Is punishment of children a sound way of education?

Some parents consider beating as one of the appropriate means of discipline in order to bring up their children, while others prefer to use alternative punishment rather than resorting to beatings under the clause of obeying orders.

A father of five children in different educational stages, who preferred not to be named for his own reasons, does not find that beating is a bad way to educate. He does not believe that it leaves negative effects, justifying his opinion, “My father used to beat me and nothing happened to me,” and mockingly, “I am still alive, I am a normal person and have no problems.”

The father, who works as an employee in a private company, believes that beating is a tool for education and a good way to punish children so that they will deter some behavior. “Battering achieves the desired results in children obeying orders and quickly.”

However, Ghada Saadi, a housewife and mother of three children of the same age, refuses to use all forms and means of beating as a means to punish her children and confront their unacceptable behavior.

Saadi, 38, prefers to punish her children by forbidding them to buy what they love, especially chocolate and sweets, or scolding them for the beating; Because she believes that “beating makes the child aggressive and weak in character.”

So why does a family member, especially parents, resort to hitting their children? Is beating a sound way of education? And what kind of beating is meant? Does beating have negative effects on the child, whether psychologically or physically? And what is the alternative solution for that?

Parents sometimes resort to hitting their children for several reasons. A study by Dr. “Adly Al-Samri,” Professor of Sociology at the National Center for Social and Criminal Research in Egypt in 2003 revealed that 96% of fathers who hit their children were beaten when they were young, and educational studies indicate that fathers or mothers who They beat their children, they were beaten when they were young, according to the director of the Child Protection Center from Abuse “Dar Al-Aman” Nancy Nagor.

The Child Protection Center from Abuse “Dar Al-Aman”, which was established in 2000, is considered the first of its kind in Jordan in particular and the Arab world in general, which deals with children who have been subjected to physical and sexual abuse from birth until the age of twelve, and the aim of its establishment was to find a temporary shelter for victims of violence The family of children in all its forms, in addition to providing psychological, social, health, educational and pedagogical services.

The lack of “parental” skills is one of the reasons why parents resort to hitting their children. In this aspect, Nagor shows that “parents sometimes have to hit their child because the “child” does not comply with orders and does not do what they are told, and in this case the parents do not know how to act in the face of their children’s behavior, so they resort to Hitting them is an appropriate method of discipline because they lack those skills.”

Children often provoke and anger a parent, so the parents find a justified reason to hit their children, but the real reason for this beating from Nagor’s point of view is due to the fact that some parents employ beating their children as a means of venting the daily pressures they are exposed to, so you find most of them after a few minutes They feel remorse for what they did because he was simply feeling angry and his child's behavior increased his anger.

Nagor continues that "there is a misconception by a group of people of some of the religious foundations in which the subject of beating was mentioned, as they justify that beating is permissible and can be used to discipline children, and this is surprising as harming animals and plants is religiously reprehensible and forbidden."

It is clear from the foregoing that there are different and different opinions on the subject of spanking, and why a group of people believe that the best method of education is spanking. The assistant professor of psychology at Al-Ahliyya Amman University, Amjad Abu Jeddi explains that “most people who believe that spanking is a good means of discipline look only at The results are immediate, but they do not know that beating educationally does not help to form a permanent and continuous behavior in the child,” stressing that “the frequent use of beating nullifies its effect, especially if it is not based on the grounds that it is a punishment.”

There are many motives that make a parent compelled to hit his child, but the most important thing, according to Abu Jedi, is “teaching the child how to avoid this beating and trying to reduce the behaviors that lead to beating through educating children and talking to them.”

As for the existence of an alternative to replace the spanking method, Abu Jedi, a former educational guide, prefers to replace the spanking method by using the positive reinforcement method in education. This is done by rewarding the child if he obeys the behavior.

Abu Jedi does not believe that “beating is a sound method of education because it solves the problem in the situation itself, and it also contributes to the child’s low self-concept and his sense of insecurity, and it develops the child’s aggressive behavior and the child becomes accepting of submission and submission.”

In her opinion, Nagor did not depart from the above, as she considers that “all the effects resulting from the beating in the end are negative and bad, and there is no justification for its use, even if it is under the heading of discipline, it is a failed alternative in all cases.”

As for the side effects of beating, many studies indicate that a child who is beaten gradually decreases his sense of pain and the simple beating becomes ineffective, which pushes the parents towards more beatings that may sometimes reach severe and torture beatings. This is in addition to an increase in the child’s sense of anger, which may turn his anger into aggressive behavior towards things by sabotaging them or by harming peers or towards himself and forming aggressive behaviors, which may lead to his failure to achieve and achieve in school.