If I Were a Dad....

This past Sunday was Father's Day, a holiday that I no longer partake in. I grew up in a toxic and abusive household. Both of my parents, whom I've been estranged from for nearly 15 years, didn't treat me with love and respect. My father was the most abusive towards me out of the two. He would yell and be physical towards me on a regular basis. I feared him every single day. If I did something he didn't like, he would question it, belittle me, and use other insults. Just being myself would easily annoy him. Since being estranged from my parents, I'm in a much happier and peaceful place. I've never shared a picture of my father on social media, because he traumatized me so much that he wasn't worth praising or acknowledging. In this story, I'll share some hypothetical scenarios that I would do if I had a son. For context, I'm in my mid-30s, single, gay, and never had any children. Would I be open to have kids in the future? If the right man comes along and his child or children and his previous spouse are okay with me being in the picture, then yes, I would be open to that. As long as there's no drama attached to it, I'm fine with it. I strongly prefer to find a man who doesn't have children, but he has a kid and is impressed with me, I would okay with it.

If I Were a Dad...

• I would comfort him whenever he feels sad or under stress. Giving him some advice and encouraging him to think positive thoughts.
• I would attend every single one of his games, if he's participating in any sport. This action would show that I'm his father and here to support him along the way.
• I would take him to fun places he would be interested in going to. My future husband and I would cherish every single memory together. Just the three of us. Whether it's at Walt Disney World or an MLB game, we're going to enjoy every single minute of our time together.
• I would encourage him to be himself. I believe that someone expressing oneself shows that they're comfortable with who they are. However, I would remind him that people are always going to talk bad about him but never listen or believe the naysayers.
• I would encourage him that he could be anything he wanted to be when he grew up by encouraging him to follow his dreams. He'll have full assurance that he has two loving and supportive dads who will always be there for him.
• I would support whoever he decides to date and marry. As long as the person he's with treats him right, he, she, or they would win my approval. Just because my son has two dads, it doesn't mean that we're bad parents. It doesn't make us any less of who we are. I believe that love makes a family, regardless of who someone is raised by.

Now that you've seen the things I would do if I had a son, once thing is for certain. I made a vow that I would never be like my father towards my future son. Since my estranged father was emotionally unavailable, distant, and acted cold towards me during my childhood, I would work hard to become the best father I would be for my future son. Many of my friends who I went to school with are now parents. Back in early 2018, I had an enormous mental breakdown, due to the stress of the job I had at the time. That made me reconsider not desiring to have children in the future. Recently, I thought about the things I would do for my son if I were a dad. Now, that I stated those things in this story, I would love to experience what fatherhood is like. Like I said earlier, the right man has to come into my life. If he doesn't have children but we mutually agree that we'd want some, we would embrace fatherhood together.