Love: The More The Better!

My Marriage is Beautiful!

“So it’s not gonna be easy. It’s going to be really hard; we’re gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, every day. You and me… every day.”

– Nicholas Sparks

I met my [now] husband while serving tables at a restaurant/bar. Wouldn’t it be nice, easier anyway, if it were something like love at first sight? Back then, for me, it was just that simple. I knew very early on that I loved him… Brian was tricky though. He said that I was too “happy” and optimistic. He said that the world is not full of rainbows & unicorns and I hadn’t experienced much yet. I didn’t understand what in the world he was talking about, so I ignored this negative attitude. I was on a mission, I liked this man, a lot! After several years of dating, a move across the country, and a decade of marriage, I now understand his concern, but I am so grateful for that naive optimism that I felt to the core of my being!

So, Brian had been married and divorced prior to me. I am not going to go into his past, because it is not mine to go into. What I can proudly share is that several years later, I wore him down and we married. When I think about his first marriage, I wonder if he would be a third of the husband he is to me, today, if he had not experienced his first marriage and first wife. Truth be told, I feel like I owe his first wife a huge thank you! Seriously! I can promise that if it was not for each of my experiences (good and bad), I would not be the woman I am today. I am very excited to share a few of the challenges that my husband & I have overcome. If it were not for that naive optimism, would we be where we are today?

In March of 2010, Brian and I loaded up our home & small petting zoo and with the help of a couple of friends, we moved across the country. To begin with, the small petting zoo, yes. I came into the relationship with a cat {Kind} & a dog {Maddie}. Brian had two cats, Lucy & Kity Kitty. Together, we adopted (rescued) Bob the Boxer.

I feel like I should maybe mention the fact that I have a tendency to be impulsive and reactive, so moving forward…

One hot July evening I was babysitting for a coworker’s cousin’s, best friend’s 2nd husbands’ lovers’ children, and Brian got angry! So, the two children were under the age of 5, and it sure wasn’t their fault that they were brought into a world where nobody cared for or loved them. It was NOT the children’s fault, so I loved, sheltered, and protected them. Yes. that meant that we missed a concert that Brian REALLY wanted to go to. Yes, that caused a huge argument, in fact, it was our very first argument!

Blah, Blah, Blah*** As kind of an apology from Brian towards our first REAL disagreement, I came home from work the very next day to a bouncy & rambunctious boxer. As in a brindle boxer, a dog, a 3rd dog. At this point, we (he) had also brought home one of our now two parrots. I am not sure at what point you go from a pet lover to charging a fee for admittance to a small petting zoo, but I am sure that we were on our way! For several years we joked about how we had to get along without arguing because we could not afford any more pets! It was (and still is) great, absolutely wonderful! I will clarify, we had been discussing Jenny, we knew she needed us & a forever home. We had been weighing this little, adorable, dopey-looking girl with our heart one moment, and our head the next moment.

In 2010 we took a huge leap of faith. Initially, Brian had a job offer through the State of Arizona. Well, two days before we left Indiana, he was notified that his position had been rescinded because of the state budget cuts. We had jobs in Indiana, but no longer had the house. We had a house and a lease we had signed in Arizona, but no jobs! Fun, right? Well, who would have expected that blind optimism that had Brian concerned a few years back, would have given us that extra **umph** a few different times.

In March 2010, Brian and I began our lives together here in Arizona.

“I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life”. -- Rita Rudner {goodhousekeeping.com}