I Can Hear You Without Carrying You

I had barely started my morning when someone came banging on my door. The sound of my kids coming to my doorway to tell me someone was at the door got me. As if the first knock hadn't been heard, there was another bang on the door. It was followed by two more. It was constant. I almost didn't care to go open it.

I was wearing my usual sports bra and boy shorts as I stumbled out of bed. Searching through the baskets of clothes I had just washed for something to wear, the banging continued on. It was annoying. It sounded like the kind of knock a police officer would do. The banging sounded like it was getting louder.

I hesitated a moment, then screamed that I was coming. I grabbed the first thing that I could find. My kids were in their room playing with their toys. With sleep still in my eyes, I went over to the door and unlocked it before opening it. My neighbor from downstairs stood two steps below my door. I could see the aggravation and annoyance all over her face. All I could think was, this better be important.

Before I could bring myself to say anything, she opened up her mouth and started speaking. It was as though she was trying to find the right words to say. She rambled on, not even giving me time to respond. About how my kids were being loud as they walked across the floor. How they constantly woke her up every morning. How she was going to go to the landlord if it didn't stop. She kept going on and on.

I just stood there. I wasn't fazed at all. I wasn't affected. I was still half asleep. It was as though I was listening to what she was saying, but I wasn't listening. If that makes sense. I was just waking up from a good sleep. One that I needed. I didn't want to hear this. Imagine waking up in the morning, and the first thing you get is someone banging on your door. All kinds of thoughts would go through your mind.

Who could this be?

What happened?

It's too early for this.

I wanted to close the door in her face and go make me a cup of coffee. Cook breakfast for my kids. Get a better start to my morning. Anything but let someone else dump their frustrations on me.

The first thing I wanted to do wasn't to write a blog, but to talk to my man.

I understand that my kids could be loud. That they're not always quiet. They're kids. I'm still learning different ways to help them when they get too loud or too energetic. Nobody's perfect. And there's no book on raising the perfect kid. Kids will always be kids.

Having to deal with someone banging on my door before I had the chance to brush my teeth was something that just wasn't called for. She said that she was approaching me calmly, but everything about her coming upstairs to my door felt rude to me. Her attitude. Her demeanor. The way she approached my door first thing this morning.

Maybe she was frustrated. Maybe even a bit tired. I can understand that. But there is a difference between that and allowing what you feel to become someone else's burden. There was a better way she could have gone about it.

And as I sit here and write this, I can say she may have had a point. Some mornings I want to scream myself. Some mornings I wake up frustrated. It's not always my kids. Sometimes it's the noise from the world outside.

People going up and down the stairs. The slamming of both doors and car doors. Even banging from other apartments that are in the building next to mine. No matter how she came up those stairs, I was still going to let my morning continue. I just wanted to get my morning back.

And that's when I realized something.

I can listen to what someone is saying without taking their emotions on as my own. I can understand without allowing that frustration to become mine. I can acknowledge what happened without carrying it with me for the rest of the day.

I can hear you without carrying you.

And maybe that's what protecting your peace looks like.

Not pretending that nothing bothers you. Not ignoring people when they're trying to tell you something. Not refusing to take responsibility when you need to.

But sometimes protecting your peace simply means knowing what belongs to you and what doesn't.

This morning I decided to do just that.

I decided right then and there that I wouldn't let what happened carry through my day. I was going to take my morning back and move through it. Have a productive day.

So, I did.

I left that frustration, which wasn't mine, right where it belonged. Outside the door. Then I closed the door, locked it, made my coffee, and got back to being a mom.

No one in this life is perfect. Kids will always be kids. No matter what life throws at you, it's your choice whether or not you let it carry into the rest of your day!