Mary

Her body shook against the cold biting wind and she pulled her coat closer around herself. She was just walking and walking and had actually lost her bearings for the moment, but she just didn’t care.

Her phone vibrated in her pocket once more and she ignored it and kept moving on. Could what she had been told be true? Had her life just changed forever after one simple conversation with her consultant? Why was she being punished? She thought, it just wasn’t fair!

Mary had been born into a loving, caring but simple family. Not wealthy but not overly poor like her neighbours whose children had clothes that literally were rags. She lived in a warm council flat with her parents, her big brother and big sister both of whom she adored, and they adored her too. She was what the family called the whoops baby, but she never felt unloved or unwanted all she felt was acceptance. Her childhood memories consisted of happy Cornish holidays, street parties and bonfires. Charred jacket potatoes and hot soup from the bonfire parties and homemade bread rolls. The 70’s were a get time to be a child, the world a fun place to play in and Silver Jubilee parties with yummy food, cake and games. Long hot summers with standpipes in the street, no shortage of bread even with the bread strikes as every Mum learnt to bake it fresh instead. She smiled when she thought of one of her Mums attempts to bake bread and cook a roast dinner at the same time. The bread over rose and spread into the roast dinner dish in the oven it took hours to chip it off of the dinner and the walls of the oven! She could hear her Mum shouting and her Dad roaring with laughter, good memories.

The sudden gust of wind brought her back to reality and she realised she was soaked to the bone and freezing cold. She looked around for a familiar landmark so she could get her bearings and try and find some shelter. She was near Plymouth Hoe 8 miles from where she had started walking and as fatigue hit, she realised she needed to rest. The Squires bed and breakfast was the only B and B with lights on. Feeling nervous she popped her head around the door and asked if they had an empty room for the night, to her relief they did. The Whitfield’s seemed like a lovely couple, Mrs Whitfield loaning her a hairdryer and brush so she could have a hot bath and dry out. Mr Whitfield warmed some soup and took up to her after she was settled. She could feel every mouthful of soup slide down to her now grumbling, empty belly and for a moment she let out a sigh. The tears started once more and this time she didn’t hold back, she sobbed and sobbed until she must have finally fallen asleep.

The knock on her room door jolted her awake and she realised that she had slept through breakfast and her leaving time. She grabbed her now dry clothes and quickly got dressed and as she opened the room door there was Mrs Whitfield with a hot cup of tea and a breakfast. “No rush,” she said, “come down when you are ready”. Mary couldn’t believe how fortunate she was to have found this little oasis and refuge. She ate quickly and brushed through her hair. Taking the tray downstairs, she tried to be quiet and sneak out, she knew they had questions and she wasn’t sure what to say.

Mrs Whitfields voice made her jump, “Alright my lover? Do you need anything else?” Mary politely declined and turned to go. “A problem shared is a problem halved” Mrs. Whitfield said. “Do you fancy a brew and a chinwag me ansom?”

Sitting across the table of this lovely rosy faced woman made Mary think of her Cornish Nanny and sitting at her huge kitchen table as a child only there wasn’t any flour on this one nor pasties being made either. Mrs Whitfield broke the ice, “My names June, what’s yours? Let’s start there”. “I’m Mary,” she stuttered. “Well Mary my lovely what happens to be the problem then?” Before she could stop herself, the whole story poured out, the consultants phone call, the hospital visit the day before and then the result of her tests and why she just hadn’t handled the news well.

Mary met John through the local paper in the late 80’s while working as a housekeeper and stable hand for a local M.P. She loved the job and loved the children, dogs and horses left in her care on a regular basis. John seemed to be everything that she wanted in a husband, kind, funny, secure and stable. Wow would she regret that decision a few years later after he had battered her for the umpteenth time and could feel her head bounce off of a wall. She didn’t have a clue about the hidden man she married until just after the wedding when his darkness showed itself so clearly. She never saw the punch coming but she never forgot towels for a holiday ever again. It was years later that the result of this marriage was going to burst into her life and shake her to the core. She shuddered but was relieved that she had finally gotten the courage to walk away from him with their 12-month-old son.

Mrs. Whitfield wiped a tear away as Mary poured her story out and she reached out and took Mary’s hand in hers.

Mary looked up and noticed the time, a full 24 hours since being told. Mary had been suffering from black outs and seizures for months and her new husband wasn’t the most sensitive of men, (all of the tests and hospital visits plus him not being faithful meant her second marriage broke down even more spectacularly than her first marriage!) so she tried to play them down and not make a big deal of them but in the back of her head she knew something wasn’t right. She booked an appointment with her doctor who booked an appointment with a specialist and that’s when all of the tests started. They didn’t want to just throw medication at her before getting a proper diagnosis, so she plodded on having the occasional seizure and blackout. The phone call from the consultant yesterday was for her, the straw that broke the camel's back. As the words fell from her lips, she knew her life was changed forever. “Stress related seizures brought on from head injuries in her past!” Because John a man who claimed to love her had beaten her so badly, she had sustained head injuries and here and now a full 12 years later she was suffering from them once more! Talk about being punished for making a bad decision! Life was cruel sometimes and Mary was certainly feeling it was cruel right now!

She bit her lip as she tried to stop the tears falling from her red and swollen eyes. Mrs Whitfield passed her a tissue and said, “We all need a good cry every now and then my lovely, don’t you worry none.”

In one moment, she had lost her driving licence, her job, what felt like her independence and her lifestyle too. What was left for her now? Her two beautiful sons? Yes. The love of a good, hardworking man who was probably going insane looking for her? Yes…. Her love for art and teaching it? Hmmmm? Her love for art? Yes, she could still paint and create but teach? Will they let her teach anymore? Her head was whirling once more.

Mrs Whitfield just smiled and said, “Well there you go my lovely, two sons and a good man, that’s a good start and although it feels like your life has changed forever who knows what may come along and change it once more? Never be frightened of change my love, it’s the gateway to a new chapter and nothing more than that.” She smiled and handed Mary the phone, “Your family need to hear your voice. Let’s start there.”