Little girls publish naked pictures and videos on the Internet

In an interview with the portal Janus.lv, Ieva Smildzēja, a social studies teacher and class teacher at Talsi State Gymnasium, who is also a mother of two, expresses a negative opinion about the fact that sexual education topics were excluded from the content of social sciences.

"The basic idea was that at school, teachers could present this information in some wrong way. I'll say what a 'benefit' it is: now teenagers are educated on the internet. If ever parents were afraid we might say something wrong at school, then I now compare the internet to driving without knowing any sign. Children end up in an environment that is quite unfamiliar to their parents. "

My child, you are valuable!

Parents should not go to the child and immediately fall on top of the accusations they are watching online. "A parent needs to be smart and cunning enough to communicate with their children and for parents to know what their child is doing online, who is in his circle of friends, how the child is behaving and what role he plays in the WhatsApp, Instagram, Snapchat groups. "TikTok. This can only be achieved through negotiations."

In addition to talking about using the phone, it is also good if parents can make a child feel every day: you need me, you care about me, I care about what happens to you, your age, and I am ready to understand you and learn with you. about you.

A little girl poses in lingerie

The teacher finds that often parents do not know what their children are doing online and how they are behaving. For example, there have been cases where 4th-grade students have posted very naked pictures on the Internet. The girls dressed only in underwear and were very colorful. They looked like "small dolls that didn't fit their age."

Children tend to lie to their parents about their internet activities, but often lies are related to children's fear of parental reaction. The most common reaction of parents is usually criticism, not a conversation about the child's actions and their reasons.

If neither the parent nor the teacher knows about it, then it can be said that the child is driving on the Internet and bumps, gets into accidents. "Since I'm a lot on social media myself, I can say that the pictures and videos I see there often worry and hurt me that children are so fast-growing up and putting their every activity on the internet, basically giving ourselves to the internet world we can't control, "says teacher Smildzēja.

Children tend to lie to their parents about their internet activities, but often lies are related to children's fear of parental reaction. The most common reaction of parents is usually criticism, not a conversation about the child's actions and their reasons. Parents have immediately criticized, not expressed, the view that perhaps something else should be done.

"For fear of criticism, children are self-directed on the Internet, parents do not know what they do there, and do not know the sites where children often stay, the games they play. Parents do not know what pictures and videos children put on the Internet. in a world that is actually very dangerous for emotional health, "the teacher said.

Smart and cunning

The specialist urged the parents not to immediately stumble upon the child and not to criticize his activities on the Internet, but to be smart and cunning in communication with the teenager. For example, if a parent starts a conversation in a critical tone, the adolescent will immediately deny posting half-naked pictures or watching abusive videos.

The result will be much better if the parents feel ignorant and calmly ask what are Snapchat, Facebook, TikTok, and other child's favorite social networks, how to work there, how to post pictures and videos. Parents can tell that they have learned in a school meeting that some teenagers are behaving inappropriately on these sites and ask what the child thinks about it. Such seemingly naive questions usually produce good results and pave the way for further negotiations.

Young children are usually very open to answering such supposedly naive questions, but teenagers will gradually reveal themselves. Talking together, working, and learning on the Internet can give a parent the opportunity to look at their child's Internet activities and also improve relationships.

In today's children's lives, various Internet sites play a very important role, so if adults deny it, saying, "You don't have to go there, it's nonsense, you don't get anything at all," children may close. "We as parents can think so, but we can't say it out loud, because when we close the door to communication with our teenager."

The parents themselves are already giving them a smartphone

It is much better if we put waypoints in the world of the Internet for younger children with stories, experiences, and wisdom. "Who then gives a small child a smart device? It turns out quite interesting: parents give a small child a pretty early child, even though he doesn't need it at all, but later wants to take it away." It is much more valuable if parents play with their children, watch movies, discuss their content, rather than give them a smart device.

"It is very often that parents buy a child a lot of things, but complain that the child is not interested in them. But the child does not know how to play for quite a long time. He also does not know how to plan his time. So the parent is the one who teaches the child how to plan their time what to do when the child comes home. The parent offers what to do. Young children are very flexible. Once they are offered to play together, do together, the children will respond, and not just play, the child can be involved in various activities quite early, invite help yourself. "

Give the teenager the joy of waiting

The same is true with teenagers. If you work during the week, then plan for the teenager to have something to expect, to have positive thoughts, a positive event. Routine activities such as walking every night should be introduced. That's what happens in our family every day, and we do. Or every Sunday we go somewhere. It does not always require large resources. Parents often think that everything needs money. But here, in fact, more imagination is needed.

Teenagers love events. They like that there is something to talk about. They clearly love and respect their families, but parents should not be afraid that teenagers will initially say they don't like it and they won't. "It's the first rejection reaction to something new because it's offered by a parent, not my peer! But parents don't have to step back. We're just trying to introduce a tradition into the family. Offer it to a teenager!

Sometimes parents complain that their child is not interested in anything. But what have you offered him? What ritual have you introduced? What we as parents show in our family, for example, about communication. My main point is: we cannot ask a child for what we do not do ourselves. We cannot ask a child not to speak rudely if we use rude words ourselves. We can't say that a child loves us if we don't do it ourselves. "Of course, as a teenager, a child has set a limit on how and how his or her parents can touch him or her. That should be respected.

Little screensavers need complete parental control

The expert believes that parents should definitely control the time spent on the child's screens at least until the 4th grade. "I believe that at this age we need to have full parental control. If we give little ones a smart device, we determine the content, we talk to them about the content."

It is best to talk to the child before giving the device what to do in different situations that the child can expect on the Internet, such as seeing something frightening in anxiety. "If we have done it from an early age, it will be much easier for us later. The child will know that he can work with the parent on this issue and ask for help.

A "good" grandmother who allows her to sit on the phone

Even if the child resists and does not want to obey the parent's rules, the parents must remain patient and insist on following the rules. Teacher Smildzēja shares a private experience: she once realized that the screen time for a girl was too long because the child had started to sleep poorly and see nightmares. Many teenagers have also admitted that they often see nightmares.

Mom and daughter discussed at the time that the time spent on the screens was too long and they would not look at the device at all before going to bed. It took the girl only 15 minutes to make the transition, but then she accepted the new rules of the game. "With everything falling to the ground, shouting and teasing in the family, we need a coordinated opinion between mom and dad, and between parents and grandparents. (..) Everyone needs to be treated equally in the same way, but you can do everything with your grandparents. "

If parents are not ready to control the time and content spent on a small child's screens, this device should simply not be given to the child. "A child cannot be in the device without control. We can put a cartoon on a small child, but after a second he has switched something else."

Better conversations than spying on a child's phone

The specialist encourages parents not to quietly look at the teen's smart devices to find out what he is doing there. "If a teenager finds out that we are silently touching his or her affairs, which are very, very important to him, it will definitely be a mistrust between the child and the parent, so I create this issue in my family only in communication with children." encourages teacher Ieva Smildzēja.