How to Survive Child Support

We had just recently separated, and my former wife had moved to a new home, with our two young children spending every second weekend and a weekly evening with me.

Now I entered the wonderful world of Child Support.

In the early 2000s, when we divorced, the amount that I paid was calculated primarily on my income and the amount I spent with my children.

At first, as I was newly single and my largest commitment was rent, this did not have a large impact on my lifestyle. I was able to easily afford maintaining my car, travelling to Melbourne during my holidays to visit my family and some friends, and rebuilding my social life after my marriage. I was even able to save a small amount of my pay.

It was after I became involved with a new partner, and moved in with her and her children, that I realised how much Child Support could impact on my ability to support my new family.

This was a severe reality check. Although Centrelink, Australia’s social security agency, did provide a good benefit to us a “blended family” (including her children and mine), the fact that her former husband was exploiting loopholes in the Child Support policy to pay nil, meant that I was now supporting two families, on my salary, as she did not have a job during this period.

I had a good credit rating, and was able to borrow to make ends meet, but this did not solve our financial problem, as debt mounted.

We had problems in our relationship, and when it ended 18 months later, I left with a $10,000 debt. I did not incur additional Child Support, as we did not have any children.

My goal after overcoming the aftermath of this relationship, was to pay out this debt, as she refused to acknowledge any responsibility for it.

I was back to being a single Dad again, and, with careful budgeting, I achieved my goal of eliminating the debt. I was pleased.

A few years later, I met my new life partner, and was glad that she accepted me, with two children and, you guessed it, Child Support!

After her tertiary studies, she started her career, meaning that we now had two incomes to support us. We were able to easily afford expenses such as our rent and holidays, including flying to Melbourne and Sydney to visit family. We also organised and paid for our wedding, with a little help and honeymoon in Victoria.

We bought our home, with a mortgage, two years after our wedding.

It was after she left the workforce to have our two children, that finances became tight, and I was forced to rely on credit cards to pay bills.

She re-entered the workforce part-time two years later, and this eased the financial pressure, enabling us to make ends meet, but by then we had credit card debt to maintain.

A financial bombshell arrived two years later. My first wife, who it seemed had researched Australian Child Support calculations, let us know that she would be decreasing that amount of time that our two children would be spending with me. My daughter was in year 11 at the time, and needed to have a quiet space for her studies, and our son, two years younger, decided that he wanted the same. This was communicated to me through our children, not her, and I, having our children’s best interests at heart, agreed.

This increased that amount of Child Support that I paid, as I now spent less time with my children, and impacted, again, on my ability to provide for my family.

I refinanced my credit card debt into our mortgage, to decrease our payments. This worked for a while, but increasing family costs, including school and child care fees, meant that I was now applying for more credit cards to meet our commitments.

My wife also sustained an injury, meaning that she was no longer able to work.

Our debt had now come to a head. However, my wife had seen a segment on daytime TV about debt consolidation loans for people in hardship, and it certainly got my attention!

I contacted the company offering this service, and spoke to very understanding people, who helped me complete my application to have a debt payoff arrangement with my creditors. I did not want another loan, just a path out of our difficulties. Two weeks after my application, the arrangement was approved! It was for less than the total amount borrowed, and did not include our mortgage, only credit card and personal loan debt, and was for a period of 5 years. The irony? It was approved the year that my Child Support ended, as my younger child involved had turned 18 that year.

Since then, we have had to forego some of the things we were used to, as we now have the fortnightly debt agreement repayment, as well as our regular commitments. My parents and our families have helped us financially with major expenses (such as when two cars died).

The agreement will finish in August next year, and we will then be able to start saving again!

I have learnt a large number of lessons from this life experience, which I hope that many of the readers of this can use. These include:

• When entering Child Support, see if you are able to have shared care (50–50 custody), as this will decrease the amount you have to pay. Note: This is not always possible due to work commitments, and yes, you will also have to support your children when they are in your care
• Budgeting for your expenses, now that you have Child Support, is very important
• Before entering a new relationship, especially when your partner has children too, make time to discuss the joint finances. I know that money is not everything, but it is a killer of relationships, and I stepped into a giant bear trap!

• Look to start a side hustle, as I am on Medium, early on in your journey. In hindsight, if I had done this early on, it would have eliminated my need to rely on credit!
• If a former partner attempts to decrease children’s time with you, take time to think about your decision. I didn’t, as I wanted my children to be happy, and my decision had a major impact.

I am not a Social Security expert, but please let me know if any of you are going through what I and my family have. I am happy to help you!