Pandemic Rookie and her Furry Coworkers

Pandemic Rookie and her Furry Coworkers by Tiffany Wormack

B.F.S. lived near Fort Bragg all her life. It was in her to be a soldier. Both her cousins were lady generals. Her Uncle was a sailor and she had another Uncle who was a NYC police officer. She always admired the Red Hats. In highschool, she played sports and never enlisted in ROTC but she passed the ASVAB with flying colors. Unfortunately, she never could meet the weight requirement to go active duty. So after years of public school teaching, she took the oath for Correctional Officer at the Lillington North Carolina prison. Little did she know, The Lillington N.C prison was 80/20–80% sex offender and 20% mentally ill.

In orientation, her training class was very small. Maybe eight new hires (4 males and 4 women). One Fayetteville, Black young male was studying to be a prison psychiatrist. The other Black male, the inmates later nicknamed him, “Inmate in Blue.” The other male (lover boy) was the son of a black male retirement age Correctional Officer. The last male new hire, “Papi,” was a young Puerto rican soldier.

Orientation was a huge scare tactic, a manipulation of the mind. They never sent any of the new officers to CRT or combat training. They just put the new officers in a small trailer outside of the prison camp and gave them volumes of outdated books to read for about three days with extended lunch breaks which was a break in the normal routine because in that prison, the officers work 12 hours and 15 minutes straight with no breaks. No access to phones that call outside of the prison. Not allowed to bring cell phones in the prison. It was Hell week during the female officers’ menstrual periods.

B.F.S. was told during orientation not to bring in objects that resemble a penis. So, she never brought in cucumbers, bananas, and etcetera. She would in fact, have hardly any food on her at all at the gatehouse checkpoint and would carry a clear small sandwich bag in her pocket, with two boiled eggs or chopped cucumbers for lunch to eat all day. The officers were not allowed to leave the camp for 12 hours and 15 minutes which made for a very long work day.

Before the three boring book days where the new officers were all squeezed in a small office trailer located on the prison camp and told to read outdated material that they did not read because it was too much to read and plus they were all bonding and cracking jokes and shooting the breeze. Besides, there were too many old dusty outdated books talking about legal genres or fire safety, OSHA. Nothing about how to be a successful correctional officer or how to properly writeup a sex offender for masterbating in front of you or gassing the male officers. “Gassing,” is a prison term for throwing pee at the officers. The new officers were routed back to the training trailer to meet the current Senior officers. Each Senior officer came into the training room and read unrelated or not helpful information from a sheet of paper to the new officers. One talked about OSHA. One talked about Fire Safety. One asked the new officer B.F.S. to come to the front of the class and attempt to press her finger through his sternum. B.F.S. comes from a nonviolent family. She grew up in the rural Black church and she felt as though she had no reason to forcefully stick her finger through an old country white man’s body part. She declined and none of the other new officers including active duty soldier, Papi, volunteered to take her spot in the demonstration. So, the Senior officer moved onto the next Senior officer. Officer H2 came in and showed them a video of a Black woman on her knees at the crotch of an inmate. And told the new officers about a national northern news story of a woman who was coerced into bringing drugs in the prison for an inmate. The Superintendent of the prison, a fat white female followed by a very submissive Black administrative assistant who was married to Lieutenant Black man who drove an old black mustang. The Superintendent (fat female) comes in briefly and looks directly at the pretty face and smile on new officer B.F.S. and says, “ Don’t believe anything that the inmates tell you,” and then she exits the training room followed by her submissive assistant, the black lieutenant’s wife. That was 50 percent of the new officer’s training. Leaving 40% of the training with tactics to brainwash and convince the new officers that the inmates were enemies of America and enemies of mankind and 100% not human but yet the new officers were told that they were going to be released to the prison dorm floor without CRT combat training or pepper spray due to budget cuts.

The final 10% of the new officer training was the pepper spray test. This was the final “weed out,” attempt by the state to break the new orientation officers. This was doomsday.

The fat red headed nice white guy trainer was a sharp shooter, he like most white american men are the best shooters in the world. He shot the pepper spray directly in Officer psychiatrist wannabe’s eyes as he repeatedly wined, rubbed his eyes and yelled, “Oh shit!” Then, he shot the pepperspray directly in the eye of the new officer, young weed head black lesbian who had a girl crush on straight officer goody two shoes, B.F.S. who was 100% straight. The young black lesbian who appeared so tough and so ready failed. The trainer was so worried about her as B.F.S. washed her little sista’s tearful, pepper spray filled eyes out with vitamin D milk.

On the other hand, a Puerto rican female new officer passed the pepper spray test with flying colors. She worked in a gas chamber so she could eat pepper spray and chew it like bubble gum. Whereas her counterpart, the Puerto rican papi soldier cried like a baby and failed. Maybe, he has seen so much in combat until the pepper spray test brought back ptsd war memories for him. We felt sorry for him. B.F.S. was another new officer not to be reckoned with. She passed the test with flying colors and did not forget to immediately pick up her weapon with eyes filled with burning high potent pepper spray. She was always a soldier at heart but on the first day on the prison camp, outside of the training environment, magic began to happen. Things were happening that were unexplainable.

The prison camp was a small world and by now the entire camp had heard about the highly respected new officer B.F.S. She was liked by all of the administration, the captain, lieutenants, the sergeants, senior officers, administrative staff, medical staff, as well as the inmates. She was firm but fair, honest and cordial. Even the animals like stray cats, birds, and insects flocked behind her as she walked around the huge camp and down the long walkway or center shoot, delivering mail or supplies to the inmate dorms or admin offices. Sometimes, she and the animals would share a song or two while she worked. It was magical how the animals were so personified in the camp. They could talk and dance and sing like rockstars on broadway. Every work day, the birds would sing B.F.S. a lullaby while she issued the mail or issued the antacids or did the inmate count. Everyone was like: “Good Morning, Officer B.F.S. How was the weekend?” Did you have a nice Easter? Did you celebrate Cinco DeMayo Officer B.F.S.? How was Christmas? Are you working in the multi religious center today? Officer B.F.S., did you get your engine repaired on your BMW SUV? Officer B.F.S. was getting so popular until the other officers were calling her with training questions. She was a delight to work with. All was well until Officer B.F.S. was the first from her new officer hiring class to be selected for CRT, combat training which meant that she was approved to complete new officer probation and allowed to further her career in law enforcement. Everyone congratulated her after the fat red head sharp shooter trainer called and informed her of her 1 week long training dates. Good news spreads fast until it gets in the wrong ears.

By this time Villainess, the Antagonist and sergeant baton trainer had returned from vacation and heard all of the good news. “Who is this B-otch,” she said to the senior officers, who dared to cross her path. She was the force that ran the camp and all of the administration. She was adored by the white lieutenant and bestfriends with the Superintendent. She was every black female officer's nightmare. When she drove up in the parking lot that morning, after returning from a long vacation, the prison yard stray cats, the tree finches and lovebirds, the friendly snakes, the insects, squirrels, and any animal living on the prison camp tried to warn officer B.F.S. of the lady sergeant narcissistic evil presence. They were yelling, “She is back.” The Villainess Sergeant is back. Be careful, New Officer B.F.S! She will eat your kind heart for breakfast. Find a new job. She will ruin your life. The last new officer, she harassed and got her shift changed against her will. The others were fired. B.FS. was so blinded by optimism. She thought her little furry friends were exaggerating and over worrying or just being overprotective. So, she cracked jokes and failed to be warned.

Without Lady sergeant villainess, the camp was rehabilitating. The inmates in the SOAR program were growing in a positive direction with little to know supervision in their coffee dormitory small group sessions. They were beginning to see the kids that they did bad things to as individuals as precious humans not objects. All of the inmates were conscientious about learning trades, taking classes, getting jobs, building utility barns and working in the wood shops and going to barber school. The camp was getting more green with less prison crime and confusion. Fewer inmates were ending up in segregation. Officers were working as a team. Even Rookie B.F.S. as a new officer had begun running and responding to prison Codes without actually being trained in that area. She was just eager to be all she could be for the good of the camp and the team. On the contrary, as soon as Lady Villainess felt as though she was not the head woman center of attention. She began to feel inadequate and felt a loss of control.

B.F.S., come with me to the meat plant! Why is your necktie crooked (as she begins making changes to B.F.S.’s uniform)? She began bullying B.F.S. in front of the inmates. She kept calling B.F.S. to her sergeant office. The inmates began to complain and feel sorry for B.F.S. Every morning at lineup, Sergeant Villainess would hope that B.F.S. would report to duty late to get a 5:45 a.m. writeup or employee scolding from the Black captain who was a nice guy. “Officer B.F.S., I have known Sergeant Villainess a long time,” he said. But Captain, you do not know what she is capable of, said the innocent Rookie B.F.S. “I know she is a hard officer,” said the white lieutenant who was a former police officer in Harnett County. He loved his granddaughter who also had a gift and ability to talk or communicate with the animals and birds just like new officer B.F.S.

Months went by and the prison camp was in disarray. Sergeant Villainess had been beating dreadlock inmates in the head with her baton while other officers would hold their legs down. Then they were sent to 24 segregation where she was in charge and she would come into their cell and perform sexual acts on them to keep them from pressing charges on her. “This is our camp! We run this shit!,” she said. The Black captain cannot tell us a damn thang, she said to Officer B.F.S. Don’t believe anything that those inmates say, said Villainess. Officer B.F.S. told the black captain what she said and he ignored every word. Sergeant Villainess had the power and she had every man on the camp stepping like a soldier to her command. She turned the inmates and the administration against B.F.S. She kept her from going to CRT, combat training although, Officer B.F.S. was confirmed the first pick of her new hire class. When an inmate sexually assaulted a stray cat on the prison camp, sexually penetrating her vagina and then Sergeant Villainess had secretly made the order to keep the buddhist and other chaplains from coming to the camp to do prison ministries, Officer B.F.S. knew that she had to do something but Sergeant Villainess convinced the administration to put Officer B.F.S. on probation with no access to the camp and under lock and key where she was barely allowed to use the restroom. She even had to work in the dark with rodents all around her and no state jacket in 29 degree weather. Something had to be done. So the sexually assaulted cat, the tree finches and lovebirds, singing insects, turtles, hamsters, and all of the prison pets had a secret meeting in the multireligious activity center. The barn owl came up with a SWOT analysis and appointed new human and nonhuman people of God to help Officer B.F.S. They were going to form a revolt against the whole prison camp. They all came up to the prison gatehouse and told Officer B.F.S. that if she gets fired, they are going to war with the officers of the Lillington prison. B.F.S. tried to convince them otherwise but they would not listen. Especially, the barn owl who was an expert hunter with a keen sense of hearing.

So, she got on her knees and wept and prayed to the one and only almighty God: Dear Lord, I have failed at peacekeeping here in the prison camp. I am worried about the inmates that were working towards a better good. Sergeant Villainess and the allies of evil versus good have retaliated and started shipping the rehabilitated inmates to maximum security and one of them has cancer. Another one almost died from K2 and another one died from a K2 overdose. The prison is corrupt and drug infested. They are putting any prisoner that has shared information with me in segregation for 100 or more days which is against the law. “All I Want Is World Peace,” my Lord. Please fix this, said new officer B.F.S. The bible says in Mark 4, “And he arose, and rebuked the wind, and said unto the sea, Peace, be still.” Then God spoke to B.F.S. I am the great that I am. If you abide in me then my words will abide in you. What is your heart’s desire, daughter B.F.S.

Dear Sovereign God, “All I Want Is World Peace, “ said the tearful Rookie B.F.S. officer. The almighty one and only God reminded her of the meaning of her name. You are a child of God and you are called, B.F.S. which means Black Female Superhero. I have given you what you need to restore PEACE. Trust in the son of God. Trust in me. Take love, peace, and blessings into the year 2022. And spread blessings in remembrance of me. And suddenly, B.F.S. remembered the words of Cinderella, “Have courage and be Kind.” B.F.S. came up with a plan and whispered it to the dancing tree finches, who whispered to the lovebirds, who whispered to the friendly snake, who whispered to the turtle, who whispered to the squirrels who were on the weight pile eating stolen nuts from the chow hall. The squirrels whispered to the chipmunks. The chipmunks whispered to the assaulted cat who was tempted to eat them but decided to be good. Now, the sexually assaulted cat is on board and decided to jump the prison fence and whisper to the animals living outside of the prison camp. Now, B.F.S. has an army on the prison camp whether Lady Villainess gets her unlawfully terminated or fired or if she is allowed to stay and be confined to the gatehouse for duty with no access to the prison camp. No matter what, the playing field is now leveled and both armies are strategizing, good versus evil.