Older people helping to bring up children, to keep these three bottom line

The old people are very hopeful that they can "old used", and the love for the children is also very deep, so party their children have a small baby, the old people often take the initiative to help children with children, to reduce the burden of their children with children.

However, the elderly in helping to bring up children must keep the three bottom lines, if the three bottom lines can not keep, then there will likely be an "effort not to please" the situation.

The first bottom line: the elderly should be clear, they are elders, not nannies

I had a neighbor when I was a child, we had a very good relationship, so much so that I and her brother and parents are also very familiar, usually will often visit the door.

And now that we are all grown up, Xiaoping married out of town, but her brother is still local, also married, Xiaoping's sister-in-law gave birth to a child, and Xiaoping's parents are also very excited to help Xiaoping's sister-in-law with the child.

In my eyes, Xiaoping's brother's family is very happy: Xiaoping's brother works, Xiaoping's sister-in-law raises the body, Xiaoping's parents with the baby, and everything is so harmonious and happy.

However, these are only superficial phenomena. Later, when Xiaoping's mother found my mother complaining, I learned that Xiaoping's parents were not happy.

It turns out that Xiaoping's parents went to Xiaoping's brother's house to help Xiaoping's sister-in-law take care of the baby, very dedicated, not only completely taking care of all the things with the baby.

Such as coaxing the child, holding the child, changing diapers, washing diapers, and so on, but also taking on all the household chores, including the family laundry cleaning, sweeping and mopping, cooking and washing dishes, and so on.

At first, Xiaoping's sister-in-law is still more grateful to the two old, but over time, Xiaoping's sister-in-law is used to this state of life, thinking also slowly changed, thinking this is what the two olds "should do", so the mood of gratitude to the two old slowly declined, even after, if the two old did not cook on time, or cleaning, etc., are The two old people will be criticized by Xian Y's sister-in-law from time to time.

They pay a lot, but not sister-in-law Xiaoping read well, which makes the elderly very sad.

When it comes to this, many people may feel that Xiaoping's sister-in-law is a bit unaware of things. But in fact, people have such life inertia, when something has been there for a long time, people will think it is supposed to exist. And this time, if things have changed, then people will condemn the person who caused the event to change.

Therefore, if the elderly want to help their children and not be "sad", it is best to control the "release" of their love for their children in general, so that the children always understand that the elderly are elders, not nannies so that the children will be grateful for the elderly to make The children will be grateful for the contributions made by the elderly, to be able to realize that many things are not the elderly should do, but the elderly to help themselves to share to do.

The second bottom line: the elderly should understand that the times are progressing and the concept should be updated

When talking about some of the problems of modern society, I often hear my mother say something like, "I thought we were ...... back then," for example, when talking about children's diets, I say that children should eat a nutritious diet and have more variety when eating every day.

And the old man will then say, they were able to eat white rice at that time thank God, usually do not even eat enough rice, what nutrition can not care, this is not well grown so big it.

In fact, like this phenomenon, in many families nowadays have appeared, many elderly people will feel that they are experienced, with children, do not like to listen to the views of young people, bent, think they have brought children, their own experience is the most accurate.

However, if the elderly have been in this position to bring up children, then there will be the result of "effort but not pleasing", and this situation is very common.

For example, there is an old man in the summertime worried about the child's being "cold", so three layers of clothes are wrapped around the child, eventually leading to heatstroke.

There is also an old man with a child, the child was accidentally trauma, and result in the old man had a handful of dirt to paste up said to stop the bleeding, the result almost did not infect.

The most impressive thing for me is the incident of our child's wrist trauma.

The child's grandfather was bringing up the child and felt that the child was very "capable" of climbing the family locker, and the child fell and broke a water glass, the glass of the water glass will cut the child's wrist out of a deep wound, and the fat is leaking out.

The child's grandfather used the family drink white wine to "disinfect" the child, and then put on the sugar "treatment" after the child said sleepy, the child's grandfather let the child go to sleep.

I came home from work to see this scene, I think the sky is falling, rushed to take the child to the hospital emergency. Fortunately, I came home early and the child ended up with a scar.

Sometimes, the elderly need to update their philosophy, because the elderly when they were young no condition, is a helpless act. And those behaviors are completely incorrect now. Therefore, the elderly with children, whether the idea or emergency approach, need to keep up with the times, do not rely on the old man.

The third bottom line: the elderly should pay attention, or not bring, to bring to be serious

When I returned home during the summer, there was an incident in my hometown.

At that time, the neighbor's grandmother Wang was at home with her grandson, the result the neighborhood called Wang grandmother to play McMahon tiles, so Wang's grandmother took her grandson go.

As playing McMahon, Wang's grandmother's spirit is too focused, so did not notice, the child because for a long time seeing the grandmother playing is very boring, a person left alone.

And when Grandma Wang came back to her senses, only to find that the child was missing. However, at this time, the grandmother did not leave the card game, but continued to play cards, thinking only "the child is expected to go home".

As a result, the old man came home in the evening and couldn't find his grandson, came to ask Wang's grandmother, Wang's grandmother panicked, and rushed to mobilize neighbors together to find him, the results looked for several hours, only to find the child in the river ditch at the edge of the village when the child was playing in the water with several other children, there is no adult around.

Luckily, this time it's okay, but not everyone is so lucky, I'm sure we can see a lot of tragedies on TV because of the inattentiveness of the elderly with children.

Therefore, the elderly should pay attention to, do not want to take the baby do not take, since the baby will take seriously, and do not lose this bottom line.

Written in the end

There is nothing wrong with being an elderly person who loves their children, but when helping their children with their children, they must pay attention to these three bottom lines. If not, either the effort is not pleasing, serious may also hurt the baby's health, and the ultimate loss is not worth it.