Say Goodbye

Christina, Christina where have you gone?

I've gone to my heaven and I'm dancing along. I died in my sleep just like we all wish, although I was a bit young and never got to live at the beach. My life went well when I was on earth, my family, husband and good friends made it all the worth and I wish it didn't have to end. I needed a bit more time to do some more things, but I did get in a lot as short as its been.

But we miss you Christina and it shouldn't be so, you shouldn't have gone while we're all just reaching some middle age flow. You lived up north but came to visit every year. When the snow flew you'd get out of town, watching the waves and sitting on the deck, eating lots of seafood while the salt spray got us wet. Bucket of shrimp, platter of fish, lots of mussels with our favorite garlic dip.

Walking around St Pete's, Gulfport too, Pass a Grill with intercoastal views. I will miss your visits, your smile and laugh. I will miss our history over the past, 26 years went really fast, from one end of the U.S. to the other, and yet we ended up back very close to the start.

I'm sorry for Dan, I'm not sure how he'll survive, after being married 20 plus years, you two had a good life. I'm sorry for your mom and dad and their first born, for your brother Larry and sister AnneMarie, and how they're going to cope with this huge loss and the hole you'll leave. You were there for everyone who needed you and I'm sure there are many more, including the accounting firm at their tax store.

It's hard to say goodbye, it's all so raw. It's such a shock that you're gone at all. You're a great friend and soul, a big sister and you had goals, many you fulfilled and at some we had lots of laughs, because your spirit was happy and that's why I'll miss you so much, to make me feel like life can be handled if we just all make friends with someone with your sparks.

Christina died in her sleep on November 19 2020, she was 51 years old with no chronic illnesses. We met in 1993 working on a daily casino boat out of Mayport Florida, it was called LA Cruise. Christina and her sister Anne Marie, myself and husband Chris became friends. We dealt cards, disagreed with the manager and the owner of the boat, his right hand security guard who said he was x-delta force; he did have some interesting moves. There were lots of good people onboard like, most I cannot remember names of.

Chris and I ended up in southern California opening casinos and somehow found out that Anne-Marie and Christina were working up in Lake Tahoe. Anne-Marie ended up moving down by us and Christina moved back home to Maryland. Next we knew she was getting married and living in New Hampshire. We kept up as she would come to town and visit her sister and we all always got along.

I remember my father once saying something about everyone is starting to die, after his brother passed away, in his 50's. I guess it's my turn to start constant mourning; I've also lost 4 family members, parents and sisters so that doesn't make it any easier. You may start to feel better, a little lighter, a while after someone passes, but it comes back to slap you at times and the pain comes with it. It's okay to wallow a bit, but the feeling sorry is for yourself, not for the person gone. It's for what you've missed out on not having them around. But your life must continue to move forward even with these losses, there are more friends and family and more goals to fulfil.