such as the shoulders or hips are involved. Eye and bowel problems may also occur.

Although my Mum wasn't diagnosed with AS for several years, the problems still occured very young. Both my mother and I have been diagnosed with the gene defect: Hla B27, a greater-than-average risk for developing or having certain autoimmune disorders. An autoimmune disorder is a condition that occurs when the immune system mistakenly attacks and destroys healthy body tissue.

In connection with Hla B27 comes AS. 80% of people that are diagnosed with AS have the gene defect HLA B27. In contrast however, only 8% of people with HLA B27 go on to develop AS. My Mum happened to be one of the unlucky few. Yet, still she carried on like a boss.

Tens of tests, doctors visit, hospital visits, scans and even legal proceedings surrounding my mums illness finally got her listened to. She's 50 years old now and suffers tremendously every day. The vertabrae in her back has worn away and also in her neck. This causes the bones to 'fuse', a common occurance with AS. She used to be 5ft 2 but she is now only 4ft 10 (and a bit she likes to point out). This is due to the way her spine has 'shortened' due to fusing. And I say again, still she carries on like a boss.

The Pain won't stop this boss

Everyday my mum demonstrates why she is the boss of all badass mums. She loves, she lives, she is helpfull, kind, honest, fierce, selfless and then some. She will help anybody that shows her loyalty and she will love you unconditionally if you show her loyalty and love too. I don't live with my mum anymore, I have my own family now, my own health issues and my own problems. But, I wish I did. I wish I could make her day just that little easier everyday and do her work dor her. I wish those doctors had listened to her cries when she was younger, so maybe the fusing of her vertabrae could have been avoided. I wish she was less stubborn and would ask for more help. I would take all of her pain on top of my own, just so she could have an easy end life. Her life has been hard, difficult and yes she will tell you, in many ways rewarding. But yet, in spite of all of the pain, the suppression, the beatings, the mental torture, the hard upbringing, the loved ones leaving too soon and the unwanted attention from a predator, she still holds herself everyday with poise, honesty and intergrity: just like my Great Nan, just like a true boss mum.

She has passed those traits on to me and everyday and try to do my best to help pass them on to my daughter too. I am 30 in June and a mum to an 11 year old beautiful, smart (pain in the ass) but I love her. Her quick wit and cheek makes me smile with pride. I run my own online business and I'm looking to continue you this is a shop soon. I write online several times a week and I look after my home, my partner, my daughter, 2 cats, 1 dog, 18 fish and a frog, nearly all on my own while fighting with my own troubles with inflammatation and another unfortunate diagnosis of Factor V Leiden. I do my best to stay kind, loving, selfless and honest while always making sure my loved ones know how much I appreciate them. This is because of the influence of my mum.

A true Boss Mum. My Badass Mum.

Thank you very much for taking the time to read my work. Your support is what keeps me going and pushes me to write more everyday.

If you're feeling extra giving today, how about showing some love and maybe even giving a tip.