The Best Things Come in Three's

In my life I am blessed to have three strong, loving women who have each played the motherly role in my life. They are very different from one another but each of them serves a very specific purpose in my life. One of them is still here on the Earthly plane but the other two have transitioned beyond the confines of this word. Those two, I still feel around me every day. Especially on those days when I am struggling the most.

The first woman is my actual mother. The one who gave birth to me and dealt with my bratty attitude day in and day out. My mom taught me many life lessons but most of them I did not appreciate until after I had my own kids. It’s funny how that works. I think it’s because we don’t realize how hard being a parent is until we have our own ungrateful teenagers. The most significant lesson she taught me was to be strong and positive for your children no matter what is going on in life. My mom never showed how upset she was and that she didn’t know what to do. As a child and teen, I thought we had the perfect life. My mom would go around singing and doing housework. Making it look like she actually enjoyed it!

I never saw her get angry at my father and rarely heard them argue. If they did argue she would just laugh and say, "it will be alright, God must have another plan for us". I was given the gift of a care free childhood and didn’t recognize all the hard work that was required to create that feeling. Now I have a deep understanding of just how difficult that must have been for her. That realization came after I experienced life. I was pregnant and trying to make dinner. While I was holding a screaming two-year-old and arguing with my husband, it hit me. It hit me hard, like a ton of bricks. My mom set aside her worries and frustrations to make sure we had a secure and calm childhood. It was in that moment that it dawned on me just how strong my mom is and how much she wanted us to enjoy our childhood. Her influence shaped the way I behave around my children. I try to focus on the positive when they are around. It is not easy but it does come easier looking back at how effortlessly my mom made it look. I am thankful to her every day for giving me a childhood filled with joy and love. Her outlook on life is what I hold dear and still carry with me today. The outlook that no matter how gloomy today is, “The sun will come out tomorrow”. (The Musical Anne)

The other mother figure I have in my life is with me only in spirit at this time. My paternal grandma was not just my grandma but she was truly my best friend. When I was born, she was 70 years old. She was worried because she thought I would not like her because she was ‘too old to have fun”. To combat this fear, she went out of her way to create fun. I enjoyed every minute I got to spend with her. She made everything into a game. Even the most mundane of chores, somehow, she made memorable and fun. The most significant lesson she taught me was the importance of having fun even when others think your “too old” for it. I still believe today that you are only as old as you feel and I never plan on feeling old. Her influence shaped my life in many ways but the biggest influence was in the development of my self-esteem and confidence. I am thankful for her because she taught me that even if you don’t win you are still a winner. I remember one time in particular when I was about 8 years old. The small town we lived in always had a picnic in the summer, with games, music and food stands. They also had a pet parade, in which contestants bring their pets dressed up in a costume. Then you walk around in a “parade” with the other kids and their pets. At the end the pet with the best costume was the winner. My very reluctant cat “Sam” did not win the contest. In fact, he scratched me when I was trying to put the baby bonnet on his head. On the way home I was crying in the car because “Sam” the baby did not win. My grandma without missing a beat says “well those judges just don’t know what they are talking about, Sam was the best pet at that parade”. It did make me feel better and I responded, “your right Grandma he was the best no matter what those judges think”. The tears stopped immediately even though I knew all I did was cut some ear holes in a baby bonnet and try to force it on the poor cat. The cat parade is just one example of how my grandma always made me feel like I was the best at whatever I tried to do. She taught me to be confident but to never look down on anyone else. To love myself but realize that I am not better than anyone else. That is the fine line between being confident and being a narcissist. The self-confidence she instilled in me, has served me very well and I still carry that with me today.

The third mother figure in my life is a dear friend who I just happened to meet while I was away at college. She was a vibrant, loving soul who always saw the best in everyone. She passed to the other side of the veil when she was only 55 years old. After fighting a yearlong battle with cancer. The first time I met her she said “you have a beautiful golden aura around you, has anyone ever told you that?” No one had ever told me that and I will never forget how that made me feel. To be seen for who I really am underneath. She had the spirit of a hippie with the tenacity of a cut throat business woman. The most significant lesson she taught me was when pursuing your dream, you don’t take no for an answer. Her influence shaped my life by teaching me to just go straight to the top when you want to get something done. I am thankful for her because she showed me through demonstration how to be a boss. She created her own business through getting an FDA grant. I saw her write to the Governor and get a response. She fought through all the red tape of the FDA regulations and was able to start a successful business. The advice I hold dear and still carry with me today is that it doesn’t matter what the people around you are doing you stay focused on your goals and keep going even when you feel hopeless. She is now one of my guides in spirit. Anytime I have to stand up for myself or my children I feel her with me, cheering me on.

These three women are all very special to me in their own way and all made an impact on my life. I have many pictures and keepsakes to remind me of them but there is one in particular that is absolutely priceless to me. I have many pictures and keepsakes to remind me of them but there is one in particular that is absolutely priceless to me. When I was about seven years old, I wanted to send my grandma a letter and package in the mail. Even though I saw her almost every day I insisted to my mother that it had to be mailed. I wrote Grandma a letter and carefully wrapped up a ceramic figurine of a little girl. Grandma got it in the mail and although she loved the figurine, she felt guilty that I didn’t have it anymore so she sent it back to me. This made me very upset so I sent it back to her. This went on for a few years, then I kind of forgot about it as I got busy with being a teenager. When my grandma was in the nursing home in the last days of her life, I went to visit her. I am an empath and I feel everything. It has been very hard for me over the years to figure out which emotions are my own and which ones belong to others. For this reason, I hated going to the nursing home. Although I wanted to see Grandma, the feelings in that place were just overwhelming to me. I remember sitting there awkwardly trying to make small talk when I saw the figurine on her bedside table. It was like she read my mind and she said “that is a very special talisman, she represents all the fun times we had together" I started crying, she then handed me her Bible and told me to take the figurine home with me. She laughed and said’ “I guess I won because you won’t be able to send her back to me this time”. She transitioned to the other side just a few days later. I still have the figurine and the Bible. Inside her Bible was the letter I wrote her. I only wrote one sentence with my name underneath. It said “Grandma Claudine loves you.” The little fragile girl is now a comfort to me anytime I feel down. I am so thankful I ended up with the talisman, I feel I was the winner after all.

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