Making the Right Choice

Is there something wrong with me or the dating world that I live in? Am I doomed for eternity to the meaningless, empty, shallow cesspool of our modern dating world?

I have been married before and have a child from that relationship. I sacrificed everything so that my ex-husband could finish his degree and have a career. I paid the mortgage, the utilities, and all of the bills to help my ex-husband pursue his degree full time. We agreed that when he graduated from school, we would start a family. Then it would be time for us to set aside selfish pursuits and careers to have the family that we dreamed about. However, that is not how the story unfolded.

After ten years of marriage, we finally started our family. Needless to say, my ex-husband was not on board with this plan. He did everything he could to distance himself from me and our child. I knew within six months of the same day to day poor behavior that something had to change. He was not going to change; therefore, he needed to move on.

I was able to find him a place to stay so we could all experience some peace in our lives. I filed for divorce and our relationship was over after eleven years. He has no relationship with our son. He has failed to pay child support for years and failed to pay our son's medical bills. It has taken money that I do not have and too much heartache to get any money out of this man. What a disappointment he has been in both of our lives!

Then when I tried to re-enter the dating world, I have encountered one failed relationship after another. The men I have come across on dating sites and through friends have been on a whole new level of Dante's hell. They either want a casual fling, need a woman to support and take care of them, or have narcissistic personalities like Scott Peterson. It has been one disaster after another.

My son and I deserve to be treated with respect, and we deserve to be loved unconditionally. I desire to be in a relationship, but I will not sacrifice myself and my son to be a part of one. I did not realize a long time ago how strong of a person I am, and I do not need someone else to complete me. I have my son, a home, a career, my family, my pets, and my friends. I do not live to be in a relationship or to find a relationship. If someone comes along that I am comfortable with and have chemistry with, then I would like to see where that relationship goes. But I will not settle for Mr.Here and Now, Mr. Sign If I Can't, Mr. It's My Way or the Highway or Mr. I'm Going to Mistreat You and Your Son. I am a work in progress and even though I have my share of flaws, I am happy with the person I have become. I like having my independence. I enjoy loving my son and my pets with my whole heart. I have more compassion, love, and kindness than most people in our world. I like to wake up each morning thinking of what I can do to help someone else and make their life a little better.

Again, I know I am not perfect and I have made my share of mistakes over the years. However, I deserve to have a love that will last forever and one that could be written into a fairy tale.