Journey of a Midwife and Home Birthing my Two Children

Home birthing was a natural decision for me. My background in nursing and becoming a qualified midwife helped me to decide that this was the right path. When all of the ingredients of having a home birth line up, birthing at home can feel as natural as creating a baby.

When I chose to study midwifery, it was because I was dissatisfied with nursing at the time. I had been searching for the right nursing specialty but had yet to find one. At the time I was looking for a natural caring profession that could be applied to nursing. Although my various nursing jobs all deepened and consolidated my practice; I sought a profession, what was in my mind, the most natural caring role in the world - the art of giving birth. I wanted to work with the body whilst still adhering to a natural method of care. I was tired of all the medicines and sicknesses people faced without cures; patients mainly receiving a treatment for symptoms.

I studied midwifery in Sydney, Australia. This involved attending a theoretical study day once a week, attending 4 days in the hospital for the practical experience and following 10 women from the beginning until the end of their pregnancy. This year of intense learning and the emotional and mental demands it required, lead me to burn out. I became disillusioned by the so-called natural business of birth, probably thanks to the hospital I was placed at which had a 33% C-section rate. I also once worked with an obstetric trainee who said "If I had it my way, all women would get a C-section at 34 weeks." I stood there stunned and I quietly slinked away from the conversation and from him.

When I studied midwifery, I watched many videos and read a lot of Ina May Gaskin's material who is a very popular midwife from America. She seemed to be well trained and learned regarding natural birth. According to her practice and experience, 1-2% of women ended up with a C-section and the rest birthed naturally.

When I left Australia, midwifery was something I studied but it wasn't a career I was passionate about. Though, I was very grateful to have helped a number of women birthing their babies and caring for women during pregnancy. It was a huge honor and an experience that will permanently be etched in my mind.

I once had a lady I cared for as a student who had aborted a baby as the fetus was genetically not destined to survive the full pregnancy. At around 20 weeks I helped take care of her and I was there when the fetus was birthed. I don't remember doing anything special but on the next day, the woman asked if she could name her son Alfie, a name I go by when I am at work. I, of course, said yes and wept a little. It was one of those moments where you don't quite realise how you have impacted someone until they blatantly let you know. It was an honor and a humbling moment that I always cherish.

Once I met my partner it took 2 years for us to conceive and there was no question that my birth was going to be as comfortable and stress free as possible. My partner's support was unwavering which is part of the reason I never had any doubts. He didn't bat an eyelid when I said I wanted a home birth, an option that practically doesn't exist where he is from, in Spain. Even though some of his family members were concerned, doubt was still out of the picture.

Another reason why I had a home birth and stuck with it was because of my dedicated and devoted midwife Priscilla. She was outstanding and she gave me what I needed, her support of all the things I wanted and she provided the research behind all the decisions I made if I was unsure.

When my first son was due, I was 42 weeks and 3 days which is considered overdue here in New Zealand and mostly everywhere in the Western world. My waters hadn't broken yet but my contractions were coming regularly and moderately. This continued for about 10 hours before my labor fizzled out. I received a stretch and sweep from Priscilla which involved her stretching out my cervix with her fingers and giving the waters a sweep to stimulate contractions. Priscilla left to go home and rest and I called her roughly 2 hours later as I was in full labor mode. I was gasping for air and experienced excruciating contractions to the point of vomiting. My partner started to cry as he felt so helpless and for about 20 seconds I thought whether if I could see this through and wondered if the hospital was a good idea. It was about 2pm when Priscilla and her assistant midwife arrived and by 5.14pm, Tristan was born on the living room floor covered in his own poo. He cried as soon as my partner's hands guided him into this new world. After 17 hours of labor I was exhausted. My partner cried tears of joy for us both while I just lay there with Tristan on my chest resting.

I had one very small graze that needed to be stitched while Tristan breast fed. At 10pm the midwives left and we were left alone, just us 3 and the 3 cats. Priscilla made regular home visits to make sure we were all doing OK and that our health was sound until Tristan was a few weeks old.

My second birth started at 6.40am when I was 42 weeks and 5 days. The waters broke immediately and I started contracting very intensely. I called Priscilla and she came as soon as she could. Siddhartha was born at 7.41am whilst Tristan and my mother-in-law slept without a clue, waking to find a new addition to the family.

Home birth symbolized a connection with my body on such a profound level and transcended an experience of intense pain. I was a mammal and I experienced that raw, visceral sense of what a mammal has to go through. Ina May Gaskin, in some of her videos suggested watching mammals give birth to observe their process of handling an experience where it is nothing but natural. Perhaps this ingrained something in me to have this experience. A couple of years prior, I also witnessed my cat Kali give birth under my bed to a litter of 6, birthing each little kitten, licking them intensely and devouring their placenta. I never looked at it as grotesque but an honor to watch something so intimate, magnificent and beautiful.

Birthing a baby creates a very empowering feeling. Having a familiar and safe environment creates a space of trust and minimizes fear. Knowing exactly who is in your safe space with the sole intention of providing support and care was so essential for me to see this experience through without doubt.

My experience as a student midwife questioned some intentions of the health care providers and their decision making. A 33% C-section rate is high and the chances of a woman receiving pain relief increases when women enter the hospital. This will in turn, increase the chances of interventions taking place such as forceps, ventouse or a C-section delivery. Very rarely did I find a straight forward natural birth when I trained as a midwife. When I did witness a natural birth, it was often women in their early 20s for first time mothers, deciding to take no medicine (except using some laughing gas to take the edge off the pain), usually having their mother and/or partner present and were on time with their birth. Usually, if the woman had birthed before, chances were they would be quicker and natural due to the faster labor of subsequent births.

Later than 42 weeks made health professionals concerned and they would advise prompting labor through interventions such as medicine (gel or intravenous infusion), stretch and sweep or breaking intact waters. In New Zealand, home birthing isn't at all unheard of. If you can find an independent midwife, chances are they will support you in home birthing as long as you are 100% certain that is what you want to do and the care is 100% free. New Zealand midwifery is a rarity in the world and it is very different compared to other parts of the Western world.

Looking back my home birth experience it must have been in the stars for me as I look back at all the influential factors that made it possible: Living in New Zealand, have a very supportive partner, to have found the perfect midwife, discovering Ina May Gaskin and witnessing a live mammal give birth. My home birth experience holds nothing but positive images for me. I enjoyed being and staying at home with my new babies without the worry of traveling. I liked how home birthing gave my partner and I a feeling of freedom. We nested and rested together and created a harmonious environment to bring our children into existence. Having the choice creates a lot of gratitude and I thank my lucky stars that I was able to experience such a magical moment.