Memories from my Childhood

The school years of any child is a time for development in the life of the person. Children are very impressionable from the time they are born until they become an adult. My life as a child began in April 26, 1968 when I was born in the old Red Deer hospital.

My birth mother was Pam Mino who was just in her early 20’s when she brought me into the world. My birth father was also in his twenties and he was a tireman in one of the tire shops which was in Red Deer.

My birth father was married when he had a two year fling with my birth mother. He had told her that he had planned on leaving his wife so they could get married and spend the rest of their lives together.

People are not always very honest when they want to use a person who could be influenced very easily. My birth mother had schizophrenia from the age of eighteen. She was very dilutional which made her possible to be used. My birth father had a relationship with her for two years. He slept with her and he was the one who helped bring me into the world. When she found out that she was pregnant with me, he left her. This made her feel abandoned and alone.

So, she went to Ontario to be with her brother, David. Somehow, Alberta Social services found out where she was and there was a court order to have her transported back to Alberta.

It could be possible that her family had something to do with this order. There was no written record why this event did take place. She named me after her brother. He had helped her in a time of great need.

She was sent back to Alberta from the safety of her brother’s place right into the arms of Social services. She was deemed as unfit to look after me. When she gave birth to me, she was allowed to hold me for thirty minutes. Then I was taken out of her arms and she never saw me until my wife and I met her in Edmonton at a hotel in 1996.

The pain of losing her baby must have been so huge. She had three jobs and she was planning to look after me. Yet, her family intervened knowing that she could have a lot of problems in looking after me.

As I pondered about my situation, I often wondered how different my life would have been if she would have been allowed to keep me? I have on my other published books spoke of the attitudes that society at that time had about people who had schizophrenia. They were known as handicapped. They had the idea in their heads that these people were not capable of the responsibilities of what normal people were capable of doing.

It is very interesting how society has changed their attitudes towards how they view physical and mental disabilities.

In a way, I am happy that I was lead to join the Vanderwoude family way back in August of 1968. My adoptive Father and Mother were very nice people from Sedgewick which is two hours southeast of Edmonton. My adoptive Father was a peace officer and my adoptive mother was a homemaker.

They were apart of a adoption support group who helped each other find children for their families. From my understanding, there were seven members of this group. I was placed in the summer of 1968 while my younger sister, Deneena did not arrive until 1972. She was nine months old so, she must have arrived in the Vanderwoude home around September of 1972. I was four years old when she arrived in a red snow suite. I remember seeing her on the kitchen table in our kitchen.

In 1971, our family had went to the Netherlands for a visit. This was the first visit to my father’s family. My father had not been back there since he left in 1952 when he came to Canada. He arrived in June of 1952 in Halifax at the pier 21 of the Halifax harbour. He landed in Canada not knowing one word of English.

He travelled across Canada and ended up in Calgary. He met Mother in 1961 and married her July 15 of that year. Dad asked her to marry him on the second date. My older brother, Peter, was born on May 11 in 1962. My oldest sister, Joy, was born April 2 1965. I was born April 26 of 1968 and Deneena was born December 6 1971.

When I began to talk, I had a studder which I had until I was sent to a speech therapist in 1974. I was six years old and I went to see this lady in Camrose for a year. I still have my exercise books in the top drawer of my work desk. Mother helped me with my tongue exercises to help me talk without studdering.

As a result, I had to do grade one over two years. School was so hard for me. I struggled with school for most of my childhood. My comprehension was so low that I did struggle even when I tried to understand the material.

In grade two, I was always asked to stay after school to do some extra work. I remember one of the math problems which I had to solve. It was to separate a circle into three equal pieces. I can solve it today but back on those days I could not figure that out for the world of me. I remember the frustration as I looked at that circle over and over.

I wish so much that as a 54 year old, I could go back and visit my younger self. I would tell my eight year old self how I could solve that problem. I would let him know that when he gets older, he could solve problems like that one with ease. I would tell him that I should stand up to those kids who bullied me every day.

I would teach my younger self how to stand up and stop people from walking over me.

In grade three, we as a class took a field trip up to Edmonton. That was in the year of 1978 when our class went to Edmonton. We went to Fort Edmonton, rode the subway, went to some mall as well as we visited the new football place. The place was just completed. Then we went to McDonalds. I do believe I had a Big Mac, apple pie and a small milk. This did cost under five dollars. I do believe our church went to a ice performance at the ice arena. We also stopped at McDonalds. Joy wanted me to make sure that no one took her food while she used the bathroom. Well, I forgot and the lobby person took her tray. She sure was very unimpressed with my guarding of her tray.

My comprehension was very low and I am sure that I did not understand what she was asking me to do.

Grade four was music class with Mrs Burden. How could I forget the singing lessons as well as the recorder lessons. Then there was grade five which I remember the three desks which I had to store all my things. I was so messy that I lost my special Ed math assignment. I was kicked out of special Ed until I could find my math sheet. I told the teacher that I was so good that I got kicked out of special Ed. I had to apologize to Mr Bernard for losing my math sheet. I had to sit at the back and finish my math sheet before I could leave class for the day.

I remember during grade nine French class, we were asked to make a menu in French. I saw the menus at McDonalds and on Mother’s Day book so I made one up from what I knew. I wrote Breakfast, Lunch and Supper. Mr. Afforder snapped at me if I had ate in a restaurant before! I told him that I had ate at McDonalds which we did one time every summer in Saskatoon which Grandmother paid for.

The poor man thought that I had a screw loose in my head. He showed me how a real menu went.

I also looked after his cat while he was gone for around two weeks. He just lived down the back alley from where our family lived. Very faithfully, I went down the back alley in the dark and fed his cat. When it came to pay me, he gave me a jar of coins. My father was quite offended at the poor pay. I was so very delighted to receive some money from him. He was more generous than my own father.

The trips to the Netherlands which took place in the Summer of 1971,1973 and 1975 were life changing for myself as a child. Until I received help from a speech therapist who was located in Camrose, I had a very bad studder. I studdered a lot until that was looked after by exercises which Mother helped me with for hours. Most of my friends were imaginary which did not help with my social delevopment. I spent a lot of the time in my bedroom basically talking to my imaginary friends. My father thought that I paced my room like a caged lion. I did pace imagining my new friends which I chatted with all the time. Mommy, Ornkie and Lorne which was myself. Little Ted was my best friend who is a teddy bear who lives in his retirement home which is located on my business desk which is located in our bedroom.

My wife and I share with Little Ted his bedroom. Now, Little Ted has not ever spoken a single word and he is stuffed. On our honeymoon, at the hotel I forgot him in our room. To make a long story shorter, he rode home on the bus. My father told me that I was wasting good money on that thing. I should had just left it there. I am sure that he thought that I had a screw loose in my head. No, Little Ted, was my best friend who has been with me since I got him for my one year birthday. My mother wrote in my baby book that “Lorne has lately been attached to certain Teddy Bears. He seems to really like them so very much”.

Later in my work career, I tried explaining to one of my bosses my difficult past of being so denied of a social life. I was accused of writing too long of emails and was given a guideline of how to write work emails. Meaning my ex boss could not have cared too hoots of the pain which I went through. Later, she was fired by the company. Justice was served on my own eyes. She deserved to be fired and I hope she has learned from her mistakes. I sure have and I make sure I no longer write my bosses too long of emails. Bosses now a days do not care too much about their employees mental health. That is why they pay you to see a shrink. The motto should be, “They care so the company does not have to.” Well, that is what it is in reality.

The trips to the Netherlands really do stick out in my mind. In 1971, I was just learning how to walk. My Grandpa, had to place a horse harness around my waist in order to stop me from running away from him. I was running away from him and I managed to run through the open front door of an house and to run down the hall then out the open back door of each of the attached houses. Every old house had a front door with a hall which led to the back door. The doors in Summer were left open in order to air and cool each house down. This was in the early 1970’s and there was not too many who had air conditioning.

Uncle Mel was quite a grumpy old man. He would yell at us for feeding the goats. Our Aunt and Uncle lived in the back of where Grandpa and Grandma lived. They lived in what used to be the barn. This was converted into a house.

I do remember playing cowboys and Indians all with native head bands, cowboy hats and other things like toy guns and bow and arrows. Peter, my cousin used to say very infactually, “You are stupid”. My Father told me that this was the only English which he knew. Now, I do understand as an adult that he said those words without actually knowing what the words really meant. This reminds me of the movie “My fat Greek wedding” when the new groom to be asked how to say “How are you doing?”in Greek when he actually said, “Your breasts are so plump” I do believe he was given a very unimpressed look from one of the ladies while his teachers were laughing their heads off.

The one thing which stands out in my memory was the trips we took to visit our Uncle and Aunt which was at a windmill just outside of Holwerd. It was called De Hoop which means in English, The Hope in Dutch. My relatives looked after this government owned property and they lived in the house and there was a barn. My uncle milked cows and he looked after the windmill. I had dreams of going to this place walking along the road which lead from the huge hiway down to where the place was. Mother made sure that we crossed the huge hiway safely.

I seen pictures online of this place. I have a lot of memories of this place. I fell into the nettles off of a bike which was way too big for me to ride. I sure inched from those nettles but I sure never did that ever again.

The airplane was an orange CPR plane. The flight over to the Netherlands and back was very exciting. I remember the food on the airplane. Deneena in 1975 was so very fussy even at three years old. I remember how fussy she was even at home. She had to have boiled eggs instead of potatoe salald, chocolate chip cookies instead of raisins and she did not like peas. However, there was not a food which I never liked. I loved most foods. Fried potatoes, peas and meat balls which I put ketchup on. The rubbarb cooked fruit was good. I really liked her Chicken and Rice and Sweetish meat. Porcupines was meatballs with rice in it in a tomatoe sauce. I did not like liver night. The liver was like shoe leather. There times when mother made pancakes for supper. The syrup and butter was so good and went down so smoothly. I found out later at a young peoples camp out at Moose Lake, that people had pancakes for breakfast along with sausages, bacon and sometimes there was whip cream and strawberries. This was very different for me as a child. Supper was our large meal of the day and my mother made it as good as she could possibly make it with the ingredients which father had provided for her to cook with.

The one favourite time which our family enjoyed together was when father would show his slides. He often showed them at Hobby club and when we had visitors at our house he also showed his slides. When we got together as a family, it was fun to see all the pictures of our holidays. The hair styles changed over the years. I have one of my fathers cameras with 900 pictures on this camera. My brother, Peter was given my fathers slide projector and all of his slides. At the last Christmas together at my sister place, we watched those slides for the last time together. We have not gotten back together as a family ever since that Christmas. I do miss those times very much as a family. My parents are all gone so this type of event might not ever happen. It is just a fact of life.

On the whole, my childhood was very good. My father always made sure that we were fed and that we got an education. Mother cooked with what she had with what was provided for her to cook with. My father took us on holidays. I do miss those days so very much. I do enjoy being with my wife. She is my best friend and I will not trade her for anything else. My childhood memories are what we often have left. This is why I write articles to preserve all my memories so other people can read them for years to come. I do not want people to forget my parents. Often over time people are forgotten and life does March on. These are some of my memories from my childhood. I sure enjoyed writing this article and I sure hoped that you as the reader enjoyed reading all my memories.