Slow Learning

I am slowly learning that even if I react, it won’t change anything; it won’t magically change their minds. Sometimes it’s better just to let things be, let people go, don’t fight for closure, don’t ask for explanations, don’t chase answers, and don’t expect people to understand where you’re coming from. I’m slowly learning that life is better lived when you don’t center it on what’s happening around you and center it on what’s happening inside you instead. Work on ourselves and your inner peace.

I am slowly learning that even if I react, it won’t change anything. It won’t magically change their minds. It will not help if the other person is not ready to heal from their pains. No one can force someone to change and do things the right way. The only person that you are responsible for is yourself. I control what I think over myself and how I treat others, but this does not mean that I will let you bully me or believe that you are intimidating me because you have not gotten to the level of mental breakthrough that I have gotten to. Most of the time, I am the one walking away from a situation and person because I know that doing so is where I find my salvation.

Sometimes it’s better just to let things be, let people go, don’t fight for closure, don’t ask for explanations, don’t chase answers, and don’t expect people to understand where you’re coming from. Most people will not ever know where you are coming from because they may not have been in your situation. I was the one that was chasing after people and fighting to find closure on so many levels of my life. I was the one that was looking for an explanation of issues that started in my childhood. Now I don’t ask, and I don’t chase. I have learned that everything that I have been through was to build my mental and spiritual muscle. Now that I have been working on myself first, everything else is coming together for my good.

I’m slowly learning that life is better lived when you don’t center it on what’s happening around you and center it on what’s happening inside you instead. Work on our self and your inner peace. I was consumed with what was happening around me that I lost myself in all the pain and trauma. Now I have centered myself on what is happening on the inside of me. Since I made this choice, I no longer walk in fair as much. I wasted so much of my time, energy, and emotions on others that I didn’t realize I was giving them all of me and not getting anything back from them in turn. Now I have learned to be more mindful of my time with others, and I can say now that I am complete and whole. I no longer carry that bag of dog shit around. I put it all in the trash, never to pick it up again unless it is for helping someone else heal.

When I do not react to something doesn’t mean that it doesn’t affect me. It just means that I will not give you the tools to continue to cut me. I learned to walk away from many toxic situations because that was the best and only response and reaction you would get from me. In other words, you are not worth me going through a revolving door all the time with. Why am I even allowing myself to go through those changes with you when I see that all you are considered about is yourself? You are not looking for healing and restoration. You are looking to see if I am doing worse off than trying to use it to your advantage and hurt me more. Well, I am speaking over myself, and I am speaking to all of those other silent voices in my mind telling you that you are not good enough, you are not pretty enough, and all of the other damaging lies that come our way.