My Sister, My Aunt and My first Best Friends

Today while I spoke with my sister Antoinette, I showed here what I have shared so far in the story I am telling here. Antoinette is my half sister and an integral person in my storied beginnings. She was tied into this whirlwind of a household I grew up in early. I was nearly 5 by the time my family made it to Jacksonville. Antoinette was going on 11 in fifth grade. We had the typical sibling relationship between a little brother and big sister. We loved each other as much as we annoyed each other, as you would expect from a tween and her kid brother. I will admit I was a pain in her ass in those years though because I was spoiled as fuck as the baby of the kids (sorry sis).

My sister was from Dad's first marriage to her mother Paula. Paula and Dad were sweethearts married for a short time in high school, though to hear my dad tell it, it was a relationship from hell. At Least that's the story he told my mother when they were dating. (In hindsight I am rolling my eyes writing this.) In 1993 we moved into a new house in a nice suburban neighborhood only 15 minutes from Jacksonville Beach. It was a beautiful starter home for a family of 5. Memories of the time are full of family gatherings, boxing PPVs, and football games. I honestly think those were times when we had the most peace. It was the calm before the storm. I didn't know then that the Florida hurricane season was nearing.

Both of my parents worked at the time, my mom at an office job and my pops at the local commissary. I would sometimes go from school to my Aunt's house a short 10 minutes away. My father's older sister introducing my parents is probably one the main reasons I have life. I introduce you to my Aunt Tracy. Aunt Tracy was my mom's best friend back when they were in the Marines when my mother was stationed in Southern California. She was a college graduate, mother of two, and married to a fellow Marine my Uncle Joe (more on him later). She was always cool and laid back, and she always showed love in many ways through affection, tough love, and valuable teaching moments. I would say she is one of the reasons I turned out alright for a hot mess of a man. Even now she has been one of my biggest supporters and I'm thankful for that.

Her house was my home away from home. It was the one place where I didn't feel like I was on eggshells. Whether with her or my cousins, it was easy to forget the turmoil that occurred in my regular home life. I lived for those days of coming over and watching the same Disney movies a thousand times, fighting over the TV remote, eating a bunch of sugar and crashing on the pull-out couch. We would constantly bicker amongst ourselves like kids do but we knew better than to call one another stupid around my Aunt. She believed the word stupid was right up there in the list of explicit words. She instilled in us that calling someone you care about "stupid" is off-putting and devaluing of their character. If they are your true friends, you don't bring them down, you build them up. This is a message I take with me always.

Thinking back on the times, we got that key reminder often because we would butt heads as kids do. I was a big kid for my age and remember making Autumn mad when I messed up her bike and her training wheels. I was too big for the bike and Aunt Tracy told me to stay off of it. Autumn called me fat, so I told her she was short, and we bickered back and forth until one of us called the other "dummy" and the other retorted with "stupid." Swift as a coursing river Aunt Tracy whacked us both upside our heads and I visualized my ancestors shaking their head in disappointment. My Aunt isn't a violent person but she did (and still does) demand respect, especially in her house. She made us apologize to each other, clean up our things, and sent us to bed early on a Friday night. The lesson I learned that day was that words (especially ignorant ones) have consequences. No matter how big or small you may think they are, you never know how much is weight they carry for the other person.

To be Continued