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Marriage Expectation: Children

Whether You Have Them, Are Thinking About Having Them or Are Far From Having Them

By hailey clarkPublished 5 years ago 3 min read
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Before you start reading, this entry comes from a wife who is not yet a mother or even pregnant. This is coming from a girl who hasn't always wanted to be a mother, but is really thinking about it. This is also coming from a woman who is being pressured by not only her family, but society and social media.

Before we were married I thought children would be a long way into our marriage, maybe like five years or more. After all, we were only 23 and 24 when we got married. Even at the reception for our wedding we were asked several times when are you guys thinking of having kids. Sometimes I think people just need to mind their own business, but they never seem to. At the time, these were just some of our extended family, cousins and aunts.

Now, we keep getting asked by our own parents and grandparents along with most of our friends. I know it has only been two and half years, and that time has really flown by. I feel like before we do have kids, we both really do need to grow, each of us individually and together as a couple.

Of course, we have talked about kids. We know what our future four children’s names are going to be. We know where they are going to school and what we will do with our house when they are born. It would seem like we are ready for them.

About a year ago or so, we decided that we might as well give it a try. I stopped birth control and started tracking my cycle. We were so excited each month to see if we were pregnant. Every time, we were let down. You'd always hype it up, be so excited and happy. About eight months into trying it started to seem like a chore. I hated that and so did you. After constant let downs and mental exhaustion we decided to call it quits. I just wanted it to go back to the way it was before we started trying. It was so care-free and more relaxed. I am sure you would say that we had sex less, and you are probably right. But that’s not what it’s all about; it’s about having fun and being comfortable around each other.

I already know everyone is expecting us to "be expecting" soon. Half of that is my fault because I did tell some of my friends. I really thought it would have happened by now. We did try so hard for a long time. I really do believe that it wasn’t the right time. But at the same time I can’t help but think that there is something wrong with us. It wasn’t like I had a miscarriage or anything like that. I just think that we might have not been having sex at the right times.

I was becoming so jealous of anyone that was pregnant. My sister became pregnant and we always talked about having babies around the same time. Then they would be close in age. My co-worker became pregnant and she started trying after we did. I was in a really dark place and I didn’t want to be there. It wasn’t fair to me or my husband that I was constantly sad and stressed over this.

I just think that society and social media should be more open about problems that couples have when getting pregnant, carrying the child and when post-partum. If that happened, people wouldn’t be so quick to ask if you were expecting or when you're going to start having babies. Different woman go through different experiences. Not one pregnancy is the same.

At least we have a loving, energetic dog to keep us sane.

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About the Creator

hailey clark

Excuse the bad grammar, punctuation and spelling. Just trying to express my thoughts. Enjoy.

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