"Mom, I'm shy." How you react can affect your child's life

"What a headache! My home this child timid and cat same, see a person hide, also don't say hello, don't know of still think she have no education!" On the weekend, we met Yuanyuan's mother taking her child out to play. Yuanyuan hid behind her mother and quietly listened to us exchanging small talk.I've actually heard Yuanyuan say more than once: "Mom, I'm shy." "There's nothing to be ashamed of! You've lost all your face! It's not fair!"But shyness really isn't unique to a child's development, noted psychologist Philip Zimbardo says in The Psychology of Shyness: "Four out of 10 people we meet are experiencing shyness. Shyness is a universal human condition, and everyone experiences it at some point or another.""Mom, I'm shy." Your reaction can affect your child for life

The way of reply like Yuanyuan's mother will make her child be firmly labeled as "shy and introverted". Over time, the child will mistake shyness as a character defect and develop a sense of inferiority, and she will become more and more shy.In fact, shyness and introversion is not terrible, but when a child has a sense of inferiority is enough to affect the future work and life.When a child displays shyness, the best thing a parent can do is to be understanding and encourage the child to express his or her true feelings.If the child simply does not want to greet an elder, parents can explain that the child is not ready, rather than blaming the child for being rude and shy.The best education is trust and understanding from parents. Parents can try to encourage their children: "It doesn't matter, next time mom introduces a friend to you, I believe you will be brave enough to say hello to them!"When the child next time really say hello to take this step, must wait for the guests to go after praise the child, not particularly exaggerated, matter-of-fact said: "you are brave today, all take the initiative to greet the guests, really fierce!"

Many parents especially envy others' lively and cheerful children, thinking that their shy children can become lively and angry by sending them to play with others, but most of the children are very resistant.Listen to expert advice, and parents take their children to spend a lot of manpower material resources "see", tourist attractions is the clock in a heap, mobile phone photo album also fast enough, but the children do not improve a bit shy at home like a "safe", the outside also not line, parents in addition to sigh a experts say is not right, the other can't do anything.But really wise parents invest their time in nurturing the parent-child relationship. Parental affirmation and timely response makes the child feel that whether I can or can't do something is worth something, that I can talk and think alone, that I can beat my own pace.Adler once said, "All one's life one seeks two things. One is belonging, and the other is worth."When you raise your child to be a high-value person, do you still have to worry about his character?The biggest problem with Chinese parenting is the irony of saying, "I don't believe you dare to speak in public," when parents want to help their child fit into a new environment and win a new challenge. Parents think it is a tactic of provocation, but in the world of children, it is parental distrust, and personal attachment is nothing left in the battle of tactics.Shyness is not a disease, but a child's self-protection mechanism, writes Every Child Needs to Be Seen: "Shyness pushes children toward their parents, cuts them off from ineffective social interactions, and rejects anyone who is not in their safe zone. So shyness is really a form of self-protection, protecting yourself from a child before they really mature