My dear mother

My dear mother, Sushma Kumar, left for heaven more than two years ago. I miss her every day. I love her very much. The following is a brief tribute to her.

My mother was born in Jaunpur, India, on September 13, 1951. As a child she lived in different cities because her father would have different postings over the years as he worked for the Uttar Pradesh state administration. My maternal grandparents were very fond of my mother and her three siblings.

As a young woman she was very pretty. All her friends and relatives liked her a lot. In December 1976 she married my father in Lucknow, India. My father would go on to do different jobs in India and in other countries so every few years we would move to another place. My mother supported my father and took very good care of my younger sister and me.

After living in a few countries and then returning to India for several years we finally immigrated to Canada in 1995. We were very happy to immigrate to such a nice and lovely country. My mother was the first to make friends with our neighbours. Even after many years whenever people would meet me they would say, ‘Hey, are you not Sushma’s son?’ I was always glad to be known as her son.

The first few years in Canada were difficult because as a family we were gradually establishing ourselves and adapting to a new country. My mother was the pillar of our household and would always take care of us. I remember often I would have 8:30 am university classes so I would leave my home by 6:30 am. I told her not to wake up for me but she would always wake up and ensure I had breakfast and/or pack me a lunch. I told her I would do that myself but she insisted on doing these nice things for me.

In 2002 she was visiting her brother’s house in Lucknow, India, and she got severely injured. She later returned to Canada with my father in September 2003. She was very ill. After a few months she had to go and stay at a nursing home as per her doctor’s advice. That was very difficult for us as a family but for her good we all agreed with the advice. We would visit her 3 or 4 times a week and she would come for 2 or 3 days every alternate week. This went on for years.

Later my wife and my sister’s husband joined our family and my mother was extremely happy to meet them. Afterwards she was even more delighted to be a grandmother to my two children and to my sister’s two children.

For many years her health was gradually improving but in 2017 she became very ill. This illness prolonged for nearly two years and unfortunately she died in January 2019. Her death was the saddest thing that ever happened to me. I have experienced a lot of sadness before as well but her death superseded all other sad events in my life.

When we had a funeral service for her in January 2019, many friends, neighbours and relatives came to attend. It was very sombre and everyone remembered her. I was touched that she was loved by so many people. I gave a brief speech remembering her. It was difficult for me not to cry during the speech.

It has now been over two years since she left for heaven. In my religion we believe in reincarnation. If there are reincarnations then in each of my subsequent lives I would like to be my mother’s son again and again. I would like to thank her for all the love and care she gave me. She was an excellent mother. My life has been enriched by her, her love, her care and her memories.