Marriage Secrets

“if the purpose of marriage was to enjoy an infatuation or to make me happy, then I’d have to get remarried every 2-3 years.”

I remember being newly wed, bright eyed, with an indescribable feeling of joy in my heart. We were excited to catch a plane across the pond to the Dominican, and so, we woke up before the sun did, packed our bags, & headed out. Giddy with excitement, we hopped on the plane (we both love flying), and watched movies, cuddled, listened to music, & tried to get a little bit of sleep. Punta Cana was everything we could’ve dreamed for upon landing with clear blue water, sunny skies, palm trees on the horizon and full of smiling people. The week was amazing! We are way too much food, had our own private pool attached to our suite, danced the nights away & even swam with dolphins. (Side note, don’t use your iPad as a wine holder on the bed - that fluffy, amazing comforter turns super soggy & stained if you spill the wine 😂). And then, reality hit. We had made it home, back to plain ole life, work, & bills. One thing we didn’t plan on was me getting sick on the drive about halfway home. I had fever, chills, nausea, headaches, dizziness, and the likes. This was right around the time Zika was really big, but there was also malaria, yellow fever, parasites, & other things to worry about to.

I tell you this story to show you the roller coaster of marriage & life. We went from a super high, to a super low. My wife took care of me for the next 4-5 days like a champ, though. And that is today’s secret, Sacrifice/Service.

In the dictionary sacrifice means - an act of slaughtering an animal.... totally kidding, it is, “an act of giving up something valued for the sake of something else regarded as more important.” And we can learn from this, because our culture, it’s all about us, me, my good, and my rights.

In this minor example, she gave up her time, her energy, her phone, her activities, in order to take care of me. This was the first reality of her for me as a husband. We have to give up what we value as important, for the sake of something else in regards to being more important than our selfish desires.

Ask yourself these questions

• What can I give up to show my spouse that I regard their wants & needs as more important than my self desires?

• What are some ways you can show your spouse that you understand marriage is a two-way street, not 50/50, rather 100/100? I give my 100% to you, and in return you give your 100% to me.

• When you think of sacrifice or service, 1. What do you automatically think of? & 2. What are some MINOR ways to sacrifice / serve your spouse?

• List your priorities (there should only be 4-5) & then take some time to reflect on if your daily meeting these priorities in order. Be honest with yourself, because change is a good thing.

One cornerstone of marriage is sacrifice/service. Not out of obligation, but from love, grace, compassion, & humility. We often hear the stories on tv of hero’s who sacrificed in some way, whether it’s giving their life for someone else’s, or stopping a bank robbery, saving someone from drowning, and it touches our heart. Be sure to touch your spouses heart today by sacrificing & serving them wholeheartedly.

Marriage Secret #1 Sacrifice & Service

It’s not easy, often it’s not even noticed, but it’s vital for a healthy marriage!