My Marriage Feels More Like Roommates (I Feel Like A Roommate In My Marriage)

Do you remember when there were no children in your life? Hanging out with your spouse was your first priority. You had fun going on dates. You had time to talk and share with each other your day's events. And sex was something you looked forward to. And then along came Ryan or Megan, and then maybe Benjamin or Kaylee. Suddenly, life became centered on your children. Time for each other as a couple was rare.

If you and your spouse plan to be a happy couple after the children have left, you need to grow and connect with each other today. While there are no guarantees that you and your spouse will be one of those cute, old couples in "When Harry Met Sally," there are things you can do to increase your odds.

When I think of the marriage ceremony, the unity candle is an excellent symbol for what should happen in marriage. Two candles (two people) come together to light one big candle (one team). A healthy marriage has unity. Always think of your spouse as a teammate. Create a marriage with a shared vision and shared goals.

Your husband should be your best friend, and you should be his. Your marriage is a place for intimacy, and being intimate means sharing completely and honestly who you are - your feelings, likes and dislikes, your dreams, and what is important to you. Intimacy happens when both people can share anything and feel safe in doing so. You and your spouse will always be growing, so take the time to understand each other in every way - socially, emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually. Intimacy is only achieved by spending time together regularly.

Safety in marriage comes from knowing you can trust your partner completely. Being trustworthy means you love and respect your spouse. You keep your commitments and strive to treat each other with compassion and understanding. Your spouse needs to know without a doubt that you are not going anywhere, even when the going gets tough.

Every marriage has conflict and every couple has differences. In my marriage, we fight over disciplining the children, among other things. If you are going to grow and connect with your spouse, you have to learn to work through your disagreements. Make every effort to understand each other. Understanding comes about when you can listen with your heart. It's so much easier to brainstorm win-win solutions when there is a clear understanding of what is important to each partner.

Speaking of differences, the healthy couple accepts and embraces each other's strengths and weaknesses. If you think about it, there is a positive and a negative to every quality. I have a lot of compassion, but sometimes I am too sensitive. My husband provides structure in our family, but sometimes he is too rigid. When one spouse has a perceived weakness, often times the other balances it with a strength. For instance, my flexibility and his structure often conflict. However, our family needs both. Encourage the development of your spouse's strengths and be patient with the weaknesses.

When you spend time getting to know each other and sharing yourself, you will naturally feel affectionate. Sexual intimacy is an important element in marriage. In order for women to desire sex, there needs to be healthy emotional intimacy. And men, unfortunately, achieve emotional closeness through physical intimacy. It is important for each partner to work to satisfy the other's needs. Make the time to ignite the passion.

It is important for a couple to grow together, but it is also important for each person in the marriage to grow individually. It takes a lot of hard work and maintenance to make your marriage thrive, but it is well worth it. Your children need a model for a healthy marriage. And, when the children have left to start their own lives, won't it be nice to look at your spouse and say, "I want to spend the rest of my years with you, my friend?"

5 Effective Ways to Spice-Up Your Married Life

You might think that your relationship with your spouse is doing well simply because you are not having any occasional fights like most couples do. But the question is this - Do you think you and your partner is still happy with your marriage? Perhaps, you feel jaded about your boring relationship now, so here are the most effective ways to bring back the spice back in your married life.

Travel

The best advice in keeping your married life exciting is to set aside some time together as a couple. But do not just be contented with going out for a simple dinner at a restaurant or watching movie together. Book an overnight stay at a first class resort, or take a leave from work and travel to some faraway country for several days or weeks!

Socialize with Other Married Couples

Attending dinner parties along with other married couples could actually help to bring back the spice in your marriage. Experts say that seeing your partner socialize with other people in a crowd could help to remind you of the things that attracted you to him/her. Looking at your partner talking, laughing and interacting with other people could help to rekindle the memories when you were still in the early stage of your relationship.

Have Some Intimate Moments

Intimacy is necessary in every marriage, so you must always make time for intimate moments with your spouse regardless of how busy you are. Intimacy is what makes couple feel attached to each other, and such attachment is very important to keep the love alive. You may choose to schedule your intimate moments together if you both feel too tired to think of doing it during busy workdays.

Make them Feel Special

Sometimes, married life can become so dreary that we tend to ignore the sweet moments that we are suppose to enjoy with our spouse. Despite how busy you may be at work, you should still maintain the romantic gestures that you and your spouse once shared. So send thoughtful text messages every now and then, or perhaps, leave flirty voice messages on his cell phone.

Work as a Team

Another way to keep the fire burning within the relationship is to consider each other as a teammate. So always instill teamwork in everything that you do and in every decision you are going to make. And in the event that you two do not go along with your decisions in life, always be open to discuss things with your spouse, just like team members would do.

They say that married life is just good on the first few stages. Well, this is not always the case if you just knew how to keep the love burning despite of how long you two are together. So follow these tips now in order to have an exciting and long lasting married life.

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