My dad was one of a kind

Plenty of fathers are the heroes who don't wear capes for so many children. At the opposite end, there's fathers that ditch their families and aren't part of their children's lives. My father was somewhere in the middle of the spectrum of all of it. He was there if I needed him but he wasn't around for much of my life.

I'm sure my dad never really wanted kids. I was actually an unplanned thought in both my parents plans. My father still took care of me and my mother. One of my earliest memories, if not my first, involved him. I look back at it with fondness. We were watching a scary movie, Willard, in the dark. I figured out later that I was way too young to watch it. At one point of the movie, a guy was being eaten alive by a bunch of rats. I looked up at my dad with a horrified look on my face. He just simply told me it was all fake. I will forever believe this one moment flipped a switch in my head that allows me to not let things bother me, frighten me, or surprise me. I take things with stride and I'm able to handle whatever comes my way.

Beyond that, I remember the fun interactions during family gathers, holiday parties were fun, and him and my mom getting married. I made such an adorable ringbearer at five. Before Taco Tuesday was a thing, we always had tacos while we watch Monday Night Football. He made the best tacos and I kept that ability too. He even instilled in my head to not write so small. I was trying to fill out a crossword puzzle and he told me there was so much room so it should be used. It helped me understand that I should write so it can be seen well. There was a time a crow hurt his wing in our backyard. He nursed it back to health. This was during the time that Nintendo came out and we both go pretty into video games.

All that didn't last too long though. When I was 9, they split and I barely saw him. We'd go to his place every once in a while for dinner and hanging out. There was one day that I went into his refrigerator and found something that looked like chocolate. I asked him what it was and he said rat poison. He had a very sarcastic, dark sense of humor. That part still resides in me too. Later I found out that it was actually chocolate cover orange gelatin sticks from Trader Joe's. They were delicious and still love to buy them to this day.

When I was 11, he came back to live with us. We had some good times then too. Many days he would pick me up from school. We went home, made nachos, and watched Gargoyles on TV. The nachos were something else. Nothing major but we had a thing that every chip had to have every ingredient on it. It was just chips, beans, ground beef, and cheese topped with Juanita's hot sauce but it was all delicious. Many days he would spend hours playing Super Nintendo games.

Alas, a little while later he was gone again. I never blamed him for anything or was ever mad at him. He just wasn't that much of a people person. I knew he love both of us with all his heart but just wasn't able to be around people very well. When I was 13, my mom married again. He was a complete asshole and I hated him. That's a whole other story to delve into though. With him around, I really didn't see my dad at all.

Although, when I was about 15 I found out my mom was still talking to him and the next father's day I took him a six pack of his favorite beer and we spent hours together playing video games. He introduced me to Silent Hill and I fell in love with it. Even though he was less than three miles away, I still didn't see him too often. It was maybe only two to three times a year. Looking back now I wish I could've had spent more time with him.

In December of 2003 he got sick. He got some sort of stomach bug and was sick for about a week. I was at a shopping center and I got a call from my mom. She had that tone that mom's have about something being wrong. I rushed home to be told he had passed away the night before. We went over to his apartment and he was just laying there on his couch as if simply asleep. I kissed his forward and said my goodbye.

Alas, he was gone once more. This time he was coming back. I played "My Immortal" by Evanescence at his memorial service and we placed him to rest. To this day, 18 years later, every time I hear that song, it still gets me. It is a guarantee I will tear up a little and if I'm alone I will be bawling. And every time I see Jeff Goldblum, he reminds me of my father every time. He had a similar jaw structure and tall lankiness to him.

Even though he wasn't around all the time, I will still cherish the times we did have together. Every moment was precious because deep down I knew that it was a fleeting moment of time for us together.