PAPA, I AM SORRY!

Dear papa,

I write to you, as i know i can never tell you this, not because you wouldn't hear me out, you would, you are the most patient listener, but i write to you, cause there are no perfect words to communicate this to you.

Papa, am sorry , i didn't join you, when you asked me watch movie with you, not like i were not interested, i were just more interested in that google meet call with friends. It's not even like they are more valuable, it's just at that moment those jokes were valuable to me for getting little relaxed from the chaotic college schedule. Papa , am sorry for not spending more time with you, like i used to before, i still wish to, but my time is now divided into so much activities, i barely even find time for myself.

I am sorry i don't look after myself as you want me too, I know it hurts you when i went to bed empty stomach, i know you eat according to my preference, i know you cook me my favorite dish for me, when am sad. i know its you who cut and bring me fresh fruits when am studying late night, and ofc scolds me for having too much coffee.

I am sorry for today when i scolded you for not getting technology at once, I know you try your best to fit with my generation. I know you are trying to adapt. I know you put your best efforts to understand the modern way of thinking and my society. I know are being a part of it, just so you can understand me well. I know you get upset about the very thought that this fast life might outpace my affection for you, but appa its never gonna happen.

I know am stubborn, I know at times i won't listen to you. You might think i got my own group, to hangout with. You may think i have a different world of my own to have fun with, to create memories with, but truth be told, am all alone in my world, there's no one like you. I know no man can handle the tantrums i throw when i don't get my favorite ice-cream. I know no one will pat my back even on mischiefs like you do.

I know at times i made you feel like i don't need you anymore, but papa, there hasn't been one incident or achievement when i haven't remembered you. Whenever i held a certificate of achievement i thanked you, whenever i got into any trouble i cursed myself for not listening to you. I am sorry at times i get too harsh, too straight-forward, little disrespecting, but papa, i equally feel guilty for it.

I know you crave to spend some time with me and my brother, to play hide and seek, to purchase chocolates for us, to take us to park, i know you miss the time when you used to be our hero, when all our activities included you, when we would wait for you all day long to return from your job and would run into you as soon as you would open the door. I know you don't appreciate this distance now.

But papa only if i could say this to you, there's only hero for me and that's you, if only i could tell you, i still wait for you to come home soon, i still want to play hide and seek, i still want you to take me on rides, tell me interesting facts about places. I know the experience and the knowledge you hold, no google site can ever provide. Papa, still all our activities involve you, and those which don't i think how much better this moment had been if only you would have been here with me.

Papa i try to look at the world from your eyes, and you from mine. Papa, i know even when I'd fail in my life, I'd never fail you. Its you i strive to be better for. It's you i want to make happy, satisfied, and proud of your daughter. I do not intend to let your efforts go in vain. Whatever i do , and whatever I'll do, I'll do for you.

Papa if it wouldn't have been you, i wouldn't have been able to make it to this date. I wouldn't have been able to prove myself. To be a part of India's best college wouldn't have came true, if it wouldn't have been your guidance. Papa i wouldn't be hard working, wise, and strong, if you wouldn't have taught me. Whatever i am, i am because of you. Wherever I'll go, I'll carry your identity you have given to me.

I can never say this to you in person , but i can't ever love someone else as i love you, and all i ever want is for you to be equally proud of me, as am of you!

your 18 year old daughter❤