Love Promised in a Little Black Notebook

My mother told me a story once. I thought it was just a story anyways….

Once upon a time, there was a young woman that went by the name Patricia. Born in a poor little Irish family, Patricia longed for the beautiful things in life.

As a child she would dress up in her mother’s fanciest clothes and pretend she was a movie star. What a long time ago that was. Patricia’s dreams were shattered by the reality of life. Her childhood was a lonely time. In school, making friends was hard because she did not have nice clothes like the other kids, and she was never allowed to participate in anything after school because her mother was too busy working all the time. She made a promise to herself to never bring a child into this world unless she was financially stable.

She got herself into a local community college taking classes to be a nurse, and got a job taking care of an elderly woman by the name of Evelyne after interning at the local hospital. It was a live-in position since Evelyne was diagnosed with ALS and would need 24-hour assistance. The doctors said she only had a few months left to live. She had no family and Patricia’s boss felt that she would be the perfect person for the job.

The two of them had a rough start seeing as though Evelyne was not thrilled with her current position in life, and Patricia was not one to take abuse. The first day on the job, Evelyne told her to get out of her house, that she did not need some young- miss- know- it -all crowding up her space and threw her breakfast at her when Patricia tried to give her medication. Patricia wanted to leave the food where she threw it and walk out, but instead she took a walk and talked herself into staying.

The two of them became quite close over the next few months. As Evelyn’s condition worsened, there was less talking, laughing and a lot more nursing. Lots of nights spent watching old movies, and a lot more nights of Patricia consoling Evelyne when her fear got the best of her. One night while Evelyne was having one her more clearer days, she asked Patricia to retrieve a box from the attic. She told her there was something especially important she wanted to give her.

After dinner, Evelyne asked Patricia to bring the box into her bedroom and to come sit on the bed.

Evelyne had been saving this her whole life with hopes of someday having a child of her own to pass it down too. Patricia was the closest thing she would ever have to a daughter and Evelyne loved her like a daughter and so the time seemed only right before the ALS has robbed her of speech.

Evelyne opens the box and pulls out a black notebook. She opens it to where the bookmark had permanently marked the page years of being stored away.

In it was what looked like a journal insert from long ago, but what Patricia learned was that it was a magical spell that promised a child a life that was full, complete, and never without. Patricia did not understand.

She was told that one day she would find love and with that love would come a child. When that child was born, Patricia was to read the incantation in the black notebook when she was 4 months into her pregnancy. She said with what the incantation promised there would have to be a sacrifice but that it be one that would be for the best of them both.

15 years pass. Evelyne has long time since passed away. Patricia has found the love of her life and though they struggle she would not want to do it with anyone else. Both work full time hardly leaving them time to plan a future, until one day, Patricia takes a pregnancy test after waking up feeling nauseous and tenderness in her breasts.

Scared for her future and the future of her unborn child, Patricia starts to debate with herself whether to keep the baby or not. She never forgot the promise she made to herself. At the same moment she had such a horrible thought, she heard Evelyne’s voice. She told her to remember the black notebook and that if she did what Evelyne had instructed her to do, everything would be fine.

Patricia retrieved the black notebook from her garage where it had been stored with all of Patricia’s special family heirlooms. She ran a hot bath, lighting candles in preparation for the reading of the pages in the black notebook she had been handed 15 years ago.

“THIS LIFE THAT GROWS INSIDE ME, FROM THE SEED OF OUR LOVE, I ASK FOR STABILITY, HEALTH, TIME AND PROTECTION,

FROM OUR FATHER WHO OUT IN HEAVEN, GIVE US WEALTH, SO I CAN GIVE MY CHILD UNLIMITED AFFECTION.

WITH THAT GIFT, MY LOVE YOU WILL HAVE IN YOUR POSSESSION”

She blows out the candles and gets ready for bed. She gives Pete a goodnight kiss and tells him she has a surprise for him in the morning.

When she awoke the next morning, Pete’s side of the bed was empty. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs, hoping he has not left for work before she could give him his surprise. The house is completely silent. Pete’s gone and so is anything that was his. His photos, home décor, even his coffee cup. It was as if he was never there. She ran up to her room to her jewelry box where she kept her wedding ring now that she was pregnant, and it was getting too tight. It was gone! But in its place the jewelry box was filled with 20,000$ and every month from then on. Pete was never seen again.

Patricia lost the love of her life to be the love of her child’s life. At first it was very lonely for Patricia, but once her daughter was born, she understood the sacrifice and never doubted its worth.

Which is why she has passed in on to me. And now I am passing it to you.