Marriage does not roll over the 4 traffic rules

　As we all know, good rules are protective, such as the "stop on red, go on green" rule, which is designed to protect personal safety and public safety. There are certain rules that should be set up in a marriage to protect both the couple and the children.

　　Personal hobbies and socializing should not interfere with marriage. It is good to have legitimate hobbies, such as reading, pet ownership, flower gardening, traveling, etc. Before you enter into marriage, your hobbies are up to you, and at most you will consider your parents' opinions. But after marriage, all your hobbies and social circles need to be bound by marriage. Because you are married, after marriage, it is no longer "yours" or "mine", but "ours", and you should no longer let your hobbies and social circles be free under the banner of freedom. The possible elements of your marriage and your partner should no longer be allowed to harm you in the name of freedom.

　　Take myself as an example, I've been a book addict since I was a child, and when I was single I was able to spend as much time as I wanted, but in the first few years of marriage, I had more conflicts with my wife. Later, through constant adjustment (arguments and communication), I could read books when they didn't need me much, and when they needed me, I had to be there for them as much as I could. This is not to deny and take away our hobbies, but to encourage balance.

　　Personal career development cannot be based on sacrificing marriage. Many people think that everything is OK after they get married and then dive headlong into their careers, only to find out when their marriage is in crisis that it also needs to be cared for and managed. One should not be a slave to career and money, and marriage should not be sacrificed for career.

　　In the cases I have contacted, many husbands think that after marriage, the wife is responsible for all the big and small things at home, so they work excessively overtime, and even live apart from their families for a long time in order to get better benefits and promotion opportunities.

　　Under the temptation of interests, everyone is prone to make such "sacrifices", and the outside world will sing praises of such "sacrifices", but marriage will never sing praises of such "sacrifices". The boss will not be responsible for your sick marriage, let alone for your children. The only people who pay for your career careless family behavior are you and your wife and children.

　　Don't let children and parents affect the couple's relationship. Although it sounds a bit idealistic, this is actually a goal that can be achieved slowly: children and parents can be a blessing to your couple's relationship, but they shouldn't be a stumbling block. If the couple's relationship is hurt, the parents and children will suffer as well. So, if couples can manage their relationship well before bringing quality love to their children and parents, this is a virtuous circle.

　　Many couples feedback to me that the decline in their relationship starts when they have their first child. With children, the wife will focus on the children, and the husband's pressure to earn money to support the family will increase, at which time everyone will neglect each other's emotional needs. How to continue to keep the fire of love burning after having children is a question that every couple who wants to be happy must consider. To address this dilemma, Nicky and Sheila, the founders of the Beautiful Marriage Course, suggest that couples date regularly, either for a few hours a week or for a few minutes a day to talk to each other about dating.

　　Do not let the opposite sex outside of marriage become the destroyer of your own marriage. The temptations of modern society are so numerous that many people even take pride in having lovers or extramarital affairs. Therefore, every couple who aspire to fidelity needs to remind each other: not to have too much emotional contact with the opposite sex outside of marriage, and once you find yourself interested in other people of the opposite sex far more than your partner, you must immediately stop the relationship and not leave a trace of room for temptation.

　　In fact, the rules in marriage are not meant to bind us, but to better protect the marriage. Like when walking a suspension bridge, you are safer with ropes on either side. One enjoys true freedom when one is in an environment full of rules and a sense of security.