My Babies

I had 6 pregnancies. 3 babies. I totally believe in folic acid working miracles. The 3 miscarriages I had I never took folic acid; the 3 successful pregnancies I did. My 1st pregnancy occurred the summer before I married while working as a Pesticide Sprayer. I woke up one morning spotting and in pain. So Alex, my fiance at the time, and I did not go out spraying. I was in severe pain. I handle pain well, but this pain was bad. I had horrible cramps. I ended up going to the hospital. It was a waste of time. They did a urine pregnancy test but not a blood test. I was probably only about 2 or 3 weeks pregnant. We went back to the hotel room where I was hurdled over in agony for the rest of the day. A hot bath did not help. I do not remember if the pain was only that one day or if it lingered. When I got back home I ended up seeing my family doctor on the advice at the hospital. My family doctor figured, after hearing my symptoms and upon examination, that it was an ectopic pregnancy. So luckily I miscarried it myself and further complications did not occur.

Then a few weeks later I became pregnant again. I got pregnant very easily when I wanted to. Not sure if I was very fertile or it was Alex or just both of us. I did not need to be ovulating to conceive. And I knew I was pregnant before any pregnancy test could tell me. I know my body well. I could feel the changes right away. I ended up spotting a few days before we were to leave to get married. I think it was the day before we left that I went to the washroom and this embryo looking type thing was on my pad. It was gross and a dark grey color. Freaked me out. I remember crying in my parent-in-laws hotel room the next day as this was my 2nd miscarriage so I assumed I was doomed to not carry children. I must have been about 10 weeks pregnant for this loss with the size of the 'thing' that came out of me. My family doctor reassured me that the only reason my body miscarried is because the 'baby' wasn't healthy. That made me feel better.

Then, on my honeymoon I conceived. 9 months later, my 1st daughter, Macayla was born. Due to my heart condition, my pregnancies were made into a big deal. Someone with cardiomyopathy having a baby, did not happen much. My cardiologist had no concern with my medication so continued to take that. I was monitored with my family doctor for the first half of my pregnancies but then had to go to the city to see a obgyn monthly, then biweekly, then weekly as the pregnancy moved forth. I had too have extra cardio testing. Had ultrasounds more often to make sure baby was okay. There was a lot of appointments. But, they did take good care of baby and I to make sure nothing bad was happening to either of us. None of the 3 kids showed any heart defects while in utero.

So, back to the order of my children. When Macayla was just under a year old I decided was ready for baby #2. So condoms were no longer needed again. I ended up losing an early one again. Was less than 6 weeks I think. My doctor still wanted to perform an ultrasound to ensure my body miscarried properly. Then soon after I got pregnant again and had morning sickness at 4 weeks indicating that yes this pregnancy was going to stick. However, throughout all pregnancies I was always afraid of miscarrying. I checked more often than not to make sure I was not bleeding.

It ended up being 20 months after my 1st daughter was born, that my son was born. I went into the hospital in March for an induction. From 32 weeks until at least 38 weeks my boy was breech but thankfully he turned a couple days before the doctor was to decide to book for a c-section or not. Four days before I went into to have my boy I was 1cm dilated. The morning of induction I was 3cm. Therefore the induction drugs went from the strip which I had for my 1st born to the drip since my body was more ready. While waiting for all these decisions the induction process finally began. I started having contractions immediately after the drip was started. The contractions were not registering on the machine though; although I was trying to hide the pain the nurse noticed it. 3hrs after the induction drip was started I only dilated another 1cm; was now 4cm dilated. All the doctors wanted me to have an epidural so me and my husband decided for it. They started to put in the epidural. A student tried and did not succeed; the insertion of an epidural is very painful! So after the student repeatedly poked me with no success the anesthesiologist came in and tried higher on my spine. Still no! Finally the 3rd try from the anesthesiologist it worked. The pain of the epidural and increased contraction pains was not enjoyable. At this point my breathing rate increased and I was close to screaming in pain. A nurse asked what the pain felt like. I told her that I needed to poop and a baby was coming out. But once again, like with my 1st born a doctor was not present when it was time to push. I tried not to push but it was so hard so the nurse told me to go ahead and start pushing. I had to push harder to get my 2nd born out as he was up higher than ideal. They were prepared to use a vacuum but thankfully did not need it. The doctor, which was coincidentally, the student doctor for Macayla's birth, was the one who ended up delivering my boy. She is the doctor that came because she had just finished delivering next door as the doctor who was to deliver this baby was busy as they did not expect me to proceed so quickly. Another weird fact: I had the same nurse for both the 1st n 2nd born babies! And the hospital was in a city!

Overall, for my boy I was in labor for 4 hours and dilated from 4 to 10 cm in about an hour. Hence the epidural for the 2nd baby was pointless But my legs were frozen AFTER he was born…..fun. My son, Mason, came into the world and the doctor laid him on my belly while she dealt with the umbilical cord. Mason did not cry. Mason's Dad was worried, but I knew he would be fine. The NICU people took my boy to the corner since he was not breathing. The NICU team fixed that and cleaned him up. Then he was placed back on my tummy to be with Mommy since he was stressed from the previous minutes. Daddy took a picture of him there while I delivered the placenta. I was shaking badly from the adrenaline so let my husband hold the boy first. My son was very wide eyed and very alert, right away. We were released, once again, less than 24hrs after birth. After getting him home he basically slept straight for 48 hours. On day 3 at home, Mason finally stopped sleeping as much and once more was very alert at any light or sound turning his head towards the source. Mason was born 6lbs 5oz. Very fair skinned with a little bit of brown hair. He was born with large feet though; almost 3 inches at birth! His hands were large in comparison to his very tiny body as well.

For the case of the epidurals doctors ended up wanting me to have an epidural for all 3 kids. They were worried my heart could not handle labor. My heart, though, had no problems. I had the 1st 2 babies without an effective epidural. The 3rd baby, though, I did have an epidural placed properly and in advance, and........it was heaven!! But, I do love I got to basically experience natural birth as well.

I handled my 1st 2 pregnancies very well. I would say they were equal to most other women's pregnancies. However, I classify my 3rd pregnancy as hell. I was sick for 9 months. Tired for 9 months. I remember napping all the time leaving my young preschoolers to play alone. I felt like I was a horrible mother. I rarely ate or drank while pregnant with my 3rd. I drank as much powerade as I could to get some calories. Then I drank some of those ensure drinks to get some nutrients. I ended up staying at the exact same weight I was pre-pregnancy as I was when I was full term. I was losing weight until the final month when put on a few pounds. But, my 3rd pregnancy sucked. I very much regret some of the thoughts I had while Madison, my 3rd, was in my belly. I recall being so sick and tired and weak that I prayed for a miscarriage a few times, even at like 6 months pregnant. I felt and feel horrible for ever having those thoughts. I had had miscarriages, friends and family had had miscarriages - not a good wish upon anyone. But I was miserable. I was older which probably did not help. My heart was weaker. My cardiologist explained to me that I had 3 leaky heart valves; hence, my body was not handling the pregnancy well.

My third Baby, Madison was born 6lbs even. It did take a long while for all the induction and epidural process and such to start working and every time doctors had this new worry that this 'heart patient' was not going to be handle labor well. I had proved them wrong before! So just after midnight my husband started to head home to watch the other kids as sounded like we were going to wait for the next morning to start the birthing process. Except after he left they decided to go for it so I called my husband, who was 20 minutes out, to come back.

But overall, it was awesome being in labor with my 3rd baby as it was super fast. I was in a nice large room as well as it was the newer section of the hospital, built since the 1st 2 births. The doctor who delivered the 3rd was male and was in the room before my baby came, a good thing as she was the smallest baby so she might have just fallen out! But, I was high and I do not remember much of the experience. I, however, remember once my baby was out the doctor asked me would I like to know if it was a boy or a girl (I found out before birth for the 1st 2 but not for the 3rd one). I told the doctor, "it's okay I know it's a boy." He said that it was a girl. I was SO happy because I wished it was a girl as my boy was so hyper but I was very confident I was having a boy! So a great surprise. I got Madison instead of 'Marcus.' Madison, unlike the 1st 2 babies was born in the middle of the night. So we had to stay over in the hospital for about 36 hrs before being released. It was very boring and lonely since my husband was at home with my younger 2. I remember Madison coming to me very soon after birth all yucky. She was laid between my breasts, skin on skin, and I was to sooth her and rub her to stop her shivering as they could not bath her because she was shaking and needed mommy’s touch. So that could have been the moment her and I bonded in a way I don’t feel I did as much with my older 2. And well because breastfeeding was successful this time.

Overall, my babies were all born small. Under 7lbs. But given a few weeks they started plumping out. By a couple months old, chubby. A few months later just fat! Macayla was the biggest baby, then Mason, then Madison. But birth weight wise that is the way they went as well. Macayla was 42lbs by 11 months old. Mason was 40 pounds by 11 months old. Madison, though, was only just under 30 pounds at 11 months old. But Madison was very short. Yes for her age but very much compared to her siblings. Macayla and Mason were over the 100%tile for their weight, but also for their height. I remember at one point this one doctor worried about Macayla. She was sent for tests. She was perfect. No diabetes or anything that was alarming. She was fat, yes, but once she started growing it all disappeared. So once a doctor mentioned any testing about Mason; I refused. He was big, yes, but I knew he would slim down. And he did. My family doctor was always amazing and had no cause for concerns but with female doctors they were off and on on maternity leave, so once in a while had to deal with idiot doctors.

I tried breastfeeding all 3 children. But I did not succeed until the 3rd baby. I was allowed to try breastfeeding Macayla when she was born. I had taken a quick course on it a couple months earlier but still had no idea how to do it. I was bleeding too much so they took her away after my 1st unsuccessful feed. They ended up coming back to ask if she could have some formula as she was hungry. Of course I said yes as was not going to have her be hungry. Finally a few hours later, while Macayla was in the nursery I was sent to a room. It sounded as if baby and me were not going to be together that night. I had her at 5pm. I was glad actually that I was going to get to rest and not take care of a baby, but, a couple hours later too many babies were born so they brought her to me. My husband was not there although I was the only one in the room it was a semi private so he was not able to stay over. I remember not wanting to take her. But I did. I do not remember if I tried breastfeeding further at the hospital or not. At home I remember trying to breastfeed on and off for about 2 weeks but it never worked. It was very hard emotionally. Me or no one around me knew what to do and it seemed I had no milk available. So she ended up being formula fed. I felt a little bit like a failure.

Then Mason was breastfeed exclusively once he was born for just under 24 hours. It was working. Was hard though as still barely produced any milk. Some people can’t produce - maybe that was me. The recollection of how emotionally draining it was for me to attempt the failed breastfeed of Macayla made me not even care to try. I was just going to enjoy the little newborn. Then while pregnant with my 3rd, Madison, and remembering how expensive and annoying bottle feeding was I researched on ways to breastfeed and how to increase my milk production. Whatever I did, it was successful. I breastfeed her exclusively for 7 or 8 months as she was not into solids. I continued to breastfeed her during the day until she was just under 2 years old. I even gave her nightly feedings until I acquired a job and had to stop when she was a few months over 3 years old. I had so much milk with this child. I took fenugreek a couple times at the beginning when I felt my supply was low whether I actually needed it or not. I lived in a small city, so access to breastfeeding help was easier. I was older so had more patience I felt to feed her. I also think having the beginning of contractions before induction helped as my body was more ready for birthing and lactating. I was induced before my body was ready for the first two, which I think, did not help the milk production.

I loved breastfeeding. Well I did after I passed the first couple months. For the first couple months it was painful and hard. But I had the milk so I was not going to give up. My breasts were sore. Nipples were cracked and painful, especially after that first latch every feed. And I felt all she did was feed. I basically had a newborn on my breast 24/7. But at the same time was sad that breastfeeding was so awesome after I became a pro that I was never going to breastfeed again. Sad that I never got to breastfeed the other two. I felt a different connection with Madison. There are arguments that say breastfeeding makes you closer to your child. That felt and feels like the case in my life. I feel closer to my youngest but I was also older when I had her so maybe the maturity or experience helped that feeling.

All my babies were good babies in the sense of no colic and none cried too often. But, a big but, Macayla was a horrible sleeper. She would rarely sleep more than a 2 hour stretch until she was probably close to a year old. She was, hence, always overtired, therefore, slept worse and worse and the cycle was never ending. Eventually it all got better. Mason was an excellent sleeper for the first couple months but only in his swing. He had yuckies in his lungs and nasal passages for a while after birth so probably why. Then his main issues until close to a year old was falling and staying asleep. And once I got him falling asleep he was the kid who had to be up by 5am every morning. So many times I had to drive Mason around for nap times. Even as a toddler we would need to force him to sleep by wasting so much gas. He was so active he needed a nap, but liked to refuse to take them. Both Macayla and Mason ceased to nap well before 2 years of age. They did not want to and if they did bedtime was no fun. Madison, however, thankfully was my best sleeper. She pretty much slept through the night right beside me. I co-slept with all 3 kids for the most part. But was easier to keep Madison asleep as when she was hungry or needed comfort in the night I would just snuggle up to her and she would feed. The other 2 I had to go warm up a bottle until they were old enough for just water in their bottles. That caused the most disturbance in their sleep patterns. Madison also probably slept better since she was night trained, potty-wise, since a month old. The other 2 would wake with wet diapers. But, Madisons bladder was awesome. She very very rarely urinated during the whole night. I even allowed her to sleep naked, which she loved, as no fear of her wetting the bed.

So my birth stories are pretty much run of the mill. I was very lucky to be fairly healthy and birth healthy babies. And although it was a headache with having them more than an hour away from home and having so many appointments and ultrasounds over and over I was lucky they took good care of me and my babies.