My Amazing Mama

The woman that I must admire in life, is the same woman to taught me how to be me. She is the one who to taught me how to love, who let me know that it is okay to cry, and who gave me values to cherish. This woman who is no longer among the living is still alive in me, she is very much a part of me, she was and still is… my Mama.

Let me tell you about my Mom. When she was a child she was the oldest of three girls. Their mother was abusive, and their father was not there to see it. He was a military man, he was a hard working man. The times he was actually home half of the time was not often enough to his girls. When he did finally stay home he and his wife were divorced.

My Mom was always a proctor of her loved ones, which I was not always happy about , but that was who she was. When she was a child she protected her two younger sisters when she took the beatings meant for them. Afterwards, her mother mad as hell, gave her her own beatings as well. When she was fighting cancer, she did not want it to be on me as a teenager still to have to take care of her, so she went to my aunts house after a surgery . When her other sister had barged in on my aunt and threatened her right in front of her young kids, and tried to push her. Before her husband could come inside from the barn, my Mom came to her rescue dragging along her oxygen tank with her. I was not too happy about that. She should have never been there to be put in that position in the first place. She protected me and a friend of mine when a much older man tried to touch and attack us, then came ponding on our door where we lived, but she was not worried for herself, her goal was to protect me, my younger sister, and my friend.

My mom was so understanding and always was there for me. I remember once when I was younger being upset and crying over my cheating dad leaving my most prized possession with his mistress. I was so upset that I cried and cried , I laid my head on my moms shoulder . I could not have felt worse, I was so down on myself because I was even crying in the first place. As my mom put her arm around me, she told me it was okay to cry and crying did not make me weak, instead it made me strong and I should NEVER EVER be ashamed that I needed to cry.

I did not know it at the time , because I was in NO way even thinking about having kids, but she really was teaching me how to be a great mom just like her.

She was mom and dad to me and to my sister too. She was the one who went on school field trips with me, she was the only one going to my school plays, programs, fundraisers, or school carnivals. She was the only one who went to important things like doctor visits or parent teacher conferences. She was the one who threw the birthday parties, wrapped the Christmas presents, and cooked the amazing family dinners.

She made the best home cooked meals, and she always put love into every little single thing she did. She was my mom, my dad, my rock, and my best friend. The day I lost her… I lost myself. My kids were the ones who taught me who I was again.