Parenting road, can be a good "anger" do not hold back

Parents often ask me, "When I teach my children, sometimes I get really angry and I just yell at them or hit them. I feel guilty afterward and I don't think I am a good mother. Teacher, what can I do to be a good mother?"

From a child's point of view, it is best to teach children without yelling or screaming, but adults also need to vent their emotions.

So today I want to say to parents: parenting is not easy, in the parenting road can be good to anger, do not hold back, mothers also need to vent their emotions.

How can parents, especially mothers, vent their emotions and not suffer internal injuries, but also effectively educate their children and not damage the parent-child relationship? Today, let's discuss it together!

Learn to reconcile with yourself

Many mothers, after having children, gradually lose themselves.

They suffer all kinds of vomiting, pain, and change of body shape in October pregnancy alone, to level 10 pain during delivery, to breastfeeding, crying at night, and trying hard while being wretched.

As their children grow older, they will hug their mothers and say they love you, and they will do the most infuriating things against their mothers' anger.

Moms are so eager to be good moms that they forget that they were once girls who were loved.

Today I want to tell all moms: besides being a mom, we are first and foremost independent human beings!

Moms have their own emotions: sadness, aggression, anger, grief, etc.

Don't lose yourself trying to be a good mom. Learn to reconcile with yourself on your parenting journey.

Know that we are first ourselves and then the mother of our children, and that to love our children we must first love ourselves!

Love yourself first

Learn to reconcile with your child

The fact that you don't yell and scream and don't get angry on the road to parenting is something that only a very small number of fairy mothers can do.

What about the majority of those who are not fairy moms?

1、Agreement in advance, gives the child a sense of security

Find a pleasant time to communicate with your child.

Baby, mommy loves you very much, but sometimes she will be in a bad mood and will lose her temper, yell at you, and hit you because you did something wrong.

If mommy loses her temper and you feel unhappy, you can send mommy a signal, such as "Mommy, please keep your voice down, you're scaring me."

This way mom understands that you already know she is angry and that you are ready to deal with her about it, okay?

Agreeing to pre-determine this beforehand not only allows the child to understand that you have emotions too and prepares him mentally.

More importantly, let the child know that even though the mother will sometimes lose her temper, but still love him, to give the child a sense of security.

2、Three don't say and three don't do in the matter

It is normal to express emotions, but when expressing emotions mothers must pay attention to the way of expression.

When angry three do not say.

Do not say do not love the child words: again so mom does not love you, do not like you at all, you go to do other people's children, mom does not have a child like you ......

Do not say insulting words: you do not like the child at all, you are a naughty bad child, you are really bad, you are a lying child, you are so unattractive ......

Do not say threatening words: If you do this again, I will send you to whoever's house, I will call the police to take you away, I will leave you here, and do not want you to go home ......

Three things not to do when you get angry.

Don't do things that scare your child: put your child in a dark room, tie your child's hands and feet, and trap your child in one place ......

Don't do things that leave your child: don't slam the door after you get angry and leave your child alone to feel bad

Do not do things that hurt the child's health: no matter how angry you are, do not hurt the child's health as a way of venting

3, take the initiative to reconcile with the child afterward

The most magnanimous in the world must be the child, the child's love for the parents is purer than the parents' love for the child.

Even if one second is still in tears at the mother's scolding, the next second the child will still hug the mother and say I love you the most.

If a parent is angry and the child has not made a mistake of principle, remember to take the initiative to reconcile with the child and tell him that "I love you".

Mothers may want to show weakness to their children and admit that they were wrong to get angry.

You will be welcomed by the child's admission of the fault so that both sides can be reconciled openly and honestly.

Finally, there must be a reconciliation ceremony, such as a hug, a handshake, a hook, etc., which will make it clear to the child that the matter is over.

Learn to reconcile with family

The influence of the family of origin is deeply rooted in each person, and after forming a new family, parents reconcile with their own family.

For better or for worse, learn to say goodbye and work on everything to make the new family work.

Parenting road to learning to discuss with the other half, good distribution of education, rather than bereavement parenting.

Educating children is not just for moms alone, dads also need to share the responsibility of homeschooling so that moms have something to fall back on when they are tired.

Parenting is never easy, accepting negative emotions, controlling them, and venting them appropriately is also responsible for the family, so don't hold back moms!