Mother´s Day will Never be the Same Again

To my guiding beacon, safest haven, hero...To my mother in heaven.

Mom, I miss you. Irreplaceable is your other name. Life has never been the same without you. I miss hearing your voice one more time.

Writing this letter isn’t easy. I am writing it with a heavy heart and teary eyes, and I hope the words won’t be soiled with tears.

Mother´s Day has never been and will never be the same again for me. My life took a complete U-turn as a young, innocent girl. I never enjoyed my childhood since life forced me to be an adult. No one prepared me on how to deal with grief; no one told me that you will never come back.

This month and year mark eighteen years since your demise. I must apologize to you for taking so long to write this letter. I hope you will read every word and see the raw part of me.

So soon you left me with millions of unsaid words and feelings that were not expressed. I know you never had intentions of leaving me, but life choose otherwise.

Still, why did God choose you to take? Why did you have to leave me mama? You took the whole of me with you the day you stopped breathing. I lost myself. I'm not sure if I will ever find myself again.

I know you are happy and free of pain. That has been my main solace. I hope heaven is a beautiful place for an amazing person like you. I pray and wish that life was kind to you during your last moments on Earth.

Mama, you were a true hero. As they say, "heroes never die" since they are alive in the stories of other people. Your childhood friends and classmates only know me through you. And that is how you are remembered.

You were known for many things, but your pure love, your compassion, and the way you used to interact cheerfully with strangers crowned them all. I hope I will be half the woman you were in my lifetime.

I am here to make you proud mama. I miss how you used to tell everyone who was willing to listen about me. The pride that you had in me was unmatched. I will always be your little girl.

Momma, I love you. I have a lot to tell you. I graduated five years ago, and I added another feather last year. I wish you were still here to celebrate the milestone with me.

Last year, I took a bold step and said, "Yes, I do," to the love of my life. Mama, he is such a great man. I'm sure you would have loved him. Together, God has blessed us with a very beautiful daughter. You are now a grandmother, and I can´t wait for my daughter to grow up so that I can talk to her about you.

I hope and pray that you are watching me from above, admiring my accomplishments, and sending hugs during my low seasons. Mama, you were my biggest fan and cheerleader. You were the first to teach me how to wash and cook nice food. Above all, you loved me with everything in you, the best gift you left me with. I promise to do the same for my beautiful daughter.

Mama, I love you, and I will not stop making you proud. With every decision and move I make in my life, I will honor you. I will always celebrate your dear life and salute you by being the very best version of myself.

I love you, my mama.

Forever your little girl.