PAIN INTO PASSION

This is the story that begins with the worst day of our lives, but turns into a lifetime of optimistic new beginnings. It isn’t often that we hear of a mother choosing her daughter as someone who inspires her; it’s usually the other way around. If you asked my daughter, she may have chosen me, for reasons of her own.

I graciously have chosen my youngest daughter DestinyReigns, because she has shown me courage, strength, knowledge, and perseverance in our time of enduring sorrow. December 31, 2013 is to this date, the worst day of our lives. It was not until January 15, 2014 when the call came that my middle daughter, her sister and best friend, and my two grandchildren, her niece and nephew, were found deceased in their suburb of Columbia South Carolina, white-picketed fence, humble turned haunted, household. It would be a murder-suicide caused by the husband and father of the family. Yes, my middle daughter’s cowardly husband killed them all, as well as his miserable self. My daughter did not know she had married someone who was schizophrenic. (Well she didn’t know in the beginning). We would later find out that issues from his past began to resurface, so he meticulously planned the heinous crime. My granddaughter was found in the nursery bedroom, asleep in her crib, my grandson in car-themed bedroom, asleep in his youth bed, and my daughter found in the husband/father’s arms in their bed, in the master bedroom; all of them with one single gun shot wound to the head. The emptied gun was found by their side, with gun powder on his hands. Full bottles of psychotropic medication prescribed in the husband’s name, were found in the medicine cabinet, indicating he was not taking them. This and other explicit descriptions, including on the internet, have become etched in our minds, and our lives have changed forever.

This was the worst thing ever to happen to our otherwise wholesome family. Destiny, 24 years old at the time, my youngest daughter of 3, in the picture shown, was her best friend, and inexplicably devastated is an adjective understated, to say the least. I could have died receiving this news by phone, but I was forced to survive because I had three other children to love, and could not put added grief upon them. What we did not know was that though something so heartbreaking had taken place, we would gain depths of positive reactions and occurrences as we were left to survive our day-to-day existence in forever-mourning.

This tragic incident instantly began to serve what meaning and purpose we could possibly find. Destiny immediately began volunteering in several non-profit and private organizations, supporting families and individuals of domestic violence, in various communities in New York City. Becoming literate and well-spoken as to the causes and effects of domestic violence, Destiny realized that she too, had been sexually assaulted, and involved in violent intimate partner relationships. She began to march, most notably The Bride’s March, honoring a woman killed on her wedding day. She spoke on that day with The Bronx Borough President Rueban Diaz, by her side. She spoke eloquently at various venues and events around the city, to promote awareness, hope, and survival for domestic violence victims. After two years, she landed a prestigious job at The New York City’s Mayor’s Office Division to Combat Domestic Violence, as a Peer Educator. She would be assigned to travel daily throughout the five boroughs to schools, group homes, and other organizations to teach and encourage healthy intimate partner relationships to citizens of a myriad of ages, gender and race, for violence amongst partners does not discriminate. During her five year employment, and afterwards, she would touch and influence the lives of thousands throughout the city. She would be asked to speak at private events within the tri-state area. She has visited and taught audiences even as prominent as the television station MSNBC with Tamron Hall, (prior to her departure) who too, has lost a sister to domestic violence.

Destiny also saw the dire necessity to speak out about the need to promote male mental health. Many men do not believe poor mental health exists, and/or have shyed away from their need for awareness and treatment. Destiny began to realize the gravity for men, even with whom she has had relationships, may have been compromised by destructive mental illness, who may have needed to seek mental health therapy, and/or the need for stabilizing medication. She herself began to receive psychiatric therapy, which she credits as a part of her healing to date; thereby recognizing the benefits it can provide for men and women alike, at any age. Even now, at 30 years of age, in the raw and real comedy she performs, she expresses what therapy can do for anyone, proudly giving kudos to her therapist.

Today Destiny has realized that The Mayor’s Office was too stifling for her fate and ventures. She is still an educator, writer, comedian, actor, activist, rapper, and feminist, pursuing world-wide audiences to open minds, and perceive perspectives to enhance and empower the lives of others.

DestinyReigns Genesis (meaning meant to live from the beginning), has turned her pain into a passion to continue to touch audiences from theaters to the world-wide web. This is why my daughter Destiny is my Shero.