Families logo

Parenting conflicts can easily harm children

Parenting conflicts

By Shi WeiPublished about a year ago 7 min read
Like
Parenting conflicts can easily harm children
Photo by Jessica Rockowitz on Unsplash

Couples will inevitably argue about parenting issues. At this point, both parties should actively communicate and try to find a mutually acceptable solution, rather than disagreeing or debating endlessly. You should know that unnecessary arguments will not only hurt the couple's feelings but also make it easier for the baby's heart to be hurt.

Couples have different experiences growing up

People can't think the same way, not to mention that both spouses grew up as children and have different views on childcare because they grew up in different families. But if both spouses keep insisting that their views are the right ones, or even end up arguing about who is right and who is wrong, it will deviate from the main purpose of parenting, and not only will neither spouse be the winner, but the child in the middle may also be the biggest loser.

Coaching

According to Director Liao Qingbi, since both spouses have different upbringing experiences and different families have different approaches to raising their children, they will naturally have different parenting concepts when they grow up. For example, the father is the eldest son in the family, if you grow up and see your mother and father love their younger siblings more, then he may also grow up to love the younger children. Conversely, he may also love the older child more, because he wants to make up for his lack of love. Therefore, as long as there is a different understanding of the education of children, then there will be different aspirations and eventually will also affect the attitude towards the education of children. Impact: 6 major effects of the family financial crisis on BB

Don't let parenting arguments destroy the family

There is no doubt that the relationship between husband and wife is quite important for the harmony of a family. If the relationship between husband and wife is not good, then the normal functioning of the family will create problems. If the couple is often in conflict over the child's upbringing, then it will invariably destroy the harmony of the family and the relationship between the couple. In addition, every time there is a conflict over the children, both parties are very likely to turn the children's problem into a venting of dissatisfaction with the other half, which will affect the quality of family life and the relationship between the couple, because the other party will think that you have a lot of accumulated dissatisfaction, but just looking for a reason to play on the issue. When the marriage becomes unstable because of frequent quarrels, the children undoubtedly become the most pitiful victims.

There is no absolute right and wrong between husband and wife, we are all trying to educate the children better, so why the conflict? You should first open your mind, put aside the opinions you hold, listen to what the other person is saying, and then discuss it calmly. This will not only avoid unnecessary conflicts but also help to have a deeper and broader understanding of the educational philosophy, to find the most beneficial educational method for the child. At the same time, the child will also feel that the family is incredibly warm and gives him an adequate sense of security.

If couples often argue about the parenting of their children, it is worth trying to jump out and have a thorough examination of their marital relationship to see if they should start by improving their relationship and thus resolve the frequent parenting disputes.

TIPS: 4 major effects of parenting conflicts on children

No matter how well couples communicate, it seems unlikely that there will be no disagreements on parenting issues. It's just that these disagreements should be as few as possible, and not shown in front of the child, because they can have a big impact on the child.

Emotional instability: Younger children can become emotionally unstable, which inevitably affects learning skills and habits.

Disorientation: Some children may become disoriented, not knowing whether to listen to their father or their mother or choosing to listen to the loudest person, completely losing their way.

Feelings of guilt: Some children will also feel guilty as a result. They may think that the fight between mom and dad was caused by them, causing a psychological burden and affecting their personality development.

Causing shadows: More serious children will develop inner anxiety and insecurity, and they will be afraid to see their parents fighting, even creating shadows in their minds that will be difficult to erase even in adulthood, which will hurt the whole life of the person.

Strive to establish a consistent view of parenting

Conflicts over different parenting attitudes can be harmful to children in one way or another, which parents know very well, but it is always difficult to control their emotions. In this regard, Director Liao suggests that when a couple has a difference of opinion, they should first resolve the conflict in private to reach a consensus and coordinate a parenting method that both parties are satisfied with, and then face the child with a consistent attitude.

For example, if the child still refuses to go to bed when it's bedtime, the mother may keep urging the child to go to bed, but the father and his playfulness are so strong that he refuses to go to bed. This is when parents should talk about what time the child goes to bed, what time he gets up, and who plays with him. After reaching a consensus, there is the same attitude toward parenting, which is good for everyone.

In the process of reaching a consensus, couples should learn to listen to each other, not just stand on their own feet, but try to think about each other, each sticking to his or her views often failing to see the problem. Only by listening attentively can we uncover problems and resolve our differences.

In some cases, parents have different views on parenting that are originally caused by poor relationships between husband and wife. Therefore, it is important to listen to your significant other with an open mind and peace of mind, to reflect on and adjust to the relationship, and to learn to find ways to make it acceptable to both sides in mutual tolerance. In this way, we can jointly discuss the best set of educational rules for our children, which will have a profound impact on the happiness of a family and the development of children.

7 best tips to resolve parenting conflicts

1. Face the conflict and solve the problem

When there is a conflict between the couple, should be faced squarely, not hostile and not indifferent. Give yourself a chance to give your other half a chance to communicate properly about the problem, do not ignore small problems, otherwise, it will get worse in the future.

2. Seek outside assistance

When couples feel that the problem really can not be solved, may wish to seek assistance from the outside. You can consult a marriage expert, through discussion and reflection, hopefully, to resolve the conflict between the couple. Or ask friends and family to help, so that the couple can face the problem openly.

3. Remember the good times

Always think and talk with your significant other about all the fun you had before marriage, and remember the good times you had together, which can be very helpful in resolving conflicts.

4. Test the relationship

The couple's relationship to a comprehensive test to see what the couple is really like. Is it like mother and son, or is it like father and daughter? A good relationship between husband and wife should be to let each other have their own space, mutual acceptance, appreciation, and respect.

5. praise each other more

Do not feel that everything is deserved, for example, when your husband comes home and takes the initiative to play with the children, you should immediately praise him. If the other party occasionally told a well-intentioned little lie, do not mind, the husband also because of fear of his wife being worried and reluctant, to tell the truth of the matter, then you should thank him, rather than blame him, after all, his starting point is well-intentioned.

6. put down the body.

Acknowledge the strengths of the other half, more tolerant of his weaknesses.

7. deepen understanding

Couples each prepare a piece of paper, write down the most satisfied and least satisfied with each other, and help to understand each other's ideas.

advicechildrenhumanityparents
Like

About the Creator

Shi Wei

I like to travel, but I don't like to arrive at my destination.

Reader insights

Be the first to share your insights about this piece.

How does it work?

Add your insights

Comments

There are no comments for this story

Be the first to respond and start the conversation.

Sign in to comment

    Find us on social media

    Miscellaneous links

    • Explore
    • Contact
    • Privacy Policy
    • Terms of Use
    • Support

    © 2024 Creatd, Inc. All Rights Reserved.