Rachel is on a cloud

Rachel’s little, limp and precious body lay on the floor. Did she shoot the gun so hard she fell down, she wonders? Did she really just shoot her daddy? Rachel’s body feels weird, like when she is in the swimming pool and feels like she doesn’t weigh anything. She goes to scratch her back and feels something like a bug or a bird or something. Its wings! She has fairy wings! But wait, she looks down and sees herself lying on the floor. Are those angel wings? Did she fall asleep and is having a dream? As she looks down again she sees her daddy picking her up from the hardwood floor. She sees her body and the reddest blood on the floor. She sees her daddy’s shirt with red blood, her blood, as his tears splatter onto the blood turning it a pinkish color. But, but, but this isn’t what she meant or planned! She was going to shoot her daddy because he had been bad. What happened to what she planned? Daddy, or John is what everyone calls him, is just sitting in his chair holding her tiny body.

John isn’t sure what just happened, how it happened or even why his baby, Rachel, had a gun. He was sleeping and he knew he put her to bed. How in the name of God is he going to explain this to his wife, Susan, or anyone for that matter? Oh yea well I fell asleep and all the sudden I hear a bang and jump up and there is Rachel on the floor, dead! He knows that is how it played out, but isn’t sure anyone will believe him; hell he doesn’t even believe this shit. John just fell to the floor in a fit of pain, one he had never felt before. He’s in such pain that no tears are falling. He suddenly realizes he has fallen on top of Rachel so he lunges back, away from her body. He stares at the phone knowing with every drop in his soul that he has to dial 911, but he just can’t make his fingers push the buttons. He slides down the fridge, catching his belt on the door, causing food to tumble out. He is still just sitting there not doing a fucking thing! What is his problem? John finds himself walking in circles, sweat beads popping out on his forehead.

He decides to call Susan first. He scrolled through his phone looking for his sister in laws number, and clicked the number hoping no one would answer. It rang once, he is breathing so hard, rang twice, and tears now sting his chapped face, and rang for the third time and Cindy answered. Fuck! He hates her as much as she hates him, so he knows how this will go down. “Hello? Hello? John? Well are you going to talk or just sit there?” she said. “Um Cindy, yea, well is Susan around?” John asked. “No she’s out fucking some dude! Of course she’s here, what do you want that just couldn’t wait till tomorrow when she gets home?” Cindy screamed into the phone. John feels the steam drifting up from his shirt; he is so pissed, yet scared as shit. He finally finds his voice, “Cindy I just need to speak to her OK. It’s about Rachel.” Cindy doesn’t say anything just breathes all heavy and slams the phone down. He hears her yelling to Susan that he is on the phone. “Hey John , what’s up?” asked Susan .

Rachel feels like she’s floating on a cloud and her hair seems even curlier as she floats. She can see her daddy on the phone; she thinks he is probably calling that stupid lady from church so they can make plans to kiss again. She thinks it’s weird because she can see him but can’t get her little ears to hear him. This cloud seems bouncy, kinda like her big, fluffy pillow on her bed. Rachel thinks she likes this cloud thing, wishes her mommy could play on it with her. She has missed her mommy so much and will be so glad to see her. Now she can see her daddy crying again. I guess he figured out he made a mess and that he better clean it up. Oh! Wait! She’s on this cloud but can see herself laying down there too. What happened? Then her little mind remembers. She was gonna sneak up on her daddy and shoot him for kissing that lady. But why if she shot him, is he talking on the phone?

“Susan I’ve got to tell you something, oh God, I don’t know if I can do this…..Rachel, um, Rachel….” John tries hard to tell her. “What John? What about Rachel, is she OK? Are you crying? What is going on?” asked Susan. “Something happened and I don’t know how or why. I can’t even say it! See I put Rachel to bed, and then I fell asleep in my chair I guess. The next thing I heard was what sounded like a gun shot, so I jumped up out of the chair and I step on her! I stepped on Rachel! She’s been shot! She’s gone! Our baby is dead Susan! The gun is lying by her. I swear I don’t know what happened, I feel like I’m in a fucking nightmare, I mean why, what?” John screams. He knows he is on the phone with Susan, but he doesn’t hear anything, nothing, total silence. “Susan ?!” John yells. Now he hears her, all he hears are her screams, wailing, more screams. John isn’t sure what to say, what to do, so he hangs up. He just wants to hold Rachel again and try to get her bloodstained hair clean. He can’t stop crying or holding her. Her little fingernails are painted red, her little lips now losing their sweet, rosy color. He is holding Rachel so tight; rocking her back and forth telling her how much he loves her. He rocks for what seems like hours, and then he hears the doorbell. Oh damn, now what? He hasn’t heard back from Susan, hasn’t called 911 so he can’t imagine who it is. It’s fucking three o’clock in the morning for Christ’s sake! He lays Rachel softly on the couch and goes to the door. The closer he gets to the door and windows he sees what look like colored lights outside. Blue lights! What? He put his big hand on the door knob and opens it to find two police officers. John is actually thankful to see them, maybe they can help him. “Mr. McMillan? We just got a call from your wife, Susan, saying your daughter has been shot. Is this true? Where is Rachel?” asked the bigger of the two officers. John can’t talk; he just cries and motions for them to follow him to the couch where Rachel’s lifeless body lays.