She Was Born My Cousin And Became My Sister In Life

Yesterday I was at a memorial for my cousin, who died during the pandemic, four years ago. She was being treated for lupus when her non-Hodgkins lymphoma had returned, without treatment. She died from the cancer.

Medical treatment wasn't the same during the pandemic, so her reoccurring cancer was not caught.

Her daughter hadn't done anything with her ashes after she died. Faith wanted to be cremated and her ashes placed "Over the dam and by Harry." She said, she just couldn't as she wasn't ready to let her go, until now as it seemed time to honor her wishes.

When we arrived at the place where Harry was, we all got out and walked to the old family place. It was windy and cold with a slight dampness. We stood there and shivered until everyone got there. We thought we would be the latest as we had missed our turn.

The roads were good but we had an almost three-hour drive. And then it was a three-hour drive having missed the turn. It is funny how the family living the closest were the last to arrive.

Immediate family were each given ashes to sprinkle. Two of her three living brothers out of nine kids in the family. Then Shirley and I. Her brother wasn't there.

Some funny stories were told of sprinkling ashes of previous loved ones who had been cremated. Rather disrespectful conversation but it helped the mood lighten up while we waited. She was loved by all that were there.

Her daughter sent a message out on Facebook to all on the Thursday before the Sunday we gathered. She was requesting family to come that could make the fourth anniversary of her mother's death. She tagged me and a few others.

She was my cousin but my mother referred to her as her younger sister, and I thought of her as my older sister. She didn't feel old enough to be my aunt.

She was only six years older than me. We both had non-Hodgkins lymphoma and we both had alopecia areota. When I was diagnosed with alopecia, they told me that it is common when someone else in the family has it.

Even though it was cold at Harry, the cedar tree, where we sprinkled her ashes and Harry was kind of pitiful looking compared to some of the cedar trees I visit, it was clear that the name Faith called the tree was fitting!.

There wasn't snow yet but they were expecting snow on Wednesday of this week. We are expecting it Tuesday and a couple hours down the road relatives are expecting snow today.

In spite of the cold, we had a warm place to go to after the ceremony, which was short and included a prayer in Ojibwe and a sprinkling of the ashes. The drum house was the perfect place to add comfort and joy after the ceremony.

A nice meal was there waiting when we got there. Even though it was sad, we could also celebrate her life and all the love she gave to us in her lifetime.

We had so much fun over the years. I remember her staying with us in the summer of her sixteenth year. I must have been ten. It was the year my dad died. I remember laughing as we played canasta and cribbage and when we went to the lake for the day with a picnic basket. Something we didn't do much when living in the city.

That summer after my dad died, Faith was helping my mother with her diet. My mother was always on a diet. Faith watched my mother like a hawk. Very intent on her big sister sticking to her diet. Faith appeared more intent than my mother was.

My mother did lose weight. The other day I was thinking that I could use a Faith to assist me with weight loss.

Earlier memories of Faith were when she stayed with my grandparents and my family rented an apartment above them. It was before I was five years old as I lived on the reservation when I was five and had fun with cousins that winter.

I had my tonsils out that year and just went sledding, played games, and ate ice cream made out of snow. I remember my female cousins the most. Faith and Anne. It was great winter fun! One of the best and worst of my life. Having my tonsils removed was not fun. Everything else I remember though was a blast.

That was a cold winter, and even though it was cold, we found joy and warmth and comfort in front of the fireplace, when being pulled behind the car on an old car hood, and when eating snow made into ice cream at the kitchen table in front of the old cookstove at my cousin's house.