I Wish You the Very Best Of Everything!

I thought I could write this without any issues. I was wrong.

She was said to be complicated but, I do not believe so. I think, Velma was very special, not so much different or complicated. Velma was able to make you smile and laugh no matter your situation just by giving that crooked, little grin of hers. The one she used when people told her something she did not believe, or when she thought something was sarcastically funny.

Velma was a very light-skinned, African American female. She had an hourglass, models figure. To look at her, she seemed so delicate and feminine. Velma's big, dark brown eyes stared at you so serious and intensely when she spoke. as if to draw you into her spell. Her skin tone has a creamy, light caramel-colored complexion. Some have even mistaken her for a lightly tanned white woman on more than one occasion. Those long, graceful, sexy legs seemed to never end, when she walks, in 4-inch heels. Velma's head was always held up high when she walked in public. Her walk was a determined, sexy, "Hey I just walked in" kinda' step that caught and commanded everyone's attention, no matter where she was.

This worked in her favor more times than not, in business, and her personal life. She was a professional model part-time, a part-time singer in different pubs, bars, and other events, and a trophy girl for the national car races. Velma is also a mother of 9 living children, a wife of a military man, and an only daughter to her parents.

She genuinely cared about each person she ran into. Velma carried herself as if no one could touch her. She helped all people. It didn't matter their color, where they were from if they had money or not. Velma cared about each individual separately, and uniquely. That was the special thing about her. She could see you. See right through the bullshit, the lies you told others and, the most painful ones you told to yourself. Velma could see past all of that, and dig right to the core of what you wanted, felt, needed at that moment. She would help you to help yourself, or find the answers with you.

Velma never judged you. It was as if she herself had experienced all of the things everyone else had ever gone through. She could truly relate. People would remain friends with Velma for years and years to come after initially meeting her.

She had so much energy, always going and going. No one expected her death to come the way it did.

My mother Velma told everyone in our family this little quote by: American Proverb "Love Many, Trust Few, Learn to Paddle, your Own Canoe"

It stayed with us. Although I said all those wonderful things about my mother Velma (and they are all true), she was a haunted woman. She drank a lot when she was younger until she blacked out. She drove really fast over hills and bridges, she fought anyone who had an issue with her, her children, just about anyone. She could swear like a sailor at sea. and she loved to flirt. very much! One last thing, my mom loved being pregnant. How she managed to get pregnant 16 times and model beautiful dresses, gowns, and other clothes for Nadia's Fashions, give away trophies at car races, and sing was beyond me! Like I mentioned before, she has a lot of energy!

Velma was an only child so she saw a lot of what her alcoholic mother let her see. A step-father that raped her and her cousin who lived with her, Many men abusing her over the years, including my father, You see, my mom also had to fight to survive.

She taught us 7 girls and 2 boys to survive. Showed us how to fix cars when they broke down, how to clean, cook, and always work for what we wanted.

She also taught me things that even she didn't know she taught me. At least, I don't think she knew. Maybe, she was teaching me all the time. My mom taught me that no matter what situation I was in, I could always find a way out of it. Always smile because it would help me and be my best feature to draw people into my circle. Learn everything I can, whenever I can, from whatever experience I can. Don't you ever quit because no one will stop living if you were gone. The world would continue to turn without you. "Suck it up", she would always say and, "get your shit together. No one is going to "give" you anything. They care nothing about what you've been through, as we all have a story to tell.

My mom was absolutely correct. She never stopped telling all of us to love many, trust few, learn to paddle own canoe.

We all went our separate ways in life after mom passed from lung disease. She had a lunch transplant that did not go well. Broke my heart as I lay in the hospital bed with her watching this one tear go down her face, as one of her songs played on the radio. She was moving her lips talking to someone that I could not see. it seemed it was someone she was familiar with. However, her words rang in our heads, at least, they did mine as I grew up and had my own experiences. I realized that we each took what we wanted out of her loving words of survival, and made it work for us. She had to make her life work for her, the best she could. I wish I could have been there for her and understood more. Been a better daughter to and for her. Make life easier for her. just a little bit, if I could.

She did her best with us and that is all anyone could ever ask of each other. I cannot judge my mother as I respect her as a woman, and individual. She didn't belong to me. She belonged to no one. She was her own self and survived so we could not just survive, but to Live. I love and admire my mom. Rest In Heaven my Sweet Angel.