grief
Losing a family member is one of the most traumatic life events; Families must support one another to endure the five stages of grief and get through it together.
The Grieving Process
My memorial weekend was rather uneventful in 2016. My parents went off to visit my brother and sister-in-law in Colorado over the holiday, and my son and I were looking over the farm for them while away. Sitting peacefully on the back steps listening to the birds chanting back and forth, I felt blissful. That feeling didn’t last long.
By Meagan Hagerman6 years ago in Families
It Killed Us All
Never did I think I would be standing in the room with my older cousin, no soul, just the body of someone I grew close to. 22 years young and so many goals he had yet to achieve. I get that it is a part of life and everyone passes at one point in their life, but never did I ever think that a beautiful soul, an amazing person would have gone like this.
By Candace Gamble6 years ago in Families
Habits
"There's coffee in the pot," someone says to me as I'm scooping out my Nescafé instant coffee into a mug and adding hot water from the dispenser. "All good, this is faster," I reply. I tell people I'm lazy for preferring instant coffee to the real stuff. I tell people it's because I don't know how to use the coffee machine (this much is true but I’m sure I could learn if I wanted), a variety of excuses that look like I'm making my usual self-deprecating jokes. All to avoid the truth because it's just too painful to explain and I don't want to bum any of my coworkers out first thing in the morning because of a cup of coffee. The truth is that drinking this coffee reminds me of someone—of a morning ritual I got into because of that someone—it reminds me of a time I don’t want to have turned into some distant, hazy memory. Sure, I've since made that over-burnt powder more palatable with a splash of hazelnut almond milk, but every time I take that first sip I'm briefly transported back to a small blue kitchen in Murrumba Downs, Australia.
By Postit Fox6 years ago in Families
An Incapability of Attachment . Top Story - May 2018.
An Incapability of Attachment It begins with a boy, six years of age, charcoal skinned and ashen. There was something about him then, the colours of the sky; the textures of hair; the bite of a lemon. All things were wonderful and fascinating.
By Jordan Ento6 years ago in Families
Life Is a Winding Road
One of the hardest things to go through is change. No matter what it is, leaving the comfort of normal is a scary thing. Even if you’ve gotten a promotion at work, it’s still very scary. Losing a job is scary as hell. Finding the new job is scary as hell. And when you finally find that new job, it’s ridiculously scary. The fear doesn't just come with employment, it comes with life. It comes with meeting someone new that you're interested in, breaking up with someone or even worse, when you lose a family member. Regardless of what change you're going through, what will make or break you is how you deal with the change, how your attitude guides you through.
By Vincent Graziano6 years ago in Families
The Wrong Funeral
Phillipe’s is a hotspot in Los Angeles. Hipsters fill the room for a good sandwich but complain about how there are no vegan options in a restaurant known for roast beef sandwiches. At least that’s what happens in today’s time. When I was younger it was our hotspot. Grandpa David's favorite joint. I can still smell the hay that covers the concrete floor, I can still see the crowds of people and taste the freshly cut roast beef on a homemade French roll. Phillipe’s also makes their own spicy mustard. The men in my family always get it and dump it on their sandwiches, but if I’m being honest, their mustard is the worst thing I’ve ever tasted. It tastes like mud mixed with mustard seed and cayenne pepper. It completely overtakes the meal and leaves a raunchy taste in your mouth for the rest of the day.
By Madison York6 years ago in Families
Mommy to an Angel
2011 was by far the most traumatic event in my life. My daughter, Grace, was stillborn at 39 weeks and 3 days. My pregnancy with her was great and completely normal. I had my 39-week appointment on March 14th, 2011 and while the doctor flubs her heartbeat, I noticed it was 30 bpm slower than usual. I questioned her about it and she dismissed my fears. We were going to induce that day, but I wasn't dilated at all, so my doctor decided to wait three more days. Induction was then scheduled for March 17th, 2011, St. Patrick's day🍀 The night before my induction, I noticed that she wasn't moving. I figured she was sleeping. I was 21, I really wasn't educated about kick counting or normal fetal behavior. That night I had a dream... My daughter was dead. I woke up crying but dismissed my fears because babies don't die, right? I never thought it was possible. Naïve? Yes. I woke up at 5:30 the next morning and packed my stuff in the car. The whole 20-minute ride, I knew something was wrong. My mom and my cousin came with me to the delivery room. I changed into a hospital gown and sat on the bed while the nurse got the belly monitors ready. She tried for a good 5 minutes to find my daughter's heartbeat, nothing. She found my heartbeat and said, "I hear her in there, I know she's there." That was the biggest lie I've ever heard. She exited the room and another nurse came in. She also tried to find the heartbeat. The second nurse tried the fetal Doppler incase the belly monitors weren't working correctly. Again, no heartbeat was found. I knew something was wrong by the look in her eyes. She said nothing as she left. Both nurses entered the room a couple minutes later with my doctor. My doctor also tried to find the heartbeat with no luck. She called for an ultrasound machine. Something was very, very wrong. For what seemed like an eternity, the machine finally arrived along with my doctor and three nurses. She spent 10 minutes attempting to find my daughter's heartbeat on the ultrasound, but her face said it all. Tears came rolling down her cheeks. She touched my leg and said,"I'm so sorry, sweetie. I can't find her heartbeat." At that point, everyone in the room started crying. My baby was dead inside of me. I failed her, my body failed her. It's not fair! I begged for a C-section just to get it over with. I was told that I couldn't have a C-section because it was not medically necessary, so we started a regular induction with pitocin and a cervidil pill to dilate me. My grandma was supposed to come to the delivery after her hair appointment. My mom called her and told her what was going on. All I heard was, "oh my god, oh my god, oh my god." This was fairly significant because my grandma is very religious and never takes the Lord's name in vain, nor does she swear. About an hour later my grandmother arrived with three angel necklaces, one for me, one for my mom and one for my two-year-old daughter. She was crying, and it broke my heart even more. My pastor was called and sat with all of us until an hour before I delivered. I attempted to nap and while I was sleeping, I woke up screaming and crying. "She's dead! She's dead, Mom!"
By Jessica Leigh6 years ago in Families
I Miss You
It's true what they say; losing a loved one changes you in ways you never know until it happens to you. Once upon a time, I was a happy young girl with a world of possibilities and a smile that never left. My family was my rock and my life was perfect. My parents both worked so hard so that my little brother Daniel and I could have everything we would need in life and grow up with a happy, big home. I was so lucky. I was always a daddy's girl and looked up to him always. Despite that, I never stopped loving my mum. She was always there for me, to give me a hug, to give me a kiss, or to answer my many many questions about how long rabbits live.
By Carrie-Ann Oliveira6 years ago in Families