Is It Ever Ok To Cheat?

I recently wrote a book review of Barbara Delinsky's book Within Reach on Medium and Newsbreak. The title of my review was called Does a Woman in a Loveless Marriage Deserve More? Surprisingly, since I have been struggling with views and reads on both sites (along with this one), this piece was quite popular. If you haven't had a chance to read it, you can check it out here.

This made me think about cheating and affairs. Are they really ok? There are many reasons why people look elsewhere (than in their relationship or marriage), but those excuses don't always make it fine to step out on the person that you love.

Here are some reasons why a person would cheat.

They love the feeling of a new relationship. There is nothing better than new love. Both partners go above and beyond to make the other person feel special. After months (and years), this fades, and many want these butterflies and excitement to return.

In fact, to many, a forbidden and secret affair can be the exciting way to spice up their life. Keeping secrets can be exciting and thrilling, and so starting an affair may be just the pick-me-up that you need.

Many feel like their current partner isn't into sex as much as they are. Many people cheat for sex. They want more than their partner is able to give them. Maybe a few times a month isn't enough. They may need to feel that love daily.

However, it's not always about the sex. Many people are looking for the companionship that they used to have with their partner. Whether their partner works a lot or they lead separate lives, one person can feel lonely, even in a relationship. Sometimes, having someone to talk to and confide in without sex can be considered an affair.

Sometimes, low self-esteem can be to blame for cheating. If one partner is down on him or herself, having someone else find them attractive can be very exciting (and needed).

Some people feel the need to cheat, simply because their partner did that to them. Though they may feel justified to go out and cheat on their partner, this is not a good idea at all! In fact, it can make the situation a whole lot worse. Neither of you will be able to trust each other!

They may also just be attracted to someone else! Many people feel like, once you are in a relationship or married, you will no longer feel anything for anyone else. That simply is not true! It also doesn't mean that you need to act on those feelings.

As you can see, one would cheat for many different reasons. However, none of them justify going through with it. If you are that unhappy in your relationship, you need to end it before starting another one. You don't really need the mess that comes along with trying to have two relationships (or even just a one-night stand).

Sometimes affairs are just about sex, because one partner isn't getting as much intimacy as he or she wants. Sometimes the thought of someone wanting you is enough to make you stray, especially if you have low self-esteem. If someone who looks like that wants to spend time with you, it can make you feel a whole lot better about yourself!

That being said, there are times when it isn't about sex at all. This can make it harder to define it as an affair if no sex is involved. That doesn't make it any less of a betrayal. Emotional affairs are just as harmful as physical ones. In fact, there are times when it is even more harmful!

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Previously published on Medium and/or Newsbreak.